Jason International

Christliche Selbsthilfegruppen und Seelsorge für Lesben und Schwule, Ex-Gays und ihre Lieben

Porno


A Letter on Homosexual Pornography - excerpted from "The Treatment of Sexual Orientation"

Written By: Dror Zandman, Clinical Psychologist
(Posted March 2012)

[ NOTE from the JONAH Directors: This letter was written by "R.L.", a former client of Israeli Psychologist Dror Zandman, and was written in two parts, one immediately prior to R.L's marriage and the second part 5 months after his marriage. It was written to encourage men dealing with unwanted SSA. This letter is part of a soon-to-be-published book in Hebrew by Israeli Psychologist, Dror Zandman, entitled: “The Treatment of Sexual Orientation”.]

My Dear Friend,

I am writing this letter a few hours before my chupah [wedding canopy & ceremony].I want to tell you about what I’ve been through in these past 10 years. I know that you are suffering great pain and are going through many crises growing up. Life feels much harder for you than it seems to be for most of your friends. You are constantly fighting your sexual feelings; you are attracted to men, but you are also religious. You live with a tremendous inner contradiction. You struggle desperately between wanting to satisfy your “natural” desires, and your emunah [faith] in the Ribono shel Olam [Master of the Universe], who seems to be cruelly torturing you by having placed you in the position in which you find yourself.
I know exactly how you feel.
I have been dealing with this exact problem since my early adolescence; from the time when I was 12 years old. I “always” knew that I was different. I wasn’t attracted to girls. (not that there were many girls around - I studied in various national religious schools where for many good reasons, the sexes are kept separate). I was attracted to men. I found men to be very sexually exciting, and I felt like I just had to find a man who I could lean on, who would protect me.
I spent years looking at magazines and then on the Internet searching for more and more pictures of sexy men. Naked men. More recently, in high school, I “graduated” to spending hours with homosexual pornography. Many, many hours. And all the time, my emunah [faith] in the Ribono shel Olam grew stronger and more profound, and I believed, deep in my heart, that He created me just as I am, with a goal and a purpose in this world.
I knew perfectly well that homosexuality is not compatible with the Torah, and that the “gay” lifestyle is deeply, and diametrically, opposed to the Jewish vision of life. The homosexual lifestyle consecrates the material world, it worships the bodily passions, and it destroys the most important basis of Jewish life - the family. Relationships between men, as wonderful as they can ever be (also between straight men, by the way), can’t even begin to approach in any way the deep connection between a man and a woman. G-d created the world in such a way that every man is missing something; a man needs a woman, and a woman needs a man. There is no other way to realize our potential or to achieve real satisfaction in any field of life, without the intimate partnership of man and wife.
It was my great good fortune, which I understand as Divine Providence, that in 9th grade, my Rav [Rabbi] noticed that something was troubling me. After many heart-to-heart talks with him, he gained my trust and I opened up and told him what I was going through. He supported me; he helped me to understand that I was not sick, that G-d didn’t hate me. He explained to me that every person has different challenges in his life, some less, some more, and that every man is given the strengths that are necessary to achieve the goals and overcome the challenges that G-d places in his path.
The rest of my high school years, and the beginning of my days in a “hesder yeshiva" [religious Zionist program combining yeshiva studies with military service], went by in the same way - but with my secret helper, my Rav, who supported me and helped me to maintain my sanity, along with a healthy and constantly developing relationship with the Ribono shel Olam [Master of the Universe].
It was a very, very hard time: in high school, in the yeshiva, and in the army. I was always surrounded by men, and at the same time surrounded by a world of Torah and religious belief. I was living a life of intense and constant contradiction.
Baruch Hashem, [blessed be G-d] I never had any sexual contact with another man, Heaven forbid. I never met another man like me - neither a religious nor a secular one. Everything I did was between me and myself; it was me and the Internet, me and the pictures, me and the masturbation, just me by myself.
Somewhere during my army service, during a very difficult time of profound despair, my Rav (with whom I have kept up a very important and meaningful relationship to this day) recommended that I see a psychologist who could help me, because he felt that he himself did not have the tools with which to move me forward, despite his enormous desire to assist me. The psychologist who helped me was Dror Zandman.
(The continuation of this letter was written 5 months after my marriage)
It was worth everything: all the suffering, all the constant coping, all the frustrations, all the crises. It is impossible for me to describe the enormous happiness, the emotional, spiritual and sexual satisfaction that I have experienced with my wife. Yes, yes, with my wife.
It is infinitely deeper, satisfying, fulfilling, and empowering; way beyond any fantasy that I ever had with men.
You can believe it! It is possible!
I was in therapy with Dror for over three years. It was standard, verbal psychological therapy, with the addition of some sex therapy. Together, we tried to ascertain the reasons behind my homosexual feelings. What was I missing? Why was I attracted to men? Why wasn’t I attracted to women? What was I attracted to in the men I desired? The therapy also included work with initiating conscious, directed arousal towards women. I learned how to redirect the amazing power of sexual imagination – which until then had only been utilized for fantasies about men - into fantasies about women. Imagining her body. Imagining a relationship with a woman. And I am telling you – all of that pales a million times when compared with the real thing – relations with a real woman.
Throughout all the time I was in therapy I would experience regressions - mostly with the Internet. (It’s unbelievable how much sickness and evil are so instantly accessible there!). But Schelomo HaMelech [King Solomon] was right when he said: “A tzadik [righteous man] will fall seven times and then rise up” (Proverbs, 24:16). Do not lose hope!
This is a very difficult struggle. Sometimes it can seem insurmountable. But it is possible! You can fight and be victorious over this accursed inclination. If you work hard, you will find a woman with whom you can fall in love, and build a “bayit ne’eman b’Yisrael!” [a home faithful to Jewish Tradition.] And even if this “problem” won’t entirely disappear (as in my case – this “false lust” for men is still there on occasion, but I have learned how to live with it or redirect it and to handle it one day at a time) – you can achieve a beautiful marriage with a woman.
Dror helped me to understand this. He pushed me; he guided me, like a blind man in the darkness. In his merit I have come to where I have always wanted to be, to where HaKodosh Baruch Hu (The Holy One, Blessed be He) wanted me to be.
Thank you, Ribono shel Olam for the “nisayon” [test] that you placed me in, and for my incredible wife. Thank you Dror for being a faithful emissary for the Creator, Yisborach [may He be blessed]. Thank you to my wife, for the love, the support, and the total acceptance [of me, with knowledge of the issues I've overcome].
Best of luck to you in your life! Believe in Hashem [G-d, literally "The Name."]!
“Blessed is the man who trusts in G-d” (Yermiahu, 17:7)


What could you do this upcoming week that you won't fall for porn again?

That might include the following:

1) Make sure you won't have access to porn (like installing an internet filter, throw away porn magazines and the like).

2) Identify the triggers in your life (things and/or people that sexually arouse you) and try to get them out of your life.

3) Find out under what circumstances you usually fall (emotional, social or whatever else circumstances). That might help you find a pattern (for instance: if you usually fall when you are stressed out, seek healthier ways to deal with stress now).

4) Find out about the legitimate needs behind your lust (for instance the need for male affirmation) and seek ways to satisfy those needs a better way.

5) Find out about the underlying emotions. For example if you usually fall when you are angry, seek healthier ways to deal with your anger now.





Empfohlene Literatur: "The Game Plan" by Joe Dallas
 





"The problem with pornography" said Pope John Paul II, "is not that a man sees too much. It is that he sees so little."
Pope John Paul II



"People suffer from sexual obsession when sexual thoughts control them rather than being able to control the thoughts."

[Earl Wilson, Sexual Sin' , p. 15] "To be controlled by anything other than Jesus Christ is idolatry and therefore sinful." [ibid., p. 18]


 
(Quelle des Materials auf dieser Seite: u.a. Joe Dallas. Sehr zu empfehlen etwa : "The Game Plan: The Men's 30 Day Strategy for Attaining Sexual Integrity. Taschenbuch: 256 Seiten. Verlag: Nelson/Word Pub Group (30. Juni 2005). Sprache: Englisch. ISBN-10: 0849906334. ISBN-13: 978-0849906336. Go and get it now!! Siehe auch Copyright-Info)


Was soll man von 12-Schritte-Programmen halten?

Es gibt verschiedene Herangehensweisen an sexuelle Probleme. Als Christ sind aber sexuelle Probleme immer auch ein Ausdruck des gebrochenen Verhältnisses zu Gott - und deshalb ist es wichtig, dies wiederherzustellen. Stelle also klar, dass das Programm, an dem tu teilnimmst, auf der Bibel basiert. Lese täglich Gottes Wort, bete und suche die Gemeinschaft mit anderen Christen. Programme, die das nicht tun, solltest du ablehnen. Ein auf der Bibel basierendes 12-Schritte Programm ist aber sehr zu empfehlen.




Nimm dir einen Zettel und schreibe auf, wie du bisher versucht hast, deine sexuellen Sünden zu verbergen. Welche Auswirkungen hatte das auf deine geistige und emotionale Verfassung sowie allgemein dein Selbstvertrauen und Selbstwertgefühl?
Wie denkst du, hat Gott versucht, deine Aufmerksamkeit auf dieses Verhalten zu lenken (Gewissen, Umstände, Heiliger Geist...)?






Dr. Mark Laaser sagt, dass die drei Säulen der Sexsucht folgende sind: Fantasie, Pornographie und Masturbation. „Fantasie wird erzeugt von einem Bedürfnis danach, tiefe Sehnsüchte zu erfüllen. Pornographie zeigt Bilder, wie das getan werden kann. Masturbation ist der physische Ausdruck der vielleicht einzigen Berührung oder Zuwendung, die der Süchtige erhält. Die drei sind in einem Zyklus angeordnet. Pornographie stimuliert Fantasie. Fantasie muss ausgedrückt werden. Masturbation erlaubt eine „Erleichterung“ dieses Bedürfnisses. Es gibt aber ein Problem in diesem Zyklus: Während sie vielleicht das physische Bedürfnis nach Sex befriedigt, befriedigt sie nie den emotionalen oder spirituellen Hunger, der tief in der Seele ruht. Süchtige haben nie gelernt, diesen Hunger auf gesunde Art und Weise zu stillen. Stattdessen versuchen sie, dieses Bedürfnis auf die leichteste und am ehesten durchführbare Methode zu befriedigen. Sex erlaubt dem Süchtigen, zu entkommen und damit zeitlich begrenzt mit diesen Gefühlen fertig zu werden. (...) Immer mehr sexuelle Aktivität jedoch erzeugt auch immer mehr negative Gefühle. Dieser Teufelskreis macht die Sexsucht zu einem degenerierenden Prozess. Sie wird schlimmer.“ (Mark Laaser, The Secret Sin)





Du musst in dein Leben eine tägliche Struktur bringen. Ein wichtiger Teil davon ist das tägliche Lesen der Bibel. Wir sind gehalten, Gott mit ganzem Herzen und bedingungslos zu lieben. Du kannst aber jemanden nicht lieben, zu dem du keine intime Beziehung hast. Wenn du Ihn tatsächlich lieben lernst, indem du gehorsam bist und sein Wort liest, wirst du automatisch vermeiden, zu sündigen, um Ihn nicht zu verletzen und beleidigen. Manchmal ist Gehorsam das Letzte, was unsere rebellischen Herzen tun wollen. Du wirst Ihn aber lieben lernen, indem du Ihn besser kennen lernst. Sein Wort bietet dir außerdem die richtige Rüstung, um den Tag gut zu überstehen. Die Bibel ist von Gott inspiriert und unfehlbar - welches bessere Mittel könnte es geben, um Ihn kennen zu lernen? In 2 Timotheus 3:16-17 lesen wir: "Jede von Gott eingegebene Schrift ist auch nützlich zur Belehrung, zur Widerlegung, zur Besserung, zur Erziehung in der Gerechtigkeit; so wird der Mensch Gottes zu jedem guten Werk bereit und gerüstet sein." Es ist weniger wichtig, wie viel du täglich liest, sondern vielmehr, dass du täglich liest. Ein Kapitel täglich ist besser als mehrere alle paar Wochen. Einige Minute Bibellesen täglich sollten also zu deinem täglichen Strukturplan gehören.
Du solltest außerdem täglich beten, nachdem du die Bibel gelesen hast. Wohlgemerkt nacher, da die Bibel dich in die richtige Richtung bringt und deine Gedanken auf das Wesentliche fokussiert. Verpflichte dich im Gebet zur sexuellen Abstinenz. Etwa wie folgt: "Heute verpflichte ich mich, die nächsten 24 Stunden sexuell abstinent zu bleiben." (sexuell abstinent ist nicht dasselbe wie sexuell rein. Sexuelle Reinheit ist das Ideal, nachdem wir alle streben, sexuelle Abstinenz der Standard, den wir von uns fordern. Komplette sexuelle Reinheit aus biblischer Sicht bedeutet die Abwesenheit jedes sexuell unmoralischen Gedankens, Wortes und jeder sexuell unmoralischen Tat. Denke auch daran, dass sexuelle Sünde aus dem Herzen kommt: "Denn von innen, aus dem Herzen der Menschen, kommen die bösen Gedanken, Unzucht, Diebstahl, Mord, Ehebruch, Habgier, Bosheit, Hinterlist, Ausschweifung, Neid, Verleumdung, Hochmut und Unvernunft. All dieses Böse kommt von innen und macht den Menschen unrein." (Markus 7:21-23, Einheitsübersetzung). Jakobus sagt in 1:14: "Jeder wird von seiner eigenen Begierde, die ihn lockt und fängt, in Versuchung geführt." Sogar ein lustvoller Blick bedeutet Ehebruch: "Ihr habt gehört, dass gesagt worden ist: Du sollst nicht die Ehe brechen. Ich aber sage euch: Wer eine Frau auch nur lüstern ansieht, hat in seinem Herzen schon Ehebruch mit ihr begangen." (Matthäus 5:27-28, Einheitsübersetzung). Wenn man also sexuelle Reinheit täglich von sich fordert, wird man fallen. Bleibe also erstmal bei der Abstinenz und sehe die Reinheit als dein Ideal an. Nimm dies aber nicht als Entschuldigung. Du bist vielleicht nicht frei von Sünde, aber du kannst dich von Pornos, Ehebruch, Sex außerhalb der Ehe usw. fernhalten. Das wäre dann Abstinenz. "Nüchternheit". Vielleicht fragst du dich nun: Wann habe ich sexuell gesündigt? Wie weit kann ich gehen? Nun, nehmen wir mal folgendes als Richtlinie: alles, was du nicht mit einer anderen Person vor deiner Frau tun kannst, ist Ehebruch. Alles, was du mit deiner Freundin nicht mitten in der Kirche tun kannst, ist sexuell unmoralisch.
Außerdem brauchst du noch eine ständige Motivation. Es ist meist nicht das Problem, richtig von falsch zu unterscheiden. Motiviert zu bleiben - das ist wahrlich schwierig! Beginne jeden Tag, indem du dich daran erinnerst, warum du mit deinem sexuell unmoralischen Verhalten aufhören willst. Du hast vielleicht nicht gleich frühmorgens die 100%-ige Motivation - aber du kannst sie dir holen, indem du täglich mit einer Wiederholung der Gründe, warum du aufhören sollst, beginnst.
Schreibe dafür auf ein Papier 35 Gründe, warum du dein Verhalten ändern solltest. Beginne mit fünf Gründen und füge täglich weiter hinzu, bis die Liste voll ist. Dann hast du genügend Motivation für jeden Tag. Und suche dir bitte keine Entschuldigungen - diese Liste täglich nach dem Bibelstudium und dem Gebet durchzulesen, ist WESENTLICH für dich!






Willenskraft alleine wird ungewolltes menschliches Verhalten nicht dauerhaft überwinden können. Willenskraft spielt sich im Kopf ab. Das Herz aber ist der Ort, wo Gefühle und Motivation ihren Ursprung haben. So kann man Probleme mit der Selbstkontrolle auch als Kampf zwischen Kopf und Herzen darstellen. Willenskraft alleine kann sogar den Teufelskreis aus Widerstehen, Nachgeben und neuem Entschluss nicht durchbrechen und so die ungewollten Sehnsüchte noch verstärken. Wir müssen die Kraft des Herzens nutzen. Dafür brauchen wir eine höhere Motivation, die das Herz so nachgiebig beeinflusst, dass es die schlechte Einstellung oder Verhaltensweise problemlos ersetzen und überwinden kann. Wir müssen vom wilden Bekämpfen zum Verfolgen von positiven Alternativen kommen.






Wenn es in meiner Gegend keine Selbsthilfegruppe gibt, soll ich selbst eine eröffnen?

Grundsätzlich ist es natürlich besser, einer bereits bestehenden Gruppe beizutreten. Wenn es aber gar nichts in der näheren Umgebung gibt, würde ich dir dringend raten, dem online-Programm von Homosexuals Anonymous beizutreten. Hier wirst du das nötige Know-How vermittelt bekommen, um selbst eine Gruppe zu eröffnen.






Telefonketten

Ein Tip aus der Praxis: Telefonketten. Besonders wirkungsvoll bei Selbsthilfegruppen, durchaus aber auch privat machbar. Sobald jemand in Gefahr ist, seinen Versuchungen nachzugehen, ruft er einen anderen Bruder (bzw. bei Frauen eine Schwester) an oder schickt eine SMS und setzt so die Kette in Gang. Die anderen versuchen schnellstmöglichst zu reagieren und ihn/sie davon abzuhalten (anrufen, bei ihm/ihr vorbeischauen usw.). Außerdem beginnen die Brüder/Schwestern, für ihn/sie zu beten.

Sehr wirkungsvoll und hilfreich! Bestimmt kennst auch du Menschen, die das für dich tun würden - und für die du dasselbe tun könntest!





Now, you may ask what burning cedar and sin have in common., or have one with the other other.

This morning I fed my wood stove early in the morning with some small cedar blocks to boost the heat output. Later on when I opened the door to add more firewood, bits of cedar hot coals spit out onto the floor.

It crossed my mind at that time that sin is just like that. When we open the door to sin, a small fire begins to grow in you. The more you add to it's pleasures, the hotter it gets. And when you try to close the door on it on your own, you are able to control it for a short time. But later on as temptation arises and  you give in that temptation and open up the door once again, sin spits out at you with even more fury, consuming you. I had a hard time controlling the embers of coal that were spitting out at me. Each time I reached out and picked up one ember and opened the door to throw it back into the firebox, another ember spit out at me, and often a few more would
come at the same time, to the point that I was having a hard time to keep it under control. Isn't that just like sin. The more we play with it, the more it keeps coming at us.

The moral of this little story is, do not open the door to sin at any time. And if you have, then lock the door permanently to it, so that it cannot gain control over you ever again. The more you play with sin, the more it controls you. And the harder it is after the fact to get rid of it.

Remember, you cannot control sin, it controls you.

andre



Was tun, wenn dich jemand sexuell erregt? Bete für diesen Menschen! Übergib ihn Gott! Bitte Gott, ihn zu segnen!



Wenn uns andere Körper auf unangemessene Weise sexuell anziehen, sollten wir uns an eines erinnern: auch diese Menschen sind Geschöpfe Gottes. Gottes Kinder. Unsere Brüder und Schwestern. Wir sollten dann für diese Menschen beten und sie Gott anvertrauen.
Es dürfte schwer sein, dann noch sexuelle Gefühle für sie zu haben...



Versuchung und Vergebung

Versuchung wird es immer geben. Es muss sie sogar geben. Auch christlicher Sicht trennt Versuchung die Spreu vom Weizen. Was wir dagegen tun können? Es gibt Waffen, die jede Versuchung meistern helfen: Das Wort Gottes und das inständige Gebet. Die "Rüstung", um in den Kampf zu ziehen - und zu gewinnen!

Als Christen dürfen wir auch auf Vergebung hoffen. Sogar wir, die wir viel und häufig gesündigt haben, dürfen Vergebung erfahren. Und wie Jesus uns bereits gesagt hat: wem viel vergeben wurde, der liebt Jesus auch umso mehr.

Wir sollten diese Vergebung also auch annehmen und uns selbst vergeben. Und im Gegenzug denen, die uns verletzt haben.

Dass wir mit unseren christlichen Prinzipien nicht immer auf Verständnis und Gegenliebe stoßen werden, hat uns Jesus ebenfalls klar gemacht - kurz bevor er ans Kreuz geschlagen wurde.

Wenn die Menschen schon damals so gehandelt haben, als das Holz noch grün war, wie werden sie erst handeln, wenn das Holz trocken ist...



Bibelverse:
Titus 2:6, Hiob 31:1, 2 Timotheus 1:7




Guys,

I'd like to remind you of how important discipline is for recovery. Holding on to your program, your daily structure. Pursuing your goal - no matter how long it takes and how hard it will be. Learning to control your lust - and not let it control you.

God bless you,

Robert


Erotic dreams

Sometimes it happens that you have one of those erotic dreams - or even a nightmare with memories from your past.
You wake up and you think: I can't believe that happened. You can learn to control your thoughts during daytime, but at night you are defenseless. Totally vulnerable.
That is when the devil tries to get the foot into the door.
I had one of those dreams tonight. I acted out with a man in my dream.
Now it is really important how you react to that and how you feel about it.
I woke up, realized what has happened and started praying. First I told the devil he will not get me like this. He might send me dreams at night when I can do nothing about it, but he won't get me at broad daylight. Also he will not discourage me with that or make me think I can never do it. I can never overcome my same-sex attractions.
I can and I did.
Then I got up and after I took a shower I sat down and started reading His Word - the best remedy against satan's attacks. Then I prayed again.
So - yes, he got me really horny tonight. So what? It was not my fault. I did ask the Lord for forgiveness in case there was some sort of fantasy on my part involved or if I triggered it with something. Honestly, I don't think so, but whatever. But I KNOW I am free - the victory is already won!
Funny that it happened exactly tonight. I met a girl yesterday at that event I was speaking at. She was speaking there, too (she is a nurse and helps women not to abort. She stands in front of hospitals and offers them all kinds of help and assistance). On our ride back with the train we had a good time and got along very well. So I do have hetero feelings and desires in me.
So then the devil tries to convince me that I will forever be "gay".

NO! I WON'T!
Resist the devil and he will flee from you. He won't even call it a fight then.
Don't believe his lies. See them as what they really are: lies.
And hold on to Jesus - whatever happens. Stay in His Word. Temptation has to be in the world, but the Lord also gave us a means to cope with it:
The Bible.
God bless you,
Robert





Shirtless Men

Guys,

you might think sometimes what the heck - it is not sinful to look at pics with shirtless men on them. What's the big deal? It's not porn!

Well, let me tell you this: it is not porn for others - it sure is for you if it triggers you (and obvioulsy it does so!). You are not looking at them because you like the guy's pants. You WANT to see his nakes upper body!

SURE that is porn to you!

EVERYTHING that might be harmless to others will become temptation (or even sinful if you look for it on purpose) for you if it sexually arouses you.

And once you enter that road, the chain reaction begins: you want more, you click on other pages, you fantasize, you masturbate, you have sex.

The same with inappropriate second looks: FORCE yourself not to look twice if somebody or something turns you on!

Once you open that door a little bit, the devil sure won't miss his fat chance to get a foot in and push things harder.

Resist the devil and he will flee from you! He won't even call it a fight then!

God bless you,

Robert



Hi Guys;
 
Some of you, like me often at times flirt with sin. You think you can sin and get away with it. It is like playing with matches and dynamite. You can play a while, but in time, you will get hurt.
 
Most of you have flirted with sin, and paid the consequences, only to go back and play and play and play again. How long do you think you can continue to flirt with sin? Do you really think you can keep on playing with sin and not get hurt? Do you think you can keep on sinning for a long time and escape any pain, any hurt, any judgment of God? Is. 28:22;  Do you think God will allow you to forever keep on in your sin? Do you as a parent allow your sons and daughters to continually get away from wrong doing? Would God also not allow you to continue in wrong doing?
 
Gal. 6:7-8   God makes it plain.
 
" Be not decieved; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.
For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting."
 
 
These verses tells us that God will not allow us to continue on in sin forever. In time He will judge and pass punishment on those who continue in sin habitually. It could be with death, with disease, with loss of loved ones. Who knows? God Knows!
 
Is aids a disease of those who are obeying the Word of God? Is syphilis, is ghonerea, or any other sexually transmitted disease a judgment against those who obey God and His ways?
 
Sexual immorality after all kills and destroys more families, friends etc than does any other sin, be it with drugs, alcohol etc.
 
Go ahead and continue in your sin if you wish. Play with it. Seek it out. Cruise the saunas, seek out another thrill. Go to the ssa bars. Pick up another dude.
It really does not matter, because there is no God to stop me to do what I want to do. I can do whatever I want and there are no consequences. So goes the thinking of most of the world. Are you part of the most of the world? Do you really think God is not real? Perhaps you think He is blind and cannot see your sins. I won't bother to quote you verses that say otherwise. Because some of you think He is Blind, or turns His eye away from your sins.
 
I am ashamed of some of you, because you behave like the world. Behaving as if God is Blind, as if He will turn a blind eye away from your sins. Believing there is no consequence from you sexual immorality.
 
Is not your body, a temple, a temple belonging to Christ? Therefore when you are using your body for sinful acts, are you not also using your body for Christ. Therefore you are using Christ for your sexual immorality. Will you continue to mutilate, to crucify the body of Christ with your sexual immorality? You put the body of Christ world wide to shame when you sin this way. You put to shame the witness of the world body of Christ. How can we as a body of Christ proclaim Him when we disgust and abuse ourselves sexually with the whole world watching. Do you not think others see what you do? Do you not think others whom have heard you proclaim Christ also see you disclaim the witness of Christ with your sin?
 
I will not turn my back on you, nor will God. BUT !! He will neither allow you to continue in your sins for very long before He has to stop you and punish you. If you are not serious about change, will God be about helping you to change?
 
Rom. 1:18-32 is  telling look at not only the past Gentile world and judgement, but of also today, for the world is no different for many go about flouting their sin and going about in their sin thinking that they can do what they want believing that no harm can come to them.
 
Do not be so foolish my friends. The time is here and is coming very quickly when once again the wrath of God will descend . Yes, you may get away with your sins for a time. But in time God will also reign in his patience and will wreak havoc and wrath on those whom  practice immorality. 
 
Go ahead and destroy your body if you will. Go ahead and take another child of God with you if you will and suffer the shame and consequences. But stop professing Christ if you will not obey and follow His ways. For how can you be a follower of Christ if you follow not  Christ?
 
The following is an article on Flirting with sin. Read it and decide. I would rather you, whom continue to flaunt and habitually sin with ssa would leave rather than destroy the witness of Christ. Sure. it is one thing to fall now and again. None of us is perfect, but to continue on habitually and then come back and cry I have done it again, is not repenting or turning your face to God. 
 
 
This is hard and meant to be hard. Wake up. Smell the coffee. Smarten up and either work at change or go back into your caverns of sin.
 
 

When Jesus told the woman to "go sin no more'., what did He mean? Did He mean that she would not sin? I don't think so. I think that Jesus was saying don't sin wilfully like you did before. We have sins of omission, we forget to worship god and sins of comission, we cmit sin and know it's wrong. Jesus sets us free from our past sins and asks us as Christians to follow Him .. how often we fail to do this.
Yet to sin and induce another to sin as well compounds the sin (makes the sin worse). To know how to do right and then do wrong is sin. And we fall short of the glory of God, God calls us to be 'holy' as He is holy. Our sin takes us away from God and we break our fellowship with God. Sion destroys our union with God. Of course we can confess our sins to God abd He will forgive us and bleanse us, isan;t that great to know. But we should as the Bible tells us to, "avoid sin", as God understands the ramification of sin in our life.
We must practice our Christian faith. Going to church will do noone any good, unless they are 'born again'. Reading many books may give us knowledge but unless we apply the knowledge gained our reading is in vain, much like our Christianity, ubless we practice it we arestill "without hope and without God' in this world.
Believe me I know that sin is powerful, yet I have founda power greater than sin that has set me free. You also can attain freedom by reading and doing and avoiding all places where you may find sin.

Bill B.



(Quelle: u.a. Joe Dallas)
Beitrag von Fight the New Drug.

Links Porno

Wahre Liebe wartet
www.wahreliebewartet.de

 

Deutsches Institut für Jugend und Gesellschaft: Pornographie und Sexsucht

 

Nackte Tatsachen: http://www.nacktetatsachen.at/deutsch/index.php

SHG-Pornographieabhängigkeit: http://www.shg-pornographieabhaengigkeit.de/shg/index.php


 

www.porno-frei.ch
sex-porno-erotik.ch sex (Infoseite)
sexsucht.jesus.ch
Männerforum Schweiz Internationale Männer-Bewegung
Jesus.CH News, Magazin, Ratgeber

Sex&Love Magazin von Jesus.ch

Endlich Leben
12 Schritte-Programm

nomoreporn.de
Lösungsstrategien aufgrund christlicher Grundlagen

Sex Addicts Anonymous
Anonyme Sexsüchtige

Porn-Free.org
Englischprachige Hilfeseite

Family
Familienmagazin

Wahre Liebe wartet
Rein in die Ehe

Livenet
Internetportal von Schweizer Christen

ERlebt
Kraft zur Veränderung

Genesis Counseling


www.pureonline.com

 

Pure Restoration
www.purerestoration.org
The Pure Restoration workshops help men of all ages better understand & recover from pornography addiction (including internet pornography) & infidelity. Pure Restoration.s co-creator Joe Dallas & his inspiring, results-oriented, 4-day recovery workshops have helped thousands of men over the last 3 years. If you are ready to take control of this problem instead of continuing to let it control you, then we can help.

 

Dads.org. Help for those struggling with pornography


True Love Waits Campaign
www.truelovewaits.com

MarriagePartnership.com

 www.christianitytoday.com/marriage


Marriage Builders

www.marriagebuilders.com

www.pureintimacy.org

Emotional Abuse
http://www.myndtalk.org/htm/abuse.htm


Open Hearts Ministry
 http://www.gospelcom.net/openhearts/


Spiritual Abuse Recovery Resources
www.spiritualabuse.com

Jim Hopper's Home Page
 www.jimhopper.com

Be Broken

 www.bebroken.com

Covenant

www.covenanteyes.com

Fires of Darkness

www.firesofdarkness.com

Porn Free
http://porn-free.org
www.porn-free.org

Pure Life Ministries
www.purelifeministries.org

Pure Restoration
 www.purerestoration.com

Sex Addicts Anonymous
www.saa-recovery.org

Sexaholics Anonymous
www.sa.org

Every Man's Battle
www.everymansbattle.com
At New Life Ministries we receive hundreds of calls every month from Christian men who are struggling to stay pure in the midst of daily challenges to their sexual integrity. We are committed to helping men win this battle for sexual purity, & have developed workshops for men, their wives, & pastors, all of which are focused on helping men achieve & maintain victory over these temptations.
Every Woman's Battle
www.everywomansbattle.com
The only way women can survive the intense struggle for sexual integrity is by guarding not just your body, but your mind & heart as well. Every Woman's Battle, an outreach of New Life Ministries, can help you learn to do that using real-life stories & examples from her own struggle, Shannon Ethridge helps women like you - whether married, engaged, or planning to marry someday.

Celebrate Recovery
www.celebraterecovery.com

Same-Sex Attraction Morality League (catholic)


www.thepainofporn.com
The horror that pornography has brought among wives and loved ones is real. Read the stories submitted by everyday wives, husbands, and even more sadly, children, telling of how their husband's or father's use of pornography has wounded them deeply and how for most, the wounds are just the beginning.

 www.higher-calling.com
Christ-centered community abundant with hope for the sexually broken.

www.freeinchrist.truepath.com
Christ-Centered Men's Support | Be set free from sexual addiction | Great Resources

www.firesofdarkness.com
Reaching out to pornography addicts and the people who love them.

www.battleplanministries.org
Battle Plan Ministry (BPM) at Central Church in Collierville, TN, provides an online and face-to-face ministry of restoration and discipleship for Christians who are involved in habitual sexual sin, support for women, the silent victims of sexual sin involving men in their lives, and resources for families dealing with the onslaught of our sexually saturated world.

www.porn-free.org
Helping people discover the truth about pornography and "sexual" addictions.

www.christians-in-recovery.org

www.pfox.org
Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays & Gays (PFOX) provides outreach, education, and public awareness in support of the ex-gay community and families touched by homosexuality. PFOX has local chapters across the country.

www.techmission.org
TechMission is a non-profit social service organization. TechMission supports Christian organizations in using technology to transform vulnerable communities.


www.realityresources.com 

Helpful Ministries in the States


Desert Stream Ministries

Founded and directed by Andrew Comiskey, author of Pursuing Sexual Wholeness and the Living Waters program, this ministry brings the healing power of Jesus to men and women struggling with sexual and relational issues such as homosexuality, sexual addiction, and sexual abuse. Ministry groups are held throughout the U.S.
P.O. Box 17635, Anaheim, CA 92817-7635
714-779-6899
www.DesertStream.org

eXXit

This website provides resources such as a daily three-minute Bible study to help those struggling with pornography to stand strong and resist temptation.
www.eXXit.org

Faithful And True Ministries
This ministry features the resources of Mark Laaser, Ph.D., author of several books on sexual addiction.
6542 Regency Lane, Eden Prairie, MN 55344 www.FaithfulAndTrueMinistries.com

Focus on the Family
This ministry features the resources of author Dr. James Dobson and other Christian experts on a myriad of topics including marriage, the family, pornography, and unfaithfulness.
800-A-FAMILY (232-6459)
www.Family.org and www.PureIntimacy.org

Heart to Heart Counseling Centers
Features the resources of Dr. Douglas Weiss, a counselor, lecturer and author of such books as Faithful and True: Sexual Integrity in a Fallen World and 101 Practical Exercises for Sexual Addiction Recovery.
5080 Mark Dabling Blvd., Colorado Springs, CO 80918
719-278-3708
www.SexAddict.com

Overcomers Outreach
This Christian-based addiction ministry uses a 12-step support group model.
P.O. Box 2208, Oakhurst, CA 93644
800-310-3001
www.OvercomersOutreach.org

Pure Life Ministries
This ministry offers the resources of author Steve Gallagher, plus residential care, phone counseling, help for wives of men in sexual sin, and Men of Purity Weekends.
14 School Street, Dry Ridge, KY 41035
877-301-7566
www.PureLifeMinistries.org

Sought Out, Inc.
Based in Virginia, this ministry proclaims sexual redemption in Christ from pornography, adultery, and same-sex attraction.
P.O. Box 62019, Virginia Beach, VA 23466
757-631-0099
www.SoughtOut.org

Stone Gate Resources
This ministry features the resources of Dr. Harry Schaumburg.
11509 Palmer Divide Road, Larkspur, CO 80118 303-688-5680 www.StoneGateResources.org

Theophostic Prayer Ministries
Pastors, professional counselors, and lay ministers use this method of prayer counseling to bring the healing power of Jesus to people with a wide variety of emotional wounds.
P.O. Box 489, Campbellsville, KY 42719
270-465-3757
www.Theophostic.com

What If? Freedom Ministries
Phil and Bobi Naukam founded this ministry to assist others in escaping the grip of pornography.
P.O. Box 470252, Tulsa, OK 74147-0252
918-249-FREE (3733)
www.WhatIfMinistries.com

 

Further Reading

Every Man's Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time, by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker with Mike Yorkey, Waterbrook Press. (This book also contains sections written especially for the wives of men who struggle with pornography.)

Addicted to "Love," by Stephen Arterburn, Servant Publications.

Breaking Free: Understanding Sexual Addiction and the Healing Power of Jesus, by Russell Willingham, InterVarsity Press.

Faithful and True: Sexual Integrity in a Fallen World, by Mark Laaser, Ph.D., Zondervan.

False Intimacy: Understanding the Struggle of Sex Addiction, by Dr. Harry Schaumburg, NavPress.

The Final Freedom: Pioneering Sexual Addiction Recovery, by Douglas Weiss, Ph.D., Heart to Heart Counseling Center.

At the Altar of Sexual Idolatry, by Steve Gallagher, Pure Life Ministries.

Ordering Your Private World, by Gordon MacDonald, Thomas Nelson Publishers.

Personal Holiness in Times of Temptation, by Bruce Wilkinson, Walk Thru the Bible Ministries.


Restoration Manual  - A Workbook for Restoring Fallen Ministers and Religious Leaders. A step by step process of organizing a Restoration Team for a repentant pastor with practical recovery steps. This unique workbook will help the broken minister pick up the pieces of his life as it gives hope and direction.

 

You Can Become Porn Free - Learn how to stop the habit with God's help. Includes tips on avoiding porn, steps to breaking the habit, spiritual warfare points, deliverance, salvation steps, testimonial, links and much more!

 

Pure Intimacy - A resource for those struggling with online pornography

 

 

HelpandHope.org - Official home page for OASISS

 

 

Breaking the Power of Pornography - Pornography seems to make everything better--until it makes everything worse. Ironically, the journey to freedom and change is just the opposite. Everything usually gets worse before it gets better. The one thing a man can expect to encounter is the unexpected. It is a trademark of God to use the unusual to bring about His purposes.

 

 

Great Support System for Recovery - The support group participants, whatever their need, find the extra care and encouragement necessary to grow beyond the wounds of life's battles, the difficulties in family relationships, the bondage of addictive habits and behaviors, and the isolation caused by shame. OO meetings are filled with the faith, hope, and love that only God can provide through Christ

 


Sex Addiction - Presents Sex Addiction Recovery Resources
 

 

Home Site for Sex Addicts Anonymous - Sex Addicts Anonymous, SAA, is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other so they may overcome their sexual addiction and help others recover from sexual addiction or dependency.

 

 

Healing From Sexual Brokenness - Mastering Life Ministries is an interdenominational, non-profit Christian ministry. It exists in order to target areas of life where people are caught and deceived into unhealthy, dysfunctional life-styles that separate them from the power and blessing of God, and to equip the Church to redemptively minister to such people.

Our primary focus is sexual sin and brokenness, and related issues such as intimacy with the Father, performance orientation, anger management, etc. The tools of our ministry include film, television, and radio as well as seminars and publications that communicate the truth of Jesus Christ.

 


MORALITY IN MEDIA, INC is a national, not-for-profit, interfaith organization established in 1962 to combat obscenity and uphold decency standards in the media. It conducts public information programs to educate and involve concerned citizens, and maintains the National Obscenity Law Center, a clearinghouse of legal materials on obscenity law.

 

 

ObsenityCrimes.Org -  A Resource for Educating the public and for Reporting possible violations of Internet Obscenity Laws.

 

 

The Good Shepherd Restoration Ministries - We're here to help both Believers and non believers overcome all forms of addictions; Alcoholism,  Drug Addiction, Compulsive Gambling, Over-Eating, Compulsive Sexual Behaviors, as well as Co-Dependence and Love Addiction.


Overcomes Outreach
www.overcomersoutreach.org
 

For further information contact:

 

OVERCOMERS OUTREACH
P.O. Box 2208
Oakhurst, CA 93644
Phone Toll Free: 1-800-310-3001
Email: info@overcomersoutreach.org

Pornography Addictions:

www.porno-frei.ch

www.exa.co.za/openi/

www.covenanteyes.com

www.enough.org

www.pureintimacy.org

www.parsonage.org
www.xxxchurch.com

www.genesiscounseling.org


Abstinence and Purity


Pure Intimacy
A ministry of Focus on the Family designed to help "Recover the heart of sexuality." This site helps with issues regarding pornography, homosexuality, sex in marriage, and other areas pertaining to sex.

Are you a good enough person to get into heaven?
When Kirk Kameron pops up and asks if you're a Christian, click "no" to take a test. You'll find out that you need Jesus.

Student Venture Temecula
Purity Exposed is a ministry of Temecula Student Venture. Student Venture is a high school and junior high ministry under the auspices of Campus Crusade for Christ International.


Up To Date Movie Reviews
I'll never see a movie again before reading a 'plugged in' review! Save your friends and yourself the embarrassment, get plugged in! 

True Love Waits
True Love Waits challenges students to make the right and radical choice of sexual purity

Living Stones Ministry and Conferences
Educators for the church regarding homosexualtiy.

PATH - Positive Alternatives to Homosexuality
PATH is a non-profit coalition of organizations that help people with unwanted same-sex attractions (SSA) realize their personal goals for change -- whether by developing their innate heterosexual potential or by embracing a lifestyle as a single, non-sexually active man or woman.


Listen to Worship Music online
Fresh contemporary worship online

Video Game Reviews
Video games, music, movie reviews, news and articles from one of the top Christian critics in the business

What MTV doesn't want you to know
Shocking exposes on your favorite artists. You'll never get this info on MTV.

Stuff for your whole family
James Dobson's ministry Focus on the Family offers hundreds of resources for every member of your family on hundreds of topics



Exxit: http://www.exxit.org/

Beitrag von Fight the New Drug.
Beitrag von Catholic Answers.
Beitrag von Fight the New Drug.
Beitrag von Homosexuals Anonymous.

Pornographie

Pornographie erhöht die Anzahl der Vergewaltigungen. Sie fördert auch übertriebene Erwartungen an das, was man in der Ehe im Rahmen des Geschlechtsverkehrs vollzieht. Ehefrauen können nicht mit den perfektionierten Körpern der weiblichen Pornostars konkurrieren. Auch können Männer in Versuchung geraten, zu denken, dass Frauen tatsächlich so sind wie in den Pornos, oder dass Frauen wirklich auf das stehen, was dort vollzogen wird und das dann auch ausprobieren wollen – etwa indem sie ihre Frauen körperlich misshandeln, schlagen etc.

Mal ganz abgesehen davon: Hast du dir jemals Gedanken darüber gemacht, welches persönliche Schicksal hinter den Lebensgeschichten der Pornostars steckt? Was sie dazu gebracht hat, das zu tun? Zumeist sind dies tragische Geschichten, die oft auch sexuellen Missbrauch (oder Missbrauch anderer Art) umfassen! Jason Evert hat einmal sinngemäß gesagt, wir müssen unsere Liebe zu diesen Pornostars vergrößern. Wir müssen uns verantwortlich für sie fühlen und sie nicht ausbeuten.

Papst Johannes Paul II. hat einmal sinngemäß gesagt, Pornographie sei nicht falsch, weil sie zuviel zeigt, sondern weil sie zuwenig zeigt. Sie reduziert Menschen auf ihre Körper und zeigt sie nicht so, wie Gott sie sieht.

Hast du dir jemals vorgestellt, wie unglaublich es wäre, wenn der erste nackte Körper des anderen Geschlechts, den du zu sehen bekommst, der deines Ehepartners wäre? Wenn deine Gedanken nicht durch unzählige Bilder nackter Körper oder Erinnerungen an vergangene Sexkontakte verschmutzt wären sondern sich ganz auf den Ehepartner konzentrieren könnten? Wollen wir das nicht zumindest unseren Kindern vermitteln?

(Quelle: Jason Evert)

Beitrag von AntiPornography.org - Nonreligious, Pro Free Speech, Pro Healthy Sex & Love.

Warum ist es so schwer, von Porno loszukommen?


Weil sich die Erinnerung an die gesehenen Bilder sowie die dabei ausgelöste körperliche Reaktion (bzw. die Reaktion in unserem Kopf) unauslöschlich in unser Gehirn eingebrannt hat und man sich oft noch nach Jahrzehnten an diverse Bilder erinnert. Es ist wie eine Bibliothek, in der man sich bei Bedarf bedienen kann.

Gerade in Zeiten, in denen wir ein "Schmerzmittel" brauchen, etwas, um zu vergessen, oder um Schmerz jeglicher Art, Langeweile, Ärger, Angstgefühle, Trauer, Depressionen oder was auch immer betäuben zu können, kommt die Versuchung wieder hoch, es doch mit der "bewährten alten Methode" - also Porno zu versuchen.

Dessen müssen wir uns bewusst sein und darauf achten, dass wir all diese Emotionen und die dahinterstehenden Bedürfnisse auf gesunde Art und Weise befriedigen, täglich beten sowie die Bibel lesen, regelmäßig zum Gottesdienst gehen und uns Rechenschaftspartner für all das, was in uns vorgeht und was wir tun, suchen. Ebenso ist es hilfreich, sich einen Aktionsplan für das "Worst-Case Szenario", also für den schlimmsten Fall (einen Rückfall) zurechtzulegen (Wen rufe ich an? Was tue ich dann sofort, um einen erneuten Rückfall zu verhindern?). Ebenso sollten wir unser gesamtes Leben durchforschen: Welche Freunde habe ich, welche Filme sehe ich mir im Fernsehen an, welche Homepages im Internet, welche Zeitschriften lese ich, welche Sachen oder Personen sind für mich sexuelle Versuchungen. Wenn wir das wissen, können wir auch nötige Maßnahmen treffen, um Rückfälle zu vermeiden.

 

Beitrag von Catholic Answers.

The Net

Be careful about surfing the net. If you should come across something you know you should not look at, please delete it right away. Temptation is a nasty addiction, in that when you see something, it entices you to come inside and stay a little while, which in turn turns to succumbing fully to the temptation. Just as Joseph ran from Potiphar's wife, you, too, must run away from any temptation.
 
Have a great week
 
Andre

Links National

kath.net: Wie Pornos die Jugend beeinflussen

Studien zu Pornographie, Internetsexsucht & Cybersex

Dr. med. R. Febres Landauro


http://dr-richi.com/german/index.php/de/

Kontaktdaten

Ich freue mich auf Ihren Anruf oder Ihre E-mail. Sie brauchen keine Überweisung.

In Österreich erreichen Sie meine Ordination unter +43 662 84 53 25.

In Deutschland erreichen Sie die Praxis unter +49 8651 979 38 29.

Nonntaler Hauptstraße 1
A-5020 Salzburg


Saint Mary Magdalene de Pazzi

Model of true love and Patron saint of those who suffer from sexual temptations: http://www.trueknights.org/Newsletter/EletterV3I9-Saint.html


Resources (Links)

CD-Set: Pure of Heart

For more useful resources please go to Pure Passion

American Family Association: Somebody's Daughter (DVD on porn)

Podcasts with Joe Dallas

OnePlace.com: Sexual Resolution with Joe Dallas

Out of the Darkness (DVD)


"Voll Porno!": Warum echte Kerle "Nein" sagen (Broschiert)
von Christoph Pahl (Autor), Bernd Siggelkow (Vorwort)
Broschiert: 198 Seiten
Verlag: Francke-Buchhandlung; Auflage: 1., Auflage (Januar 2010)
Sprache: Deutsch
ISBN-10: 386827166X
ISBN-13: 978-3868271669

KinseySyndrome.com




Here is a great list of other choices from our SA friends. **Be aware that what works may shift/diminish and change over time and according to the intensity of emotions.  BUT....If it stops working, go to something else.
Phil (TX)

100 ways to stay sober


1 ) Don’t forget the past.
2 ) Don’t overdo any "medication"
3 ) Stay away from acting out places, people, websites
4 ) Acknowledge a total slip will follow the first look, phone call, or turn you shouldn't make.
5 ) Listen and try to help another sex addict today.
6 ) Attend S-Group, AA, or other 12 Step regularly and get involved.
7 ) Help someone today even in the smallest way, not expecting something in return.
8 ) Think about the word "insanity" and "restore" in step 2.
9 ) Maintain a conscious contact with God
10) Ask what you can do for your group.
11) Pause!!! when insanity comes.
12) Ask God to come into your heart and mind in that pause.
13) Get a sponsor immediately!
14) Call your sponsor daily
15) Offer to help your sponsor with some thing
16) Visit a recovery house, or do some volunteer work.
17) Visit a depressed friend
18) Listen to learn
19) In problems, examine your part, first
20) Remember, your disease is incurable, progressive and fatal.
21) Do first things first.
22) Don't become too tired.
23) Eat at regular hours.
24) Use the telephone to call someone in recovery, when upset.
25) Be active - don't just sit around. Idle time will kill you.
26) Say the Serenity Prayer daily.
27) Change old routines and patterns that are not positive.
28) Don't become too hungry.
29) Avoid loneliness.
30) Practice control of your anger.
31) Air your resentments.
32) Be willing to help whenever needed.
33) Be good to yourself, you deserve it.
34) Slow down. Easy does it.
35) Get out of the "IF ONLY" trap.
36) Remember HOW IT WAS. Your last slip, the feelings etc.
37) Beware of how you will react beforehand. Expect your emotions.
38) Help another in his/her recovery, extend your hand, listen.
39) Try to turn your life and your will over to your Higher Power.
40) Avoid all mood-altering drugs, read labels on all medicines.
41) Turn loose of old negative ideas.
42) If you must go to a situation where there will be temptation, take a sober 12 step buddy with you.

43) Replace old acting out buddies with new SA/SAA buddies.

44) Read the AA Big Book slowly.
45) Try not to be dependent on another.

46) Be grateful and when not make a GRATITUDE list.
47) Don't feel sorry for yourself.
48) Seek knowledgeable help when you are troubled.
49) Review step ONE. "We were" is past tense, if we use our new tools. 

50) Discuss a paragraph out of the Big Book with someone.

51) Turn your will over to God, knowing some action is needed by you. 

52) Say Thank you at the end of each day.
53) Plant the "recovery" seed and accept the rest.
54) Don't try to test your will power Once a pickle always a pickle.

55) Live TODAY, not YESTERDAY, not TOMORROW.
56) Remember that God alone sets the element of QUALTIY and Quantity of time. 

57) Remember your addiction is - cunning, baffling and powerful.
58) Give yourself credit for something good you accomplished today.
59) Love someone else first, then love yourself.
60) Share your experience, strength and hope.
61) Cherish your recovery.
62) Dump negative thinking.
63) Get plenty of "restful" sleep.
64) Stay sober for you - not someone else
65) Practice rigorous honesty with yourself and others.
66) Remember HALT, Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired.
67) Forget the old saying "don't do this for one year"

Only God can measure your quality and quantity of time and sobriety. 

68) Get a sponsor and use him/her to learn how to LIVE the 12 steps
69) Know that no matter what your problems, someone's had them before.

Don't be afraid to share, as a problem shared is one 1/2 solved.
70) Strive for progress not perfection.
71) When in doubt ask questions. The only stupid question is the one not asked.
72) Live step 11 with prayer and meditation.
73) Balance yourself.
74) Don't use other things obsessively as a maintenance program.
75) Learn to take spot check inventories.
76) Remember the fact that NOTHING will make you act out again.
77) Know that it’s okay to be human, to make mistakes.
78) Be kind to yourself. Don't be hard on yourself.
79) Take the disease seriously! It can kill you.
80) Know that whatever it is that's causing pain - it shall pass.
81) Smile at the worse problem and see what you can learn.
82) Don't give away more than you can afford too.
83) Don't stay inside too much. Get out, go somewhere!
84) Get a home group and attend it regularly.
85) Don't expect life to be all roses, even in sobriety. Without problems there would be no use for our existence. 86) Remember step one begins "WE" You are not alone.
87) Be willing to go to any lengths to stay and be sober.
88) Know that no matter how bleak and dark your past may be, it will get better!
89) Read the Promises in the Big Book page 83 and 84.
90) Don't be in a hurry.
91) Watch out for your EGO.
92) Protect your sobriety at all costs. Keep the light on you.
93) Learn to listen, not just hear. Be open-minded and nonjudgmental.
94) Don't use bad language and dishonor your Creator, Giver of Sobriety, God.
95) If the rest of the world looks bad, check yourself out first.
96) Show gratitude for your clean and sober time.
97) When times get tough.....go to tons of meetings and share!
98) Remember you can cut down any fear, into half or none, by discussing it with another individual.
99) Try to manage your money, budget yourself.
100) Look for those LIVING the 12 steps, not just talking them. 


Quellenangabe

u.a.: Joe Dallas (go and get his books!)

 


“To be pure, to remain pure, can only come at a price, the price of knowing God and loving him enough to do his will. He will always give us the strength we need to keep purity as something beautiful for God. Purity is the fruit of prayer.”

Blessed Mother Teresa


Beitrag von Pure Passion.

Will He?

Is this the day that the Lord may come calling home His own? Are you prepared? Are you ready for Him to come calling? Will He find you wanting? Will He find you with your fingers sliding through porn on the Internet, your mind wandering in fantasies, your hands in inappropriate places? Will He find you un-prepared for His coming? Will you be ashamed to be seen by Him coming through your door?

Will He find you with your heart prepared to receive Him? Will He?

Andre

 

My Prayers for You

(An Email to A Christian Online-Support Group)


If I were to have but only one breath left in my life knowingly, I believe I would not ask and pray to God for another for myself. But I would pray and ask that He would allow me but a few more breaths to reach out and plead for you my brothers to look to Him with all of your heart, with all of your soul, seeking, searching for Him, to fill you full of the Holy Spirit. That in doing so, you would find the maker of your life, and turn to Him, fully, seeking and desiring the milk of Life, His son Jesus Christ. I would plead that He would give you but a few more breaths so that in that short time, you might repent of your sinful ways, as I have pleaded and prayed for myself many a time.
I have prayed many a time to take the place of some of you, and be condemned to hell rather than seeing you to fall into the pits. I am not worthy of such a task, but if God would but allow it , I would for you. Such is my love for the lost. I am but a servant of His, yet, weak and lowly, a sinner such as you. I do not seek gratitude for my love for others. But what I seek, is what God Himself seeks in others., He wants you to humble yourself and admit, that you are a sinner as I am, in need of a Savior. He want you to surrender all to Him, all your love, all your sins, all your weaknesses, all your cares, all your worries. None of us can carry these burdens alone. We need Him.

If I could, I believe I would hang on the cross for you. And yet I know, I cannot. For only a righteous Lamb as Jesus can accomplish and do that feat. But if I could I would try for you.

I cry many a tear for you all believe or not. I anguish that some are only here for a time and will fall away, as we have seen many a time. And yet we have some, who come as lowly children, who come and believe, and grasp the promises of God, and are transformed into His image. For some it is a quick transformation, for others, it is much slower, not because of their own lack of will, but because of the will of God for His own reason for which we may never understand on this side of eternity. Never-the- less, it is not for us to question why, but to accept and do our best to live for Him.

Until He takes us home to be with Him, I will continue to pray for you all , that he will keep you and hold you and mold you to be the man you were made to be. And until He comes I will plead for you all, and if I can, I will step in to hell for you, if it would be His will.

your other brother from another mother

 
 
Beitrag von Homosexuals Anonymous.
Beitrag von Fight the New Drug.

Douglas McIntyre, Co-Founder of HA

Hinweis fuer Priester und Ordensangehoerige sowie Mitarbeiter in pastoralen Diensten:

Sie dürfen sich jederzeit - auf Wunsch auch anonym - an uns wenden. Sämtliche Anfragen werden vertraulich behandelt.

Kontakt-Telefonnummer: 089-78018960

Kontakt-Email: free32@gmx.de

Wir freuen uns auf Sie!


The 14 Steps

1. We admitted that we were powerless over our homosexuality and that our emotional lives were unmanageable.

2. We came to believe the love of God, who forgave us and accepted us in spite of all that we are and have done.

3. We learned to see purpose in our suffering, that our failed lives were under God's control, who is able to bring good out of trouble.

4. We came to believe that God had already broken the power of homosexuality and that He could therefore restore our true personhood.

5. We came to perceive that we had accepted a lie about ourselves, an illusion that had trapped us in a false identity.

6. We learned to claim our true reality that as humankind, we are part of God's heterosexual creation and that God calls us to rediscover that identity in Him through Jesus Christ, as our faith perceives Him.

7. We resolved to entrust our lives to our loving God and to live by faith, praising Him for our new unseen identity, confident that it would become visible to us in God's good time.

8. As forgiven people free from condemnation, we made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves, determined to root out fear, hidden hostility, and contempt for the world.

9. We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs and humbly asked God to remove our defects of character.

10. We willingly made direct amends wherever wise and possible to all people we had harmed.

11. We determined to live no longer in fear of the world, believing that God's victorious control turns all that is against us into our favor, bringing advantage out of sorrow and order from disaster.

12. We determined to mature in our relationships with men and women, learning the meaning of a partnership of equals, seeking neither dominance over people nor servile dependency on them.

13. We sought through confident praying, and the wisdom of Scripture for an ongoing growth in our relationship with God and a humble acceptance of His guidance for our lives.

14. Having had a spiritual awakening, we tried to carry this message to homosexual people with a love that demands nothing and to practice these steps in all our lives' activities, as far as lies within us.

While the Homosexuals Anonymous Fellowship was inspired by the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, they are not really an adaptation. Rather, they were created specifically for this Fellowship, and should not be construed otherwise. AA, which is a program concerned only with recovery from alcoholism, and is not in any way affiliated with this Fellowship.

Homosexuals Anonymous

Beitrag von Homosexuals Anonymous.
Beitrag von Jason and Crystalina Evert.
Beitrag von Catholic Answers.
Beitrag von Homosexuals Anonymous.
Beitrag von Joe Dallas.
Beitrag von Pure Passion.
Beitrag von Catholic and Proud.

Arthur Goldberg

Beitrag von Fight the New Drug.
Beitrag von Freedom from Porn.

Homosexuals Anonymous

Homosexuals Anonymous Fellowship Services

www.homosexuals-anonymous.com

USA

Homosexuals Anonymous is an international organization dedicated to serving the recovery needs of men and women who struggle with unwanted same sex attraction.

This fellowship of men and women, who through their common spiritual, intellectual and emotional experiences have chosen to help each other live in freedom from homosexuality.

Welcome to our website

If you are a person who struggles with unwanted same sex attraction, you are not alone Homosexuals Anonymous and many other related ministries, counselors and therapists provide valuable resources that can be of great use to you.

Remember always that while no one chooses to have same sex attraction, many do choose to diminish and eliminate those feelings of attraction. All people have the right to self determination, the right to choose for themselves the aspects that comprise their identity. Through HA, you will meet many people who see their identity as being rooted in their faith and not in their unwanted desires and behaviors.

If you are a parent, relative or friend of someone who struggles with unwanted same sex attraction, you can find helpful resources they will appreciate.

If you are a parent, friend or relative of someone who embraces and lives a gay lifestyle, you can find support, encouragement and hope in the material you will find available to you in website. If you are interested in online support groups or forming a local parents support group, please contact us and let us know how we can serve you.

If you are a minister, counselor or therapist looking for a support group and other resources to serve the needs of a counselee wanting freedom from homosexuality, then please read through our website. In your exploration you will learn who we are and how we can help you.

Beitrag von Demo für Alle.

Seek Me!

Jeremiah 29:13

King James Version (KJV)

"And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart."

 

theWord Bible Software

I Have Decided to Follow Jesus

"I have decided to follow Jesus. Though no one joins me, still I will follow."

Assam, north-east India, who held on to Jesus when being told to recounce his faith by the village chief. His wife was killed and Assam as well - while he was singing these words: "The cross before me, the world behind me." His strong faith kept on shining: The village chief and others in the village converted afterwards. (see: Wikipedia)

Freedom from SSA


Guys,


there are many professionals who are able to scientifically explain to you how to find freedom from same-sex attractions.

I am a simple man so I will try to tell you in simple terms.


Imagine a father who wants to teach his son how to ride a bike. He will not give him a lesson on the functioning of each single part, where it came from and what it is made of. Nor will he lecture on how the human body works and how the mind coordinates things. He loves his sonny and wants him to be able to ride that bike on his own.


Of course, he could let him continue to ride with additional wheels, but this is not what the father wants. Daddy knows that his son will likely fall a couple of times. There will be tears and some pain as well. But as a loving father he buys his son a bike and takes him out to teach him how to ride.

Now the son does not expect a big lesson or a manual to start with. Yes, he might be somewhat scared as he does not know what to expect and how to handle this bike without additional wheels that keep it stable. But he knows that he can fully trust his father. He loves his daddy more than anything - and daddy loves him. So he takes a courageous first step and lets daddy show him how to do it.

Daddy will fist be there all the time to hold his son while he rides. However, step by step he will let him run a little bit on his own.


Sonny will ride this first bits all shaky and insecure, but then again he trusts his daddy, so he manages to do it - sort of.

Sometimes he will fall and have his knee scratched. Tears will roll down his cheek, but daddy will hold him im his arms and encourage him to take another effort.

Day by day little sonny will drive a little longer all by himself, until he finally manages to ride that bike completely alone. Daddy will be so proud of his son and his son will come running into his arms, thanking his beloved daddy for keeping his promise to be there all the time when things were getting rough on him. Daddy told him that he will ride that bike and all his little son had to do is to trust him just enough that he goes for it.

Sometimes all that keeps us from succeeding is the lack of belief that it can be done.


Rob


Love is More

Kathwahrheit.de: Sexualität

 

Porno / Sexsucht etc.:

Berichte über Aussteiger http://www.loveismore.de/stories.php und Videos http://www.loveismore.de/videos.php

Online Workshop http://www.porno-ausweg.de

Forum zum Austausch http://www.loveismore.de/forum/index.php

Tipps http://www.loveismore.de/tipps.php

Buchempfehlung “Mein Weg zur Heilung – Eine Biographie” von Mike Genung: http://www.loveismore.de/buch.php (weiter unten Auszug aus dem Buch)

Schutzsoftware:http://www.internetsafety.com/affiliate/default.php?id=980

Therapeuten/Seelsorger: http://www.loveismore.de/hilfe.php

Selbsthilfegruppe besuchen oder starten: http://www.shg-pornographieabhaengigkeit.de (.ch .at) bzw. http://www.slaa.de bzw. http://www.anonyme-sexsuechtige.de/

Die traurige Wahrheit hinter dem Pornodreh: http://www.nacktetatsachen.at (.ch)

 

Indirekt Betroffene (Partner):


Audio Auszug aus dem Buch „Mein Weg zur Heilung – Eine Biographie“ http://www.loveismore.de/audio/frauen.mp3 (Auszug weiter unten)
Berichte von indirekt Betroffenen http://www.loveismore.de/familie.php
Forum für Partner: http://www.loveismore.de/forum/forum9/
Videos: http://www.loveismore.de/videos.php

 


Audio Berichte (nur Englisch):


http://www.urbanministry.org/audio/download/15486/6-23-07wifepanel.mp3

http://www.urbanministry.org/audio/download/15481/6-16-07wifepanel.mp3

http://www.urbanministry.org/audio/download/15449/12-9-06genung.mp3

http://www.urbanministry.org/audio/download/15444/12-2-06miller.mp3

http://www.urbanministry.org/audio/download/15438/11-25-06couples.mp3

http://www.urbanministry.org/audio/download/15436/11-18-06couples.mp3

http://www.urbanministry.org/audio/download/15465/4-15-06Crosse2.mp3

http://www.urbanministry.org/audio/download/15471/4-8-06Crosse1.mp3

http://www.urbanministry.org/audio/download/15455/3-11-06+wives+panel+2.mp3

http://www.urbanministry.org/audio/download/15462/3-4-06+wives+panel+1.mp3

 

Therapeuten/Seelsorger:

http://www.loveismore.de/hilfe.php


 

Allgemeine Information zum Thema:


Statistiken: http://www.nacktetatsachen.at (.ch) http://www.loveismore.de (.at .ch)


Seminar-Anfragen: http://www.loveismore.de/seminare.php

Professionelle Hilfe: http://www.weisses-kreuz.de

Buch: Ausweg aus der Pornographie: Eine Biographie „Mein Weg zur Heilung – Eine Biographie“ http://www.loveismore.de/buch.php

Nacktetatsachen auf English: http://www.nakedfacts.co.uk

 

Artikel:

kath.net: Studie: Pornographiekonsum fördert sexuelle Belästigung

Beitrag von Fight the New Drug.
Beitrag von Homosexuals Anonymous.

PorNoMore.com: http://www.pornnomore.com/

Pure Passion

The Purity Project


Hookers for Jesus "is an international, faith-based organization that is committed to abolishing modern day slavery--the realities of human sex trafficking, sexual violence, and exploitation linked to pornography and the commercial sex industry". (taken from their homepage. We highly recommend it!)


Pornografie Statistiken

WarOnPorn.org


Help for Women Addicted to Pornography:

http://dirtygirlsministries.com/
http://xxxchurch.com/
http://combatingpornography.org/cp/eng/
http://powertochange.com/blogposts/2010/05/06/women-addicted-to-porn/
http://www.sexaa.org/ForWomen/


 

Pink Cross Foundation

The Porn Effect

Institute for Marital Healing

A Letter on Homosexual Pornography - excerpted from "The Treatment of Sexual Orientation". Written By: Dror Zandman, Clinical Psychologist


Overcoming Gay Pornography in Reparative Therapy: Identifying the three underlying needs. By Joseph Nicolosi, Ph.D.: http://narth.com/2013/01/overcoming-gay-pornography-in-reparative-therapy/#more-2963

 

Beitrag von Freedom from Porn.

Beitrag von Fight the New Drug.
Beitrag von Freedom from Porn.
Beitrag von Fight the New Drug.