|Posted on June 6, 2014 at 3:40 PM|
How many times have we heard those words from people with same-sex attractions – and how many times have we said them ourselves?
We “are” different. Are we?
Think about it – we use that word as if it were a part of our personality or a character trait. Without even thinking about whether this is correct or even healthy.
We might be honest, devoted, persistent, adventurous – all of which are character traits that define our inner selves. But different?
Being different is not something that comes from within us. It is not part of our character. Being different simply says that we are different in relationship to someone else.
If we use that as a personality trait, as a label that characterizes us we might cause a self-fulfilling prophecy: We might become different in the sense of “weird” or “freaky”.
Yes, we are different. Everybody is different! That is not something that defines us though. What we probably mean to say is we never felt part of the gang back then in the days. We never liked to play football with other boys or something like that. Then let’s call it exactly like that: I have never liked to play football. This is a value-free statement and should stay such. If we say we are different that sounds as if there is something wrong with us, as if we are worth less than somebody else.
And there lies the root cause of that statement: Our self-worth and our masculine (or feminine) identity. Both of which, however, can never come from the outside. We are not worth something because of what others think about us, but because we are beloved children of God. That’s where we draw our real value and worth from. And we do not find our masculine identity on the outside (even though the interaction with other men is crucial for the development of it), but only within ourselves – and by looking up to the most perfect picture or manhood: Jesus. We find our true identity in the One in whose image we were created.
That might sound like a minor detail to some and yet it says a lot about what’s going on inside of us. Also the way we talk has an influence on the way we think and act, se we better be careful about we self-identify.
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