Sind "Reparative Therapy" und "Conversion Therapy" dasselbe?
Kurz: Nein. Wie der Name schon angibt, ist das Ziel einer "Conversion Therapy", eine gleichgeschlechtliche Orientierung in eine heterosexuelle Orientierung umzukehren.
Eine "Reparative Therapy" hingegen setzt an vorhandenen heterosexuellen Empfindungen an und hat zum Ziel, diese zu verstärken.
Hinterlassen derartige Therapien nicht lebenslange und irreversible schwere geistige und körperliche Schäden?
Interessant, dass solche Vorwürfe ausgerechnet von schwulen Aktivisten kommen. Ein Blick in die Statistiken des Robert-Koch-Instituts reicht, um festzustellen, welche Folgen das Ausleben von gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen bei vielen Betroffenen hat - in körperlicher, psychischer und spiritueller Hinsicht.
Pauschal lässt sich oben genannte Frage auch nicht beantworten. Gruppen wie Jason International oder Homosexuals Anonymous betreiben keinerlei Therapie, sehen aber durchaus positive Ansätze bei einer "Reparative Therapy". Einer "Conversion Therapy" stehen wir vorsichtig gegenüber.
Wird den Betroffenen bei solchen Therapien nicht erzählt, dass ihre sexuelle Orientierung "falsch" sei? Die werden doch auch beim Ansehen von homosexuellen Videos gefoltert!
Wir können nicht für einzelne Therapeuten sprechen. Kein Therapeut jedoch, der seinen Beruf ernst nimmt, wird seinem Klienten in der Therapie moralische Bewertungen aufzwingen oder gar körperliche Bestrafung ausüben. Derartige Vorgehensweisen lehnen wir ab. Aus unserer Sicht und Erfahrung heraus können wir aber auch sagen, dass uns solche Praktiken noch nie begegnet sind.
Sollten einzelne Therapeuten etwas Derartiges getan haben, wäre es unlauter, einen ganzen Berufsstand damit verunglimpfen zu wollen. Es wird auch unter regulären Psychotherapeutinnen und Psychotherapeuten schwarze Schafe geben. Es wäre jedoch verantwortungslos, sämtliche Therapeuten bzw. die Psychotherapie an sich anzuklagen und damit Menschen davon abzuhalten, Hilfe zu suchen und zu erhalten.
Wir befürworten das Recht eines jeden Patienten, selbst ein Therapieziel festzulegen.
Freedom from Same-Sex Attractions
Men and women with unwanted same-sex attractions often meet in local or online groups, seek out therapists and get all those wonderful resources out there. All good and nice. Nothing to be said against that. And yet, you have some who keep on telling you they’ve tried “everything” and “nothing” worked so far. Oh really. After years and years of dealing with those folks that I love with all of my heart, here some points to ponder (or better: kicks in the butt):
- So you’ve tried everything. Did ya. Usually, a closer look reveals that they tried nothing for real. They might show up at one or two meetings, or order a book – and this is it. If you want to succeed, however, you need perseverance and a high stress and frustration tolerance. You need to be able to set yourself a goal and go for it – no matter how long it takes and how hard it will be. If you are not willing to do that, don’t blame it on the group, the people there, the program, the genes, your past, your parents or whomever else then. Your just a quitter looking for lame excuses.
- In many cases, self-pity is both a symptom and part of the cause of same-sex attractions. A baby that does not perceive himself or herself to be loved will start pitying himself/herself in order to get some love this way. A really tragic and sad thing to happen. This will take on till he or she is grown up, if nothing will be done against it. Usually, the individual does not even realize that. Other people start getting ticked off by the constant whining and complaining and think he or she is a wimp or worse. So if you struggle with that and already realized it, do something against it. Stop the whining. Stand up and fight! Learn to love and enjoy life and start working on your masculine/feminine identity. But PLEASE stop the whining! Whining is the easy way out in struggle. You see yourself as the poor and helpless victim. Take responsibility for your own life and act like a man/woman! There is no shame in being scared, but there is if you let your fear overcome you!
- Go for results. General bla-bla won’t get you far. Set yourself big goals (they really can’t be too big!), cut them in little goals and start making plans. Example: Instead of saying, “I will try to become a better person” (which is nothing else but a wishy-washy statement that will never lead to anything!), make your goal measurable and hold yourself accountable: “Until next Friday I will contact the volunteer program in our church and ask if I can join them in building houses for the poor. And I will tell Bill about it.” Like that you have a fix date, a measurable goal and someone that will hold you accountable.
- If you are a follower of Jesus (or Jew, Muslim – whatever), show that your faith is for real. Stop begging God to take “it” away from you – while comfortably leaning back doing nothing and waiting for God to do “His” job. Yes, God is a gracious and loving Father – and much like a worldly father who teaches his little son how to ride a bike, the Lord will teach you: Jesus died for you on the cross so you can be free – so the power of sin is already broken! You ARE free and the only thing that hinders you in realizing that is your lack of belief! As to your recovery in all other realms (like your family history, your emotions, identity questions, possible emotional, verbal, physical or sexual abuse or whatever else), He will teach you how to do it – but you need to trust Him and walk His path! Stop holding yourself back with lame excuses and finally trust Him! Even if bad things should happen, you know then that you are never alone! Let His love overflow you so you will become radiant with this love and joy! If we don’t have something to be joyful about, then who should?
- No man is an island. Neither are you. You grow in and through the company with others – so you should give something back and help others with unwanted same-sex attractions. This means accepting responsibility on a long-term basis. You won’t help anybody when you only show up somewhere when you feel like it. You might be (or feel) “different”. That is not a bad thing in and of itself. Let this “being different” become a blessing for others! Find out about your gifts and talents and use them for God’s glory!
- And last but not least: Get structure and discipline in all areas of your life: sexually, financially, healthwise, emotionally, relationally, socially, spiritually etc. Get yourself motivated each and every day by setting up a structure plan. Start your day by putting on your spiritual armor through prayer and Bible study and then throw yourself into the great and unbelievable adventure called life. Don’t waste it by shying back. Stand up and be the one God called you for! There is no victory in whining and complaining and finding a good excuse to reject all help and remaining a passive victim for good. There is no victory in blaming others for your inability to get your own stuff in order. There is no victory in begging God for what He already gave you, but what you continue to run away from: Complete freedom! What are you so afraid of? That you might really be free someday and be responsible for your own life? That through acting like a man/woman you might finally become one? That you might grow up to become and adult? Get your butt up and learn how to fly!!