Jason International

Christian Self-Support Organization and Christian Counseling Service for Gays and Ex-Gays


Auch Pädophile sind Menschen - und keineswegs Menschen zweiter Klasse.

Wir sollten sie ebenfalls mit offenen Armen willkommen heißen und ihnen dieselbe bedingungslose Liebe anbieten, mit der uns Jesus liebt, wenn sie bereuen und zurück zum Herrn wollen.

Jesus hat ihnen dann vergeben - wer sind wir, dass wir uns über Ihn stellen?

Es gibt keine "besseren" oder "schlechteren" Christen. Wir alle sind Sünder vor dem Herrn. Je mehr wir uns dessen bewusst sind, desto mehr versuchen wir, anderen Menschen, die gefallen sind, wieder auf zu helfen.

Es steht uns nicht zu, zu urteilen. Das kann nur Gott alleine.

Pädophilie ist eine schlimme Sache, kein Zweifel, und wir sollten alles tun, um unsere Kinder davor zu bewahren sowie den Opfern beizustehen. Aber auch Pädophile warten darauf, dass wir ihnen unsere helfende und liebende Hand anbieten und ihnen dabei helfen, ihr gebrochenes Verhältnis zu Gott wieder herzustellen und somit ihr Leben neu zu strukturieren. Hiermit helfen wir auch den - potentiellen oder tatsächlichen - Opfern pädophiler Missbräuche.

Nichts anderes würde Jesus von uns wollen.

Jesus hat zu Seiner Zeit immer die Gesellschaft von Sündern gesucht. Von Menschen, die damals als der totale Abschaum galten: Prostituierte, Zöllner usw.

Former gay man: "I lived most of my life sexually assaulting kids and never went to jail."

Posted by Church Militant on Freitag, 15. Januar 2016
"Why Does the World Not Want to Face the Pain of Child Abuse and SSA?"
Written By: John Stephen W. of London, U.K
(Posted March 2014)

To Whom It May Concern:
A legal opinion rendered on January 27, 2014, by a United Kingdom Court of Appeal (Civil Division) profoundly spoke to a form of discrimination that I suffered during most of my life. The Court said, "Discrimination against a person because of his or her past actual or perceived sexual orientation, or because his or her sexual orientation has changed [from gay to straight, something most people in my life would not understand] is discrimination "because of ....sexual orientation." My personal testimony below will show how inappropriate it is to box someone like myself into a gay identity, after all, change of sexual orientation is entirely possible and I am living proof of that fact.
I experienced what is called "unwanted same sex sexual attraction" (SSA) at the age of 10, when puberty began for me. Given the fact that I was sexually abused by my Father prior to that time, it is revealing that my first wet dream and several others thereafter were of my Father. His sexual abuse began at about age 3 (possibly earlier) and continued until I was 7 1/2 years old. All of this occurred while I lived in Toronto. After we moved to the U.K., I blocked out the sexual activity with my Dad in Canada, and I recall only a few suggestive acts with him in the UK.
My mother was constantly depressed and anxious. My father, on the other hand, was emotionally controlling and abusive. I always felt alone because of the interactions within my extremely emotionally dysfunctional family of origin. I also felt alone because my father would not permit me to have friends. Indeed, during childhood, I was unable to talk with anyone about my feelings. Throughout my childhood, I had no positive male attention, apart from some occasional attention from teachers.
I began to deal with my traumatic childhood only after leaving home at age 21. However, my Grandmother died when I was 24 and this event added considerably to my difficulties in life. Why? Because my Father behaved himself whenever she stayed with us and thus she was the only adult I felt safe with. Her death was therefore very traumatic for me. After her death, I began to have intense and frequent flashbacks of sexual activity with my Dad. I began to lose time and a sense of reality. I thought I was going mad.
Eventually I began to tell people. I told both my Mom and brother. Their responses were markedly different. My Mom was shocked and felt guilty she didn't know what had happened (she was too traumatised by my Dad to notice much). My brother’s response was “I wonder if it happened to me too”. He is emotionally shut down and commented that if it did happen to him, it was likely too late for him to deal with it.
When I told my Aunt in the UK, she informed me about the significant physical, emotional and sexual abuse in my father’s family. She confirmed I was not going mad.
My Aunt in Toronto initially believed me and informed me how my Father tried to have sex with her when she was 17. When I wanted her to publicly support me and speak of her own abuse by my Father, she reneged on her support. She began to belittle my memories, and denied them by suggesting that I was simply confused about my own sexuality. She proceeded to tell my cousins and their husbands that I was ‘gay’, thinking that this would ‘help’ me. In reality, it made my pain and sense of rejection worse as I was labelled 'gay' at secondary school by other boys and some teachers because I didn't fit their perception of what 'straight' meant. The discrimination against me became very real.
After confronting my Dad about the abuse he inflicted upon me, he died 3 days later. Thereafter, whether out of misplaced guilt or some other feeling, I shut down completely. Nevertheless, I was haunted by flashback memories, but without feelings, as if I was a dispassionate witness and was not really there. One vivid flashback I had was of him threatening me during the time we lived in Canada. He made it clear that I was not to tell anyone. After all, he said, did I want my brother and I to be put in foster care and see Mommy and Daddy put into prison? During this period of time (1990 to about 2004), I continue to attempt to block out all unpleasant thoughts of my abuse. Of course, I did not progress in my healing in any meaningful way during this time. In an effort to gain assistance, I sought help from the UK’s National Health System (NHS) but recognized that not only could they not help me, but, in fact, had made things worse for me by medicating me and by providing "gay affirmative" counseling.
I was always told by my Aunt in Toronto who first "outed" me to family members, and by therapists of the NHS, and the few friends I told at college about my confused sexuality, that my problems were because I hadn't ‘come out of the closet’ and accept that I was ‘gay’. The conflict between my innermost feelings and messages from the above sources grew intense. Thus, I ended up languishing in the mental health system. They betrayed me by not listening to me and my INNERMOST feelings. Their advice and counsel was simple: I‘ll be OK once I was ‘honest‘ about being ‘gay‘. However, honesty was the last thing they wanted. They didn't want honesty any more than my family wanted honesty. They just wanted another box to fit me in, as they didn’t see me fitting into the ‘straight’ box. This pattern of discrimination because of an assumed sexual orientation clouded my existence and my ability to be the real me.
All through this period of time, I could not find a therapist who would listen to me and help me overcome my sexual feelings for men. However, I noticed a particularly curious thing during this period. Whenever I felt negative about myself and rejected by others, especially if the rejection was by other males, my sexual feelings for men increased. However, whenever I felt somewhat good about myself or affirmed by men, especially by peers and those I perceived to have a strong personality or to be in authority, then I felt more sexual feelings for women and the sexual charges I had for men disappeared. Also my sexual attraction to women would not last long because I perceived that people would consider such an attitude as 'sexually aggressive.' No one at that time could explain this phenomena to me.
It was only when I reached 40 (it was 2004) that I finally received some encouragement to fight to help myself. This help came from a Swiss Jewish friend who himself had been physically/emotionally abused in childhood and had received holistic help to overcome such abuse in his early 20’s. That was a turning point in my life. I have been fighting ever since to find the same kind of help and to allow the inner child within me to be protected by the adult me. My inner child had been trapped and unable to express himself ever since the sexual abuse began when I was 3, or possibly earlier.
During my late 30s, before meeting my Swiss friend, I had contemplated getting married to a woman who herself was a sexual abuse survivor and who also suffered with sexual attraction to her own sex. I had sexual attraction to her, and she for me, but she used our relationship to blame me for her pain, rather than face her own inner pain and truth. So we broke up. The experience however taught me how I had to fight to first recognize my own inner truth and only after doing so would I be able to find another soul with whom I could connect in marriage.
To assist me in my healing, I went to a Men’s Sexual Abuse Survivors Group Workshop. The facilitators asked us to identify either as homosexual or heterosexual. Of the 18 men present, only one other man and I said our feelings changed depending on how we felt about ourselves; that we have feelings for men most of the time because we felt un-affirmed by males. He also acknowledged the curious situation I discovered earlier in my life: Whenever we felt affirmed by men or generally felt better about ourselves, that was when we had feelings for women. In further discussion with him, we both found something else in common. Our respective mothers used us as surrogate husbands; they unloaded their emotional baggage on us. Moreover, both of us had also been ‘stuck’ in the mental health system. Unfortunately, he still was. Ultimately, he found he couldn't cope with the Survivors Group and stopped coming.
Another member of the group I got to know who identified as ‘straight’ admitted to me privately that he had sexual feelings for men, but was afraid of them, while another guy who identified as ‘gay’ admitted to me in private the opposite: he had feelings for women, but was afraid of them. Unfortunately, the Sexual Abuse Survivors Group refused to deal with these confusions. We either had to be "gay" or "straight" and they said it was impossible to change from one to the other and 'homophobic' to say it is possible. I wish the UK Appellate Court referred to in my first paragraph would have spoken years earlier so perhaps this black and white discriminatory characterization would not have been present.
After my Mom died in 2007, my brother and his wife began to emotionally abuse me. So after dividing our Mom’s estate, I chose to lose contact first with the extended family who wanted to box me in as "gay" and then separated from my brother. I haven’t seen him since 2010 and I have not spoken to him since 2012. I believed this separation was beneficial as I found myself capable of exercising my free will and for the first time to choose who I wanted to be with or didn't want to be with. I started moving from a perception that I was stuck as a "gay" identified man and would be unable to experience feelings, behavior, and identify as a "straight" man to actually believe I could feel comfortable as a man with men of all kinds and some one who can relate to women as potential sexual partners and to one woman as a spouse.
Still seeking a path to healing, I found a charity based in London that provides affordable therapy for survivors of childhood sexual abuse. Initially I was assigned to a woman but found I couldn't talk with her about sexual stuff. Therefore, the charity reassigned me to a male therapist who is older than me. I was able to inform him about my feelings concerning my various sexual experiences, whether they were with women or men. Given my past experience with counselors who felt that sexuality was immutable and unchangeable, I asked him in a most direct manor 2 critical questions for me: was he taught and did he believe that one's focus and sexual feelings are immutable and unchangeable? While he admitted that was how he was taught, he indicated his openness to learning differently from his clients. I felt a magical release because of his attitude and finally began to feel safe to reveal my most hidden secrets about myself and others in my life while affirmatively working to change (in the words of the Court of Appeal) my 'actual or perceived sexual orientation.'
Over the last few months I have, at last, been more honest with myself. My therapist encouraged me to go with my feelings as to what helps me and to get in touch with the feelings trapped by my childhood. With regard to the sexual feelings, he encourages me to let the feelings pass without judgement in order to see how significant they really are. The cumulative effect of all this has been that I have begun to re-experience the flashbacks I had before my Dad died, but now with FEELINGS; I was no longer simply a dispassionate witness. This included the strong urges I had as a kid to perform sexual things with other adult men just like I experienced with my Dad. I realized that my experiences set me up to believe that sex was the method by which love between men ought to be expressed rather than expressed in an authentic non-sexual method of healthy bonding. As a result, I have gradually been diminishing the desire to act out SSA feelings or even to experience such feelings. My feelings for connection with other men are transforming into healthy non-sexual desires to simply relate to them as friends.
I often watch movies in order to connect with others in similar situations as there is no group or individuals in London for me to connect with emotionally, only a Survivors Group in which I feel reluctant to talk about my intimate sexual feelings because in this particular group there are only women present and the prevailing attitude is that so-called "ex-gays" do not exist.
I often use DVD's that deal with traumas of different kinds and then journal or think through how I feel about what I watched. The last one I watched was of two 17 year-olds in Australia who find they have a sexual attraction for each other whilst working on a school project together. They both come from broken homes, one has an aggressive alcoholic Dad and the other has an emotionally detached Dad who divorced his Mom after his older brother died at 10. Unexpectedly this video reminded me of the loss I felt when I came to the UK at around 7 and when my older brother was 10. After the boy with the alcoholic Dad kills himself because his Dad found out about the sexual nature of the relationship with his friend, I began to grieve the loss I felt at losing the childhood relationship with my brother. I began to feel desperate to reconnect with him. I also remembered feeling lost as to how to connect with other children in general, but particularly boys. I always had girls at school who wanted to be with me. While it was comforting to have friends who were girls, I realized how much I also resented it because it deprived me of what I needed most: male companionship.
In 2008 I learned of JONAH and began connecting with them, first online and later in person. They became a lifeline for me. I was initially afraid of being too involved but I recognized from the information on their website and from their online support group several things that were clearly true for me. This trust factor enabled me to start dealing more directly with my difficulties in life. At their urging, I went to a JiM (Journey Into Manhood) weekend in England. The JiM weekend gave me a space to be with other men who felt similarly and also didn't want their feelings put into a box. I realized there was a world of men like me: people who were pushed into identifying as gay even though our personal and/or religious belief system as to the life we wanted differed. There were different processes in which I participated. Some helped, others didn't. The ones that most helped me were experiential in nature. I used props to act out various scenes from my life and in turn gain a greater understanding about them. Also, I let go of some repressed anger when I was able to hit a punching bag with a bat. I also learned how to "clear" feelings of envy that I was experiencing for another guy in the group, which in turn I had sexualised. After doing this process, the sexualisation was no longer there. Other helpful experiences involved my ability to shout and thus express some of my feelings of anger and lost connections to my Dad and brother.
I believe I need to do more of this kind of work, but I can't afford it at the present. Because of the continuing problems with my brother and his wife, I was forced to move and I lost my job. In spite of this adversity, I continue to fight to connect with my feelings and to work through the feelings that I internalized as a kid.
Over the last few years I found two guys who became my friends and confidants. They let me stay or invite me round socially at their family home when I despair of coping with life on my own, and now I feel equal to them and can look forward to socializing with them and others without my issues being the focus. Both families are very emotionally expressive and their openness to emotions helps me to express my own feelings without fear. As I mentioned earlier, I have gradually begun to have much less desire to act out SSA feelings and more feelings of “I like him or her, perhaps we can be friends”. In other words, even though I am nearly 50, I have finally begun to re-parent myself and to take responsibility for my feelings and in the process to grow out of my former compulsive behavior. I have also learned self care, accepting and properly interpreting my basic needs which were ignored as a kid.
I now feel a lot more hope for the future than I have ever felt in my life, including a belief that I am worthy and that I deserve to have male friends with whom I can connect in a healthy non-sexual relationship of mutual love and respect. Also, I am optimistic that I am in a position to find a wife who can be my partner in life and may also provide the ultimate in friendship and companionship. Finally, I look to pass onto future generations the knowledge that change of sexual orientation is possible and to be both a mentor and an example to so many others who have encountered the kind of discrimination that I have.
I have moved on from society’s labels of “gay” or “straight” and the mental health establishment’s label of “Bipolar.” My former mood swings and compulsive thoughts and behavior are becoming a thing of the past. I am a far more stable person because I am able to process my feelings better. A key aspect of this ability to focus better comes from being able to live in the present, rather than living either in the past or in the future.
Without organisations like JONAH, I wouldn't have known that others feel the same way as I do about SSA. I would have continued to exist isolated and alone. Learning from them that the Hebrew word "to'eviah" in the Torah (Leviticus 18:22 concerning sexual relations with other men), is explained in the Talmud as meaning one is ‘led astray’ (rather than abomination) truly resonates with me. I felt 'led astray' for the better part of my life as I was boxed into an identity as 'gay.' This is not to condemn other people with homosexual feelings or behaviour and who may not feel led astray. For those who identify themselves as "gay", I am not here to judge them nor to accept nor love them any less. On the other hand, why can’t those who so identify, and society in general, accept my journey and let me get support? Perhaps the new decision of the British Court of Appeals may provide me and people like me with the recognition we have craved for so long, that is, to recognize that change of sexual orientation is possible and to allow us to live our lives consistent with our own personal and religious value structure.


Holen wir mal etwas weiter aus:

Einer der größten Erfolge bezüglich der gesellschaftlichen Anerkennung von Homosexualität war es, als die American Psychiatrist Association Homosexualität von ihrer Liste der Störungen herunter nahm. Wie haben Unterstützer dieser Entscheidung argumentiert? Hier eine Zusammenfassung:

- Homosexualität ist nur für die ein Problem, die dadurch in Stresssituationen geraten ("distressed").
(Therapie hier solle dann nur die dahinter liegende psychische Störung - also etwa eine Angstreaktion oder Depression betreffen).

- Die negative und von Vorurteilen geprägte Einstellung der Gesellschaft hinsichtlich Homosexualität verursacht Homosexuellen mehr Probleme als ihre Sexualität selbst.

- Homosexuelle sind keineswegs weniger emotional stabil als Heterosexuelle.
(Sie würden keine nennenswerten Zeichen einer Pathologie zeigen).

- Homosexuelle Beziehungen können gesund sein ("healthy and affirming").

So weit, so gut.

Pädophile warteten aber schon hinter dem Vorhang...

Heute hören wir dieselben Argumente von "Experten", die Pädophilie verteidigen wie vor 30 Jahren von Seiten derer, die Homosexualität verteidigten. Vergleiche selbst:

- Pädophilie ist nur für die ein Problem, die dadurch in Stresssituationen geraten ("distressed").
(Gemäß dem neuen DSMIV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the American Psychiatrist Association) soll bei einem Pädophilen NUR eine Diagnose erstellt werden ("diagnosable condition"), wenn er sich schlecht bei dem fühlt, was er tut oder wenn er dadurch in Angstsituationen kommt ("anxious").

- Die negative und von Vorurteilen geprägte Einstellung der Gesellschaft hinsichtlich Pädophilie verursacht Pädophilen mehr Probleme als ihre Sexualität selbst.

- Pädophile sind keineswegs weniger emotional stabil als Nicht-Pädophile.

- Sexuelle Beziehungen zwischen Kindern und Erwachsenen können gesund sein ("healthy and affirming").

(Dies sind wie gesagt nicht unsere Argumente, sondern eine Auswahl von Argumenten von Menschen, die Pädophilie gutheißen und deren Tenor doch sehr an die Ursprünge der Schwulenbewegung erinnert. Wir möchten auch keineswegs Pädophilie mit Homosexualität vergleichen, sondern vielmehr aufzeigen, wohin eine bestimmte Argumentation führen kann, wenn man sie einmal widerspruchslos akzeptiert).
Wir haben viel zu lange selbsternannten "Experten" geglaubt, wenn es darum ging, für uns selbst zu bestimmen, was moralisch gut und richtig ist - und was nicht.

Als Christinnen und Christen glauben wir, dass Gott uns mit der Bibel einen Leitfaden gegeben hat, der als Maßstab für unser Handeln und Denken ausreicht.

(Empfohlene Literatur: "The Gay Gospel" by Joe Dallas)

Warum überhaupt eine Seite über Pädophilie?

Zu Anfang sollte eines klar gestellt werden: Homosexuelle und Pädophilie sind nicht in einem Atemzug zu nennen. Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen haben keinesfalls automatisch auch pädophile Neigungen. Dies kann der Fall sein, ist es aber in der Regel nicht. Es gibt ja schließlich auch genügend heterosexuelle Pädophile.

Wo ist also der Zusammenhang? Nun, es ist nicht von der Hand zu weisen, dass Pädophile weltweit auf dem Vormarsch sind. Mit ähnlichen Argumenten, mit denen vor vielen Jahren auch die Schwulenbewegung aufbegehrt hat: es wird ein Ende der Diskriminierung gefordert, es gäbe neue wissenschaftliche Hinweise, dass Sex mit Kindern nicht zwangsweise schädlich für diese sei, wenn die Kinder bzw. die Eltern zustimmen, wäre doch nichts dagegen zu sagen, es gäbe Hinweise, dass Pädophilie angeboren sei, Pädophile können nicht einfach ihre sexuelle Orientierung ändern usw. Und ähnlich wie vor Jahren die Schwulenbewegung wir hier konsequent auf mehreren Gebieten gearbeitet: es werden Wissenschaftler zitiert oder gar auf die eigene Seite gezogen, ebenso wird die Politik und andere Bereiche der Gesellschaft angegangen.

Viele Homosexuelle würden dies strikt ablehnen - und das mit gutem Grund.

Hat man aber derartigen Argumenten einmal Tür und Tor geöffnet, so ist es schwer, diese wieder zu schließen. Und was kommt dann nach Pädophilen? Wo zieht man hier die Grenze? Warum sollten andere Gruppen nicht mit ähnlichen Argumenten kommen? Wer definiert eigentlich noch, was moralisch gut, richtig und akzeptabel ist, wenn jeder hier eigene Maßstäbe anlegen kann?

Wenn man mit Feuer spielt, kann es leicht passieren, dass es außer Kontrolle gerät. Auch wenn man anfangs die besten Absichten gehabt haben mag, kann dadurch - ohne dass dies vielleicht jemals von irgend jemand gewollt wurde - eine Lawine werden, die nur mehr schwer zu bremsen ist.

How Can You Compare Homosexuality with Alcoholism or Pedophilia?

First: There is no thing as “homosexuality”. Some people do have same-sex attractions – for whatever reason! – but, that does not give them an extra identity nor special rights.

Second: If you are so secure and stable in “being gay” or in supporting people who self-identify as such, why do you have a problem with that? Usually people who compare same-sex attractions to alcoholism or pedophilia do not do that to put people down, but to point out the absurdity of certain arguments if you pick up their logic and show the results thereof.

Some examples:

If you argue that it is alright if two consenting adults have sex, why stop at two people of the same sex? Why not two brothers (or sisters)? Why not an adult and a minor if the parents agree? Why limit it to a species? Why does it even have to be a living object? And if you say all these examples are nonsense, based on what do you think so?

If love is all that matters, you could just as well bring up the examples mentioned above. Or enlarge the sum of the elements: Why limit it to two people? Why to people of the same species? And on and on. You think that is discriminating? Based on what? All I try to do is show you where that kind of logic might lead you to. Once the door is open, it will be close to being impossible to shut it again.

Over and over we hear that “being gay” is okay and even “natural” because people are born that way. Aside the fact that so far there is not the slightest prove for that claim, let’s just say – for the sake of the argument – that this is correct. Now many other things are or could be traced back to one or more genes that – along with environmental factors – make it easier for people to act that way. So what? To my knowledge certain forms of criminal behavior or alcoholism can have genetic causes as well. Does that make it “morally acceptable” or even “natural” to become alcoholic or to commit crimes? How about if they find a “pedophile gene” tomorrow? Would that make it alright if adults have sex with children? Would it be “pedophobia” to say no? Fact is that a single gene – or even a combination of genes – is not enough per se to “make you something”. A lot of other factors – like environmental ones – have to contribute to that as well. Other than that epigenetics has taught us meanwhile that along with the environment it is our thinking and acting pattern that can decide whether or not certain genes start “working” and to what degree. It also works the other way around: The way we think and act changes our brain synapses that connect the neurons and transmit signals in the brain – and with them the structure of the brain itself, to a point where even genes are influenced (like whether or not they are being activated or even built – or if new genes come into existence that can be passed on to the next generation then).

Sometimes we are being told that all we do is cause people with unwanted same-sex attractions to have behavioral changes. We do not really “make them straight”. It’s all an attitude in the way they act.

Let’s assume it is like that (and for the record: We do a lot more than that). And let’s pick up the example of an alcoholic to demonstrate how absurd such an argument is: If an alcoholic stops to drink alcohol, he changes his behavior. Is that all? No way. This behavioral change will have major influences on his professional life, his family life, his emotional and spiritual life, his relationships, his physical and mental health and on and on. How much more if you address underlying needs, emotions, hurts, family backgrounds, identity issues, faith questions, etc. like we do it.

So yes, sometimes we use comparisons. Not to “put people with same-sex attractions on the same level as for example alcoholics” (as if being alcoholic were an insult! That would be discriminating as well!), but to demonstrate something. Not so long ago people would have been insulted if someone compared them to “gays”. Understand? We are being called much worse things at times and/or compared or put at the same level with radicals, extremists, maybe even Nazis and what not. And there is no logic explanation to justify that.

So we will keep on using such comparisons at times if it is necessary to clarify things.


Links National



For more useful resources please go to Pure Passion

This is the kind of thinking the gays came up with: You did not choose to have it, it is in the brain - so it has to be normal or at least acceptable.

HA: New Homepage!

Homosexuals Anonymous has a new homepage:


Douglas McIntyre, Co-Founder of HA