Jason International

Christian Ex-Gay Ministry


Frequently Asked Questions - Häufig gestellte Fragen

Du hast vielleicht schon dein ganzes Leben lang gedacht, du bist "anders". Nun glaubst du, du bist so geboren und daran gibt es nichts zu ändern. Schließlich geht es dir "gut" dabei.

Tatsächlich? Gibt es wirklich keine Alternativen?

Tausende von Menschen haben es bereits geschafft, einen anderen Weg zu gehen. Wieso solltest du das nicht auch hinkriegen?

Lass dir nicht erzählen, es gehe schon in Ordnung mit Gott, "homosexuell" zu leben und Christ(in) zu sein. Die Bibel sagt uns ganz klar, dass das Ausleben von gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen (ebenso wie andere Verfehlungen, etwa Ehebruch usw.!) eine Sünde ist - auch wenn viele versuchen, aus einem klaren "nein" ein "ja" zu machen (wenngleich deren Motivation durchaus verständlich und gut sein kann).

Jesus wird dir aber verzeihen, wenn du deine Sünden bereust und dein Leben ändern willst. Es gibt außerdem viele Christinnen und Christen, die dir dabei tatkräftig zur Seite stehen.

Letztendlich ist es auch zweitrangig, warum du so bist, wie du bist. Wichtig ist, dass uns Gott gesagt hat, dies ist eine Sünde. Wenn du also Gott liebst, wirst du so leben, wie Er es von dir verlangt.

Was ist das eigentlich, "Homosexualität"?

Kurz gesagt, die Tatsache, dass sich jemand überwiegend und über einen längeren Zeitraum hinweg in sexueller und/oder emotionaler Hinsicht zum eigenen Geschlecht hingezogen fühlt. Wir bevorzugen aber den Begriff "gleichgeschlechtliche Neigungen". Zum einen ist der Begriff "Homosexualität" (als eigenständige Form der Sexualität) noch gar nicht so alt. In klinischer Hinsicht konzentriert er sich vor allem auf die sexuelle Anziehung, was jedoch zu kurz gegriffen ist, da man hier die emotionale Zuneigung außer Acht lässt. Zum anderen sind wir als Christen der Überzeugung, dass es nur eine Gott-gegebene Form der Sexualität gibt - und das ist die Heterosexualität. Ja, es gibt Menschen, die - aus welchen Gründen auch immer (und seien sie "genetisch") -  gleichgeschlechtlich empfinden, wir sehen dies aber nicht als eine eigenständige Identität, sondern als Teil der Heterosexualität an. Dies bedeutet keine Abwertung von Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen oder eine Minder-Bewertung unseres Empfindens - ganz im Gegenteil. Wir sehen uns als Teil von etwas, das größer ist als wir (Gottes heterosexuelle Schöpfung) und sind weder besser noch schlechter als andere Menschen noch sehen wir uns als etwas Besonderes an und blicken auch nicht auf die herab, die ihre gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen ausleben. Auch konzentriert sich unser Leben nicht auf unser sexuelles und/oder emotionales Empfinden, sondern auf den, dem wir nachfolgen und der uns eine teuer erkaufte Freiheit geschenkt hat, damit auch wir frei sein können: Jesus Christus.


From Homosexuals Anonymous and Jason:

How long has your organization been dealing with conversions?
If you mean to ask how long we’ve been around: Since 1976, which makes us the oldest ministry for those seeking freedom from unwanted same-sex attractions. However, we are not “dealing with conversions”. Our goal is not to make “turn people straight”, but to help them find freedom from same-sex attractions – whatever form that freedom takes on then. Each of our members has different goals for his or her life, and so are the paths they take.

How many people struggling with homosexuality do you deal with each year?
First: We do not believe that there is something like “homosexuality” (a rather new term by the way). God has created all of us heterosexual – or better: men and women. Some of us, however, have predominant and long-lasting same-sex attractions including sexual and emotional attractions to members of the same sex – for whatever reason. To come back to your question: We do not keep record of that. Homosexuals Anonymous and Jason have several chapters around the world for people with unwanted same-sex attractions – local and online. We also counsel family members, pastors, or anybody interested in that subject. We speak at political events, mosques, churches, radio and TV shows and whoever else invites us. Whoever saves one soul, saves the whole world.

What is your success rate with conversions?
Again: Whoever saves one soul, saves the whole world. We do not evaluate success by the numbers nor by any other secular standardized system. Some of us married and founded families, some of us stayed single. God has different callings for each one of His children. Do we believe in freedom from homosexuality? Most certainly so – and the reason some have not found it yet is because they might not really believe it can be done. However, there are most likely thousands around the world who once experienced same-sex attractions and maybe even spent a good part of their lives in the gay scene and now let God change their hearts and turned their ways. Some time ago, a grandfather with same-sex attractions who chose to lead a godly life told me that to a certain degree he still experiences same-sex attractions, but when he takes a look at his wife, children and grandchildren he knows that his choice was right – and so much worth it. You couldn’t pay us a better compliment than that.

How sure are you that these people have been delivered from homosexuality?
There is no blood test you can take to measure if they are free. However, we have lots of testimonies that confirm that there is freedom. We experienced it in ourselves and in the testimonies of many others around the world. All these people have no gain in lying – they are telling the truth, which might scare gay activists because if there is one out there who found freedom of same-sex attractions, they do not have an excuse for themselves anymore. “Freedom” might look differently for the individual – some experience complete freedom, others a substantial decrease in the intensity and/or frequency of their same-sex attractions.

What methods do you use to deliver from homosexuality?
In the course of the last decades we developed and used a great variety of tools that help those who come to us seeking help. First, you have our 14-step program. Part of those steps goes back to the tradition of 12-step groups and was adapted to the special needs of people with unwanted same-sex attractions. The other steps have been developed from the experience and the road to freedom of our two founders: Colin C. and Doug M. We also use techniques and resources by various psychotherapists who worked in this field. Some of us also had a special training in psychotherapy, Christian counseling, or theology. In addition to that, we developed a network with other ministries worldwide to get the best help possible for those who seek out our services. That network provides us with a wide range of programs, recourses and counselors so that the different factors that contributed to the individual development of same-sex attractions can be addressed the best possible way.

Why Is This Child Different From Most Other Children?
Ten Questions & Answers For a Parent of a Homosexual Child

(*NOTE: Deep appreciation to Rabbi Samuel Rosenberg,L.C.S.W., Clinical Director of JONAH, and to my Co-Director, Arthur A. Goldberg, for their help with this article. JONAH, Jews Offering New Alternatives to Homosexuality, can be reached by telephone at 201-433-3444 and on the Internet at www.Jonahweb.org.)

“Gender, that deep sense or essence within us that reflects our
biological sex, is absolutely fundamental to our humanity.”
- Janelle Hallman

OK. You may have always suspected something, but now you know. Your child is self-identified as “gay.” You try to bargain with God, you cry, you rage, you deny – but you can’t run away from the pain that has gripped you ever since your child told you the news.

Why did this happen to your child? In today’s politically correct culture, the “experts” tell us that he/she was born that way, but in your heart and soul you know that isn’t true and that something went wrong in your family. Is it your fault? Is it your child’s fault? Is it anyone’s fault? Bottom line, what can and should you do about the situation?

Every day, anguished Jewish parents (as well as parents in every other societal group) around the globe ask themselves these questions as they go through the torment of learning about their child’s involvement with homosexuality. One of the worst aspects of this family problem is the common advice that parents must accept their child “for who they are” and there is nothing they can do. Even worse is the mistaken notion that reparative/change/reorientation therapy can actually harm their child. Nothing is further from the truth.

Politically astute gay activists have changed the way society views homosexuality in less than four decades. To their credit, gay activists have brought the issues surrounding homosexuality out of the closet. While this is good, the callous myths that homosexuality is inborn, benign, and unchangeable are absolutely false. Homosexual attractions are the result of childhood wounds which arrested a child’s psycho-sexual development. JONAH’s multi-faceted program (outlined below) offers great hope that your child can grow out of homosexuality and into the God-given heterosexuality which was his/her birthright. Please go to the Library Section of JONAH’s web site, Jonahweb.org, for a more complete discussion of this Model:


Healing of the Family System
Jewish Spiritual Development
Masculinity Development & Empowerment
Networking, Support Groups, Daily Internet E-mail Listserve
Overcoming Shame & Narcissism
Receiving Healthy Touch & Affection
Experiential Healing Weekends
Individual Psychotherapy

JONAH is frequently asked these ten common questions. The answers below can help start a parent on the long, difficult, but ultimately rewarding quest of learning why their child feels same-sex attractions and what can be done about changing this painful truth.


ANSWER: The good news is that your child was born, like all children, to develop into a heterosexual; the bad news is that your child suffered emotional wounds in his/her childhood that blocked his/her innate capacity to grow into heterosexuality. The specific issues for each individual will depend on the totality of his/her environment

As Richard Cohen tells us in his book, Coming Out Straight, same-sex attractions (SSA) are symptoms of underlying wounds. They represent an inappropriate response to conflicts in the present, a way to medicate pain and discomfort, unresolved childhood trauma, archaic emotions, frozen feelings, wounds that never healed. They also represent a reparative drive to fulfill unmet homo-emotional love needs of the past – an unconscious drive for greater bonding with the same-sex parent.

Very briefly, homosexuality is not about sex, but is rather an emotionally-based condition consisting of the following three subconscious drives:

Need for greater attachment to the same-sex parent and less attachment to the
opposite sex parent
Need for stronger gender identification
Fear of sexual or emotional intimacy with the opposite sex.


ANSWER: Some of the issues underlying male and female homosexuality are the same, but others are different. Here is an outline of the key elements underlying male and female same-sex attraction (SSA). For lesbianism, I will quote Janelle Hallman, a therapist noted for specializing in lesbian issues:

The Most Frequently Reported Elements of the Lesbian Struggle:

A strained, detached or missing bond and/or attachment with mother WITHOUT an available mother substitute, resulting in a fear of abandonment and need for secure attachment;
The presence of disrespect or abuse at the hands of a male, resulting in a fear or hatred of men;
Few if any girlhood/adolescent same-sex friendships, resulting in a need for acceptance,
belonging and fun;
A sense of emptiness or identity confusion in lieu of a full and rich identity, resulting in a need for self and gender identity.

Common Root Problems of the Male Homosexual Struggle:
( A complete discussion of these issues can be found on the web site: peoplecanchange.com.)

- Feelings of masculine deficiency;
Idealization of other males and maleness; same-sex peer wounds;
Fear of men, estrangement from men, disassociation from maleness;
Overidentification with the feminine;
Over-sensitivity; body image wounds
Father hunger; mother enmeshment;
Shame, secrecy, self-loathing, isolation, loneliness;
Touch deprivation;
Spiritual emptiness.


ANSWER: Homosexuality is a systemic problem involving family, extended family, school environment, peers, etc. You should never ostracize your child nor should you blame your child. Each member of the family needs to do his/her part in healing the family system.
Family therapy and/or spiritual counseling will help to educate the members of the family in how to set up new and better relationships. Whether your child chooses to leave homosexuality or not, strengthening the family is a worthwhile goal. The lines of communication between parent and child should always be open. Many families find an improvement in their relationship with their child as a result of this “big secret” finally being out in the open. Parents don’t have to accept homosexual behavior, but they do need to always love and accept their child.

Bibliotherapy is JONAH’s term for educating yourself about the issues underlying SSA and we believe this is a critical first step. Homosexuality is complex, caused by a variety of factors and often misunderstood by most therapists, doctors, teachers, and the general community. Therefore, parents need to read extensively until they understand the common causes of homosexual attractions and which of these apply to their son or daughter. For those who don’t enjoy reading, there are cassette tapes and videos available. The following web sites display extensive information about SSA and recommend the books, cassettes, and videos that will give you the education you need in order to help your child:

Jonahweb.org (Jewish)
NARTH.com (Scientific and Educational)
Peoplecanchange.com (Non-Denominational)
Gaytostraight.org. (Non-Denominational).


ANSWER: Remember that your child has probably been feeling tremendous conflict and anxiety for years before you found out about his/her SSA. We have found there is a process involved in coming to terms with this issue. The following suggestions have worked for other parents who have faced this problem:

Educate yourself about the causes of homosexuality and the strategies used to grow out of same-sex attraction.
The same-sex parent should become more involved with the child feeling SSA while the opposite-sex parent should step back and encourage the growth of the same-sex parent’s relationship with the child.
Seek counseling for you and your family with a gender-affirming therapist.
Understand that you probably will go through a process of grieving, followed by healing, and finally acceptance and understanding.
Tell a few close relatives or friends about the problem so you can confide in someone about the pain and confusion you feel. Choose your confidants carefully so you do not choose someone who has accepted the gay activist’s mythology.
Seek out group support and networking with others who have faced your problem. JONAH can help with referrals to appropriate resources.
Speak with a Rabbi or spiritual advisor to help you come to terms with your relationship to God and the anguish you feel.
Understand that whether your child chooses to grow out of homosexuality or not, you can keep your family together and have more trusting and vital relationships.
Expect your family’s healing process to take time – there are no “quick fixes.”


ANSWER: There are a number of caveats that are supported by most individuals and organizations that work in this field. Some are common sense and some have been gleaned by long years of experience:

Never ostracize your child. He/she did not choose to have SSA.
Don’t try to convince your child that he/she must change – it doesn’t work because a person needs internal motivation to undertake this difficult journey.
Don’t focus on this issue when you are with your child because he/she is much more than a person with homosexual issues.
Don’t try to make your child feel guilty; don’t take a burden of guilt on yourself either.
SSA resulted from the combination of his/her individual temperament, the relationships within the family, and the totality of his/her environment. Everyone in the family (including siblings) needs to assume some responsibility for repairing the broken relationships and forging healthier family dynamics.


ANSWER: Growing out of homosexuality rarely means that the person will never again experience a homosexual thought or attraction. We must learn to stop treating those who feel SSA as “different kinds of persons.” We understand that recovery from alcoholism, drug addiction, gambling, obesity, heterosexual promiscuity, etc., doesn’t mean the person will never be tempted again. So, too, many recovered homosexuals feel overwhelmed at times of stress and desire a “quick fix” to solve their problems. However, if they understand their “trigger points” and disengage them, they generally can resist such impulses.

Fantasizing or acting on homosexual impulses has been the way these individuals handled stress and feelings of inadequacy in the past, so at times they may briefly fall back to old habits of thinking and feeling. The difference will be that now they understand their homosexual feelings are symptoms of underlying emotional issues they need to address. Fantasizing or acting on those homosexual impulses will not solve their problems – in fact, acting out usually makes things worse because acting out covers up the real issues affecting their lives. Growth out of homosexuality or “change” will be different for each man or woman who makes the journey. Some will never have a homosexual feeling again; some will frequently struggle to overcome their attractions and/or compulsions; most will fall in between these two extremes.


ANSWER: Gay activism has done an excellent job of convincing the public. Not only do they confuse political and personal goals, but most distressingly they wrongly label those who have a principled disagreement with them as homophobic. Many professionals in the therapeutic field are skeptical about gay activist claims, but are afraid of being called intolerant, non-inclusive or homophobic if they speak up or protest.

In the personal sphere, each man or woman who feels SSA should be treated with the same dignity and compassion we feel for anyone with an emotional problem – which includes everyone of us at some point in our lives. However, to say that a problem like SSA is normal and merely an alternative lifestyle is the equivalent of saying that obesity or alcoholism is normal.

In the political sphere the gay activists have also gone too far and have almost succeeded in deconstructing the male/female design of God, nature, and evolution. We Jews were the first to proclaim that the nuclear family should be the basic building block of society. Numerous groups seek to overturn the Torah prohibition against the practice of homosexuality and accept such behavior as normal and unchangeable.

As parents who admit that we inadvertently played a role in our children feeling same-sex attraction, we must stand together and educate the Jewish community and the larger community about the prevention, intervention, and treatment of homosexuality. Our children, and all children, deserve to know the truth about this important issue.

(For a fuller discussion of this question, please see the Rabbinical Commentary Section of Jonahweb.org.)

ANSWER: JONAH’s philosophy is consistent with the Torah’s approach to homosexuality. There is no word in the Torah for a homosexual, although there are words for homosexual behavior, which leads us to believe that the Torah sets forth an understanding that homosexuality is neither inborn nor an identity. The Jewish literature is replete with examples of accepting and loving the person who feels same-sex attractions while not accepting the undesirable behavior.

Accepting a person’s same-sex attractions as inborn and unchangeable does great harm to the individual, the family, and the community. There is absolutely no reliable proof that homosexuality is inborn so to tell young people who feel same-sex attractions they were born that way and have no choice to grow out of homosexuality is simply cruel and untrue. Same-sex attractions are just one of the many life-damaging conditions we all must learn to overcome.

In Judaism, teshuvah (repentance and return) is available to all of us. We must reach out to those feeling SSA, welcome them into the Jewish community, and educate them about their ability to grow out of homosexuality.


ANSWER: JONAH is constantly expanding its world-wide list of referrals and resources. Please call our Message Line at 201-433-3444 for recommendations in the following categories:

Individual and/or family therapy with those committed to gender affirmative psychotherapy.
Support groups
Experiential Healing Week-ends for individuals, couples, and families
Teleconferencing classes for individuals, parents, therapists, and couples
Educational books, articles, and tapes
Seminars and conferences helpful to parents dealing with homosexuality.


ANSWER: While we cannot answer that question for any particular individual, we can tell the truth about homosexuality so that the individual is enabled to choose his/her own path based on facts, not myths. Some will choose not to start the journey, some will only be able to journey part of the way, some will be able to complete the journey. Many who complete the journey will reach back to help others. As one inspiring response to this question, here are the words of Jeffrey Burke Satinover, M.D., who is a member of JONAH’s Advisory Board:

“I have been extraordinarily fortunate to have met many people who have emerged from the gay life. When I see the personal difficulties they have squarely faced, the sheer courage they have displayed not only in facing these difficulties but also in confronting a culture that uses every possible means to deny the validity of their values, goals, and experiences, I truly stand back in wonder. Certainly they have forced me by the simple testimony of their lives to return again and again to my own self-examination. It is these people – former homosexuals and those still struggling, all across America and abroad – who stand for me as a model of everything good and possible in a world that takes the human heart, and the God of that heart, seriously. In my various explorations within the worlds of psychoanalysis, psychotherapy, and psychiatry, I have simply never before seen such profound healing.

Because it is not really a battle over mere sexuality, but rather over which spirit shall claim our allegiance, the cultural and political battle over homosexuality has become in many respects the defining moment for our society. It has implications that go far beyond the surface matter of “gay rights.” And so the more important dimension of this battle is not the political one, it is the one for the individual human soul. It would be easy in this modern era, when our vision for things invisible is so easily blinded by the dazzling allure of our material accomplishment, to not even take the soul – and her loving, watchful, worried shepherd – seriously. But the soul that emerges in the lives of those who have successfully struggled with homosexuality, and the soul that is in the process of emerging in those who struggle still, is so beautiful that at one stroke her emergence into sight, even dimly, simply shatters the false dazzle of modernity.

And so, as dangerous a moment as this one may be, when so much of our inheritance stands in the balance, there is great hope as well. Slowly but surely, the great truths that have embodied themselves in the lives of these men and women – after terrible struggle – will be made widely known. More and more people will themselves gain the courage to return home from their long and fruitless wanderings in the wasteland of modern sophistication, however painful that return may be. It is our joyful duty to stand waiting, with open arms, remembering that we too are journeying home.” (Dr. Jeffrey Satinover: Postscript: Homosexuality and the Politics of Truth)

I am heterosexual but have a question about what homosexuals are called. What are "male: homosexuals called? Females are "lesbian". "Gay", I think, implies both male and female.
In modern-day society "homosexuals" is a term that describes man and women who have a predominant and longlasting sexual and emotional attraction towards members of the same sex. "Gay" or "lesbian" usually also implies that those people are out there, maybe even activists for their political cause.
We do not believe in such terms. God has created all of us heterosexual. Yes, some have same-sex attractions - for whatever reason. So this is what they are then: Heterosexuals with same-sex attractions.
Like that we prefer the term "people with same-sex attractions" instead of "homosexuals", "gays" or "lesbians".

Was ist das eigentlich, Homosexualität?

Über den Begriff "Homosexualität" gibt es ja die unterschiedlichsten Vorstellungen. Der Begriff selbst wurde 1869 von Karl-Maria Kertbeny erfunden (siehe auch Wikipedia) und ist eine Mischung aus dem griechischen Wort "homo" (bedeutet soviel wie gleich oder gleichartig) und dem Lateinischen Wort "sexus" (was das männliche oder weibliche Geschlecht bezeichnet). Umgangssprachlich redet man eher von "schwul" oder "lesbisch", je nachdem ob Männer oder Frauen gemeint sind.

Nun gibt es die unterschiedlichsten Auffassungen, wer wann und ob überhaupt "homosexuell" ist.

Gehen wir kurz auf einige Fragen ein:

Ich habe in meiner Jugend mit anderen Jungs masturbiert. Bin ich jetzt schwul?

Nein. Allein sexuelle Aktivitäten mit dem selben Geschlecht zu haben, macht einen noch nicht "schwul". Bei Jugendlichen wird oft mal etwas ausprobiert. Nicht jeder Jugendliche, der daran teilnahm, hat gleichgeschlechtliche Neigungen oder entwickelt solche später (gleichwohl sind solche "Aktivitäten" nicht so harmlos, wie manche meinen!). In anderen Fällen (Gefängnisse, Armee usw.) kann es auch mangels anderer Gelegenheiten zu sexuellen Kontakten mit dem eigenen Geschlecht kommen. Auch hier haben die Betroffenen nicht zwangsweise gleichgeschlechtliche Empfindungen.

Aber ich bin doch schwul, wenn ich Sex mit anderen Männern habe?

Nicht unbedingt (siehe oben).

Nicht unbedingt? Aber wann bin ich dann schwul, wenn nicht beim Sex mit anderen Männern?

Zunächst einmal würde ich das Wort "schwul" vermeiden. Was gleichgeschlechtliche sexuelle Anziehung angeht, so kommt es hier auch darauf an, ob sie überwiegend dem gleichen Geschlecht gilt und auch über einen längeren Zeitraum (bis lebenslang) andauert.

Wenn ich also lange keinen Sex mit Männern habe, bin ich auch nicht schwul, oder?

Das kann man so nicht sagen. Zum einen kann durchaus eine sexuelle Anziehung gegeben sein, ohne dass es zum Sex kommt. Zum anderen kann ich ein ganzes Leben lang gleichgeschlechtliche Empfindungen haben und trotzdem keinen Sex mit anderen Männern haben.

Kein Sex und trotzdem schwul? Wie geht denn das?

Gleichgeschlechtliche Gefühle betreffen nicht nur die Sexualität, sondern auch und gerade eine emotionale Anziehung. Diese Anziehung ("Liebe") ist aus der Sicht der Betroffenen durchaus offen und aufrichtig und darf nicht lächerlich gemacht werden: sie lieben einen Menschen ihres gleichen Geschlechts aus tiefstem Herzen. Das Problem hierbei: Liebe alleine heisst nicht unbedingt, dass die Beziehung moralisch in Ordnung ist. Aus christlicher Sicht ist jede Liebe falsch, die sich über die Liebe zu Gott stellt. Ich kann auch als verheirateter Mann eine andere Frau "lieben", für sie meine Familie verlassen und mit ihr bis ans Ende meiner Tage "glücklich" sein - aus christlicher Sicht bleibt es trotzdem Ehebruch. Bei gleichgeschlechtlichen Beziehungen spielen aber manchmal (!) noch andere Elemente mit, die aus "Liebe" schnell emotionale Abhängigkeit werden lassen und die Grenzen der Beziehung weit über das ausdehnen, was eine traditionelle heterosexuelle Ehe gutheißen würde. Es ist leider so, dass die durchschnittliche honosexuelle Beziehung weitaus weniger monogam ist und hinsichtlich der praktizierten Form der Sexualität eher "kreativer" (andere würden sagen extremer) als die traditionelle heterosexuelle Ehe. Ja, es gibt Ausnahmen (wenn auch nicht allzu viele!), aber aus christlicher Sicht wären auch diese Ausnahmen, in denen die Beteiligten eine monogame Beziehung leben und versuchen, dem bürgerlichen Vorbild zu entsprechen, nicht akzeptabel. Ja, auch heterosexuelle Paare holen hier leider auf und überschreiten Grenzen - zweimal falsch ergibt aus christlicher Sicht aber nicht richtig.

Wieso vermeidest du das Wort "schwul"?

Es gibt Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Empfindungen, die sehen sich nicht als "homosexuell" oder gar "schwul", sondern als heterosexuell. Wie kann das angehen? Nun, ich kann mich sehr wohl als heterosexueller Mann sehen, der - aus welchen Gründen auch immer (und seien sie "genetisch bedingt"!) - gleichgeschlechtlich empfindet, dies aber nicht auslebt. Das ist eine grundsätzlich andere Sichtweise als eben genannte. Als Christen sind wir im Ebenbild Gottes geschaffen - ein Teil Seiner Schöpfung. Und Gottes Plan war es in unseren Augen nicht, dass wir mit Menschen desselben Geschlechts Beziehungen führen, die der christlichen Ehe entsprechen sollen oder Sex mit demselben Geschlecht haben.

Ist das nicht Diskriminierung? Homophobie?

Mit dem Vorwurf der "Diskriminierung" kann man sehr schnell alle anderen Sichtweisen in eine radikale Ecke drängen. Wir lehnen nicht die Menschen an sich ab (schließlich haben wir selbst gleichgeschlechtliche Empfindungen!), sondern fühlen uns dem christlichen Menschenbild und der christlichen Glaubenslehre verpflichtet und lehnen deshalb ein "schwules Leben" ab. Wir denken nicht, dass wir deshalb bessere Menschen oder bessere Christen sind als die, die ihre Neigungen voll ausleben. Allerdings behalten wir uns durchaus dasselbe Recht auf freie Meinungsäußerung vor, dass auch andere für sich einfordern. Was "Homophobie" (ebenfalls eine sehr junge Wortschätzung, die eigentlich eine Furcht beschreibt, mit Menschen, die gleichgeschlechtlich empfinden, im selben Raum zu sein - und bald auf alles ausgedehnt wurde, das anderer Meinung ist) angeht, so können wir per se nicht "homophob" sein, da wir selbst so fühlen. Es ist auch nicht ehrenhaft, andere Meinungen als "homophob" zu bezeichnen und ihnen damit jegliche Daseinsberechtigung nehmen zu wollen sowie die Betroffenen hiermit zu radikalisieren. Hier lässt man es schnell an der "Toleranz" mangeln, die man immer für sich selbst eingefordert hat. Die eigene Position sollte doch genügend Selbstbewusstsein haben, um eine andere Auffassung zu vertragen!

Es gibt doch aber so viele Selbstmorde unter Homosexuellen - gerade unter Jugendlichen! Sollte man da nicht schwule Gruppen an die Schulen lassen, damit Verständnis für die Situation von schwulen Jugendlichen geschaffen wird?

Dieses Programm ist irgendwann aus den USA nach Europa geschwappt - und hat die dortigen Argumente gleich mitgenommen. Natürlich gibt es (leider!!) Jugendliche mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Empfindungen, die Selbstmord begehen und leider gibt es bestimmt auch Diskriminierung von gleichgeschlechtlich fühlenden Jugendlichen durch Gleichaltrige. Nur ist das mit den Selbstmorden so eine Sache: Zum einen sind ist es schwer nachzuvollziehen, warum ein gleichgeschlechtlich empfindender Jugendlicher Selbstmord begeht und ob dafür wirklich die Diskriminierung durch andere ursächlich war. Zum anderen ist das Gefühlsleben bei gleichgeschlechtlich empfindenden Menschen ein anderes als bei heterosexuell empfindenden - ein Aspekt, der hier durchaus auch mit hineinspielt. Selbstverständlich soll man Jugendlichen beibringen, sie dürfen keine anderen Menschen diskriminieren - man darf dabei aber nicht nach Gruppen unterteilen. Abgesehen davon sollte man dann auch "Ex-Gay Ministries", also Einrichtungen von Menschen, die für sich entschieden haben, ihre gleichgeschlechtlichen Empfindungen nicht auszuleben und die sich gegenseitig - etwa im Rahmen von Selbsthilfegruppen - unterstützen, an die Schulen lassen. Dies geschieht abr in der Regel nicht. Homosexuelle Gruppen führen oft an, das sei doch nicht so schlimm, wenn sie an die Schulen gehen - man kann ja einen Jugendlichen nicht "schwul" machen, wenn er es nicht schon vorher war. Dies ist aber eine etwas naive, wenn auch bestimmt gutgemeinte Sichtweise: Jugendliche, die in ihrer sexuellen Entwicklung noch sehr unreif sind, probieren schnell mal etwas aus. Wenn ihnen dann ständig unter die Nase gerieben wird, wie "schön", "toll" und natürlich Homosexualität sein, experimintieren sie vielleicht auch in dieser Richtung - was sie wohl sonst nicht gemacht hätten. Was durchaus dazu führen kann, dass ihr Leben einen völlig anderen Verlauf nimmt. Hinzu kommt, dass man das Recht von Eltern akzeptieren sollte, ihren Kindern traditionell christliche Familienwerte zu vermitteln, die vielleicht eine andere Sichtweise zum Thema Homosexualität haben.

Wie seht ihr dann Schwule, die ihre Homosexualität voll ausleben?

Wir sehen uns nicht als besser oder schlechter als sie, sondern akzeptieren und respektieren ihre Entscheidung. Gleichwohl fordern wir dasselbe Maß an Respekt und Toleranz für unsere Entscheidung und Meinung, das man für sich selbst verlangt. Wir sind Christinnen und Christen und müssen uns unseres Glaubens nicht schämen.


Die Absurdität des Atheismus

Das größte Problem dabei, wenn man sich kosnequent als Atheisten bezeichnet: Es gibt kein "richtig" und "falsch", kein "gut" oder "schlecht", allerhöchstens gibt es das Prinzip des "Überlebens des Stärkeren".


Auf welcher Basis und aufgrund welchen Standards entscheidet man denn, was richtig oder falsch, was gut oder schlecht ist? Und wer entscheidet das?

Die menschliche Vernunft? Nun, Christen gestehen durchaus zu, dass Menschen tief in sich - zumindest bis zu einem gewissen Maß - erkennen können, was gut oder schlecht ist. Für einen konsequenten Atheisten kann es aber so etwas wie "gut" oder "schlecht" gar nicht geben. Die Frage ist also nicht nur, ob es so etwas gibt, sondern warum eigentlich überhaupt? Von dem trotz allem recht individuellen Maß bei der Beurteilung, ob etwas zur einen oder zur anderen Kategorie gehört, ganz zu schweigen.

Der Gesetzgeber? Und wenn der Gesetzgeber Mord für richtig erklärt, darf man es dann tun?

Die Mehrheit? Nun, die Meinung der Mehrheit schwankt fast täglich. Außerdem gibt es hier dasselbe Problem: was, wenn die Mehrheit morgen sagt, es ist in Ordnung, behinderte Menschen umzubringen?

Persönliches Glück? Hört sich ja gut an, aber was, wenn jemand persönlich damit glücklich wird, Kinder umzubringen? Oder wie es ein Professor ausgedrückt hat: wenn eine Familie ihr behindertes Kind umbringt und dafür wieder gesunde Kinder bekommt, wiegt das durch die nachkommenden Kinder folgende Glück das vorhergehende "Unglück" auf!

Alles ist in Ordnung, so lange man niemanden damit weh tut und alle Beteiligten einverstanden sind? Mit dem Argument wird vom Gruppensex bis hin zur Homosexualität, aber auch Pädophilie und sonstiges alles rechtfertigt. Auch hier darf man nachfragen, wer denn entscheidet, was wem wann weh tut und warum es eigentlich überhaupt ein Problem darstellt, jemanden weh zu tun, wenn es keinen Gott geben soll?

Konsequenterweise kann man dann auch nicht das verurteilen, was Hitler und die Nazis getan haben. Aufgrund welcher Basis denn, wenn es "gut" und "schlecht" eigentlich nicht gibt?

Ein konsequenter Atheismus ist absurd und führt ins Nirgendwo.

(Empfohlene CD's: Ken Hensley: The Absurdity of Atheism)


Dr. Michael Brown - Answering the Tough Questions Asked by Homosexuals

Warum soll man Menschen nicht so annehmen, wie sie sind?

Natürlich soll man Menschen so annehmen wie sie sind. Die Frage ist nur, was man darunter versteht. Wenn ein Mensch gleichgeschlechtliche Neigungen hat, soll man ihn selbstverständlich als Menschen annehmen, wertschätzen und lieben. Das heißt aber keineswegs, dass ich als Christ das Ausleben dieser Neigungen gutheißen oder gar fördern muss. Für Christen - und zwar für alle Christen unabhängig von ihren Neigungen! - gelten die Gebote Gottes. Das heißt, dass wir bestimmte moralische Standards und Richtlinien für unser Leben haben. Nirgendwo in der Bibel steht, dass man dieses und jenes nicht tun soll, außer man hat bestimmte Neigungen dafür. Wir alle haben Versuchungen, mit denen wir zu kämpfen haben. Was für eine Lebenseinstellung wäre es, einfach nur seinen Versuchungen nachzugeben, weil sie eben da sind!

Als Christen sind wir auch der festen Überzeugung, dass niemand Schaden nimmt, wenn er/sie die Gebote Gottes befolgt. Ebenso ist es uns aufgetragen, unsere Kinder im christlichen Glauben zu erziehen. Gerade weil wir sie lieben, werden und können wir nicht einfach so Dinge gutheißen, die unserem Glauben widersprechen und von denen wir der Ansicht sind, dass sie letztlich negative spirituelle (und möglicherweise auch negative psychische und körperliche) Konsequenzen haben werden. Gott lässt sich nicht verspotten. Auch sind wir uns bewusst, dass Er uns bestimmte Gebote nicht deshalb gegeben hat, weil Er uns gerne herum kommandiert, sondern weil Er uns liebt und weiß, wohin es führt, wenn wir unser Gesicht von Ihm abwenden.


Sind gleichgeschlechtliche Neigungen ein Suchtproblem?

Oft werden gleichgeschlechtliche Neigungen auf der selben Ebene wie Suchterkrankungen gesehen. Das ist eindeutig abzulehnen. Suchtprobleme (Sexsucht oder andere Suchterkrankungen) können zwar Bestandteil von gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen sein, das ist aber nicht zwangsweise so - und selbst wenn ein Suchtproblem hinzukommt, sind gleichgeschlechtliche Neigungen doch weitaus mehr als "nur" Suchtprobleme. So gibt es auch Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen, die diese nicht ausleben oder nur wenig sexuelle Erfahrung auf diesem Gebiet haben. Hier kann man schwerlich von einer Suchtproblematik sprechen.

Ein seelsorgerischer und/oder therapeutischer Ansatz, der rein auf Basis von Suchterkrankungen arbeitet, greift ganz klar zu kurz und wird auch nicht zum gewünschten Ergebnis führen.



Unwanted same-sex attractions: Stereotypes & other erroneous beliefs

When it comes to unwanted same-sex attractions, often times a set program loads up when certain buttons are pushed, especially when we are talking about men. You get to hear the story of the little boy who did not have a good relationship with his father and thus resulted in developing a gender-identity disorder. Or the adult man who admires in other men what he lacks in himself – the masculine traits. Other examples: A life in the gay scene that resulted in hitting rock bottom (like mental, social, professional, relational and/or health problems or disillusions), shame and guilt all along the way or broken families.
All of that could be the case. Note: it could be – but it does not necessarily have to be the case. Human sexuality is caused by a whole bunch of different factors and the mixture thereof. Also the human brain keeps on changing every minute of the day by our actions, words and deeds – all of that leaves traces. To put up one stereotyped and simplified scenario and generalize that for everyone might lead to wrong conclusions and perceptions. Not every boy who later on developed same-sex attractions had a bad or missing relationship with his father – or was sexually, emotionally, verbally or physically abused. And from those who were not everyone developed same-sex attractions. Also you cannot simplify those attractions as a “gender-identity disorder”. That definition would only cover part of it – and only for a part of those who have those attractions. People with same-sex attractions are not just “sick”. They don’t necessarily need our pity because they had a bad childhood. They are not simply “messed up”.
Also not every man with same-sex attractions ended up in the gay scene – and did not necessarily end up with many different sex partners, practicing extreme forms of sexuality, not finding a long-term monogamous relationship. Yes, all of that happens quite often – but setting up a simple pattern that makes things easy to explain and forcing them on all those who have same-sex attractions is simply not acceptable.
Not every man with same-sex attractions is desiring men who have what he thinks he does not have (for example a physically weak man with a low self-esteem that desired strong and assertive men). Some men look for similar men (even though those who tend to look and act similar from the outside are not so similar if you take a closer look). Others look for younger, tender men.
Yes, many men with same-sex attractions have a gender-identity disorder, but is this a must? Aside from that: A gender-identity disorder only covers a small part of the human being. Humans according to the Bible are an entity of body, psyche and soul. A GID only refers to the psyche (with implications on the other two though).
So what should we do? As much as patterns can be useful to describe what we experience, see and feel, we need to keep in mind that human beings don’t always follow patterns. Each person is different and needs to be seen as individual. Also those who have same-sex attractions should not just accept other people’s labels for them and see themselves as “sick” or “disordered” or try to explain their own attractions in simplified patterns and brains. Those who try to assist people with unwanted same-sex attractions on their way to freedom should keep in mind that there is no simple system with simple rules for stereotyped persons. It just does not work that way. If you try to do that, you might become disillusioned in no time and might also disillusion those you try to help – and in the end things could be a lot worse than ever before.
For everyone involved: Get information, talk to others, find out about the true and legitimate emotional and relational needs of the person with same-sex attractions and listen closely his or her story. Find out in which areas the inner struggle lies and seek help there. If your tooth aches you wouldn’t call the pastor, right? Same with same-sex attractions: If your problem is a relational one, you can’t just “pray away the gay”. Most of all, however, we need to rely on God and trust in Him – especially in those situations where we do not see any sense or purpose, where we are scared and have no clue where this is leading us, where it all looks dark with no light in sight. Put your last bit of trust in Him. He created you and He will call you home one day – and He is the one who will never ever let you down, who can bring good out of all that trouble you might have gone through, who can heal you and whose love will never fail. Jesus died for us so the power of sin is broken. We are free!!
What if I have a powerful same-sex drive? Why shouldn't I go for it? I can't stay alone for the rest of my days! Why can't I be happy too? - All questions that do have a real and sometimes painful background. So how about it? Let's start with the powerful sex-drive. The temptation is strong, if that drive has built up for many years - maybe because you had nobody to talk to and/or saw no other alternative than to finally yield. However, if there is one thing I had learned during the many years in the gay scene involving many sexual encounters with men and sexual practices you might not even heard of, then it is this: If you think you can quench that thirst from your sex drive by "going for it", then you better forget that right now. It's not going to happen. On the contrary: Once you break a taboo, the next one will be so much easier to get out of the way. Once you try to still your sexual drive by having sex with members of the same sex, you tasted blood and will want more. And more. And more. Being "creative" will become the new norm - and your life will turn around "being gay". If you think that is fun, let me tell you this: Yea, at the beginning it is like a wall crumbling down. "Finally I can be myself!" (much later you might realize that this was only a very distorted picture of yours). That big high, however, will soon make way for embitterness. You don't want to go there. There are reasons why you have those same sex attractions. Many different factors contributed to the development of your ssa - and need to be dealt with. Also there are legitimate physical, emotional, relational and spiritual needs behind your attractions. Those needs need to be adressed and satisfied a healthier way. Keeping all of that in mind, it is irresponsible to just forget about all that and tell people to "go for it". That is cheap. Seeking the quick fix will quench your thirst for a short time, numb the pain and help you forget about things - much like a drug addict does by getting loaded. However, sex does not heal and on the long rund things will get much worse. You exchange true satisfaction for the easy way out.

But what about having to stay alone for the rest of your days? If you mean "lonely" by "alone", then let me remind you that you can - and likely will - be very lonely in the gay scene. Being "alone" is something different. It is a gift that Jesus often used when He went out in the desert to pray. We need to be alone at times to spend some good quality time with ourselves and with God. To be able to be alone is a true treasure. Ever since I left the gay scene, I found times to be "alone", but most of the time the Lord grants me time to spend with the many true friends He brought into my life ever since and with the people He leads to me to help them get back on their feet again. I have never been less "lonely" than since I had left the gay life. I have found a true meaning and purpose in life and also my life has changed in all areas.

So what about "being happy"? I think it is a big misconception in today's culture and society that once with throw something in the "love"- or "being happy"-pool, everything is fine. No, it isn't. Being "happy" is not a criteria that something is good or morally acceptable. An alcoholic who just had a bottle of wodka might say he is "happy" now. A family father might have just left his wife and kids to live with his new girlfriend, "love" her and be "happy" with her for the rest of his days - it would still be unacceptable adultery in a Christian's eyes. Following Christ will give you true joy and tell you about the difference between "being happy" and finding that joy only God can give. And please don't mistake love for a fuzzy feeling. Feelings come and go. Love is a covenant where one person gives himself or herself (reflecting Christ's life-giving covenant with His bride, the Church) and where the two take the willful decision to stay together for their whole lives to become one flesh again. Again? Yes, our sexual drive hints back to the beginnings, where Eve was taken from Adam's flesh. This drive seeks that union back again - becoming one flesh. So much one you have to give this "one" a name nine months after.

To cut it short: I know it isn't easy to leave the gay life. It can be very scare as you have no idea what you signed up for and where this will take you. So for the beginning I give you this piece of advice: Scratch together the little faith and trust you can find in you and put it on God. And then let yourself fall and begin the journey - step by step. God has never broken any of His promises. He will be with you every second of the way and lead you out of this. Promised.

General Questions - Allgemeine Fragen

Was ist "Homosexualität" eigentlich?

(siehe auch Wikipedia) - Aktion Leben


Homosexualität wird von manchen Wissenschaftlern als eine Störung der (heterosexuellen) Geschlechtsidentität mit neurotischem Hintergrund - also keine eigenständige sexuelle Identität- gesehen. Anders ausgedrückt: es gibt keine Homosexuelle, sondern nur Heterosexuelle mit einem homosexuellen Problem. Sie wird verursacht von einem Bündel verschiedenster Faktoren. 
Homosexualität hat regelmäßig auch Schmerz (in welcher Form auch immer) als Ursache, sodass hier grundsätzlich nicht von einer Identität, sondern von einem auf die verschiedensten Ursachen zurückzuführenden Verhalten auszugehen ist.

(Anmerkung: Siehe hierzu unser Selbstverständnis)

Zum Begriff "Homosexualität"

Karl-Maria Kertbeny erfand 1869 den Begriff Homosexualität:

• Griech. homo = gleich, gleichartig
• Lat. sexus = das männliche und das weibliche Geschlecht
Homosexuelle Männer werden auch als „schwul“ bezeichnet (in Anlehnung an „drückend heiߓ seit dem 18. Jhdt Im Jugendjargon auch als Schimpfwort für langweilig, weiblich); feminine Männer als „Tunten“. Frauen als „lesbisch“ (nach der griech. Insel Lesbos, Heimat der Frauen der liebenden Dichterin Sappho); maskuline Frauen sind „Butch“ oder „Kampflesben“.
Ebenfalls üblich als Überbegriffe (v.a. im englischsprachigen Raum): „gay“ (vormals in der Bedeutung von „fröhlich“ oder „bunt“). Ebenfalls üblich – aber eher abwertend – „queer“ („seltsam“, „komisch“). „Gay“ bezeichnet auch die Zugehörigkeit zur „gay community“ (im Gegensatz zu „homosexuell“.
Frauen sind „lesbians“ oder „dykes“.
„Transgender“ = transsexuell.

(siehe auch Wikipedia)

Was ist "Homosexualität"?

• Mehr als nur Sex zwischen Menschen desselben Geschlechts!
• Gleichgeschlechtliche Neigungen (ausschließlich/überwiegend und andauernd)
• Wer bestimmt, wann und ob ich homosexuell bin? Bin ich homosexuell, wenn ich homos. Fantasien habe? Wenn ich homos. Verhalten zeige?
• Niemand sucht sich seine Sexualität aus – wohl aber, ob er/sie sie auslebt!
• „Homosexuell“ gibt es eigentlich nicht. Biologisch sind wir alle heterosexuell. Allerdings haben manche Heterosexuelle aufgrund versch. Ursachen ein homosexuelles Problem.
• Angeboren? Gelerntes Verhalten? Sünde? Psychische Störung? Störung der Geschlechts-Identität? Lebensstil? Eine normale, andere Art der Sexualität, die vor der Geburt festgelegt wurde?


Homosexualität - Orientierung/Neigung oder Neurose?

Im Falle einer Neurose wäre es ein reines Verhaltensproblem (siehe: Aardweg, Nicolosi).

• Gestützt wird diese Theorie durch Ähnlichkeiten im Lebenslauf vieler Homosexueller (Problem mit gleichgeschlechtlichem Elternteil usw.)
• Bei einer Orientierung/Neigung treffen Umweltfaktoren auf genetische Vorbedingungen / Charaktereigenschaften.
• Dies ist wahrscheinlicher und gängige Lehrmeinung: hier gibt es eine genetische Grundvoraussetzung, die es dem Individuum erleichtert, in bestimmten Situationen (Umweltbedingungen) mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Verhaltensweisen zu reagieren. (auch hier dann also Verhalten, wenn auch unter anderen Voraussetzungen!). Vergleich: Fußballer (genet. Grundvoraussetzung: Kraft, Schnelligkeit, Geschicklichkeit usw. – aber KEIN Fußball-Gen!)
• Für einen Christen ist dies zweitrangig: ein sündhaftes Verhalten lässt sich jederzeit überwinden. Selbst bei genetischen Zusatzfaktoren muss der Einzelne lernen, damit umzugehen (ähnlich etwa Diabetes). Er ist und bleibt selbst verantwortlich für sein tun.
• Am wahrscheinlichsten: Sexualität wird bestimmt durch eine Mischung verschiedenster Faktoren, wobei deren Zusammensetzung individuell unterschiedlich ist und in jedem Fall durch die Umwelt erheblich beeinflusst werden kann (Erziehung, Verhaltens- und Einstellungsänderung usw.).
• Wichtig: in jedem Fall kann der Einzelne erst einmal nichts für die Entstehung seiner Homosexualität (sieh Aardweg‘s Selbstmitleid-Theorie: der Mensch ist sich dessen weder bewusst noch macht er dies absichtlich)

(siehe Copyright)

Was sagt die Bibel - Verhalten oder Orientierung?

Im allgemeinen sieht die Bibel Homosexualität eher als Verhalten ("Und solche gab es unter euch" 1. Korinther 6:11). Es gibt aber auch Stellen, die auf eine Orientierung verweisen: "ebenso gaben die Männer den natürlichen Verkehr mit der Frau auf und entbrannten in Begierde zueinander").
Nur an einer Stelle geht die Bibel noch einen Schritt weiter - in Matthäus 19:12:
"Denn es ist so: Manche sind von Geburt an zur Ehe unfähig, manche sind von den Menschen dazu gemacht und manche haben sich selbst dazu gemacht - um des Himmelreiches willen. Wer das erfassen kann, der erfasse es." (Betonung hinzugefügt)
Selbst wenn man also von einem "schwulen Gen" ausgeht, ist das noch lange kein Freibrief für sündhaftes Verhalten! Dieser Ver steht im Kontext der heterosexuellen Ehe zwischen Mann und Frau, die von Jesus hier nochmals ausdrücklich betont wird!


Man könnte sagen Homosexualität bedeutet, dass Männer von Männern und Frauen von Frauen sexuell angezogen werden. Das alleine wäre aber zuwenig. Wenn man die Wurzeln von Homosexualität betrachtet, merkt man schnell, dass dadurch legitime Bedürfnisse nach gleichgeschlechtlicher Nähe und Wärme auf die falsche Art und Weise befriedigt werden. Wir sind auch der festen Überzeugung, dass es Homosexualität nicht gibt. Diese Wortschöpfung ist noch relativ jung. Wir sind alle im Grunde heterosexuell - aber aus unterschiedlichen Gründen (und seien sie genetisch!) haben wir ein homosexuelles Problem.  Homosexualität ist aber nicht auf derselben Stufe von Heterosexualität. Die Amerikaner drücken das weitaus besser aus: "gender identity disorder" (GID) - Störung der Geschlechts-Identität. Das trifft es weitaus besser. Am besten wäre es, sich in der öffentlichen Diskussion auf den Begriff "gleichgeschlechtliche Neigungen" (same-sex attractions - ssa) zu einigen. Damit trifft man den Kern der Angelegenheit. Ein weiteres Problem: wer bestimmt eigentlich, ob ich diese habe? Nicht jede gleichgeschlechtliche sexuelle Erfahrung macht einen automatisch "homosexuell". Manche hatten noch nie gleichgeschlechtlichen Sex, bezeichnen sich aber trothdem als "schwul" oder "lesbisch", andere hatten ihn schon öfter, sehen sich aber als heterosexuell. Tatsächlich kann das nur jeder selbst bestimmen. Auch die Dauer gleichgeschlechtlicher Neigungen ist bei jedem unterschiedlich. Tatsächlich wird in der Jugend oft experimentiert - aber auch im Erwachsenenalter wechseln so manche noch "die Seiten". Bei Männern ist die Wahrscheinlichkeit, dass sich dieser Zustand dauerhaft verfestigt aber weitaus höher als bei Frauen.


Homosexualität ist also weitaus mehr als nur Sex zwischen Menschen desselben Geschlechts. Sie bezeichnet gleichgeschlechtliche Neigungen (ausschließlich oder überwiegend und vor allem andauernd). Wichtig zu wissen: niemand sucht sich seine Sexualität aus. Man kann aber sehr wohl wählen, ob man sie auch auslebt.


Wie entwickelt sich Homosexualität - ein mögliches Szenario

1) Ein Junge wird mit „typischen“ Wesenszügen geboren (genetisch/hormonell): Sensibilität, Kreativität... (später mit ursächlich für Verhalten).
2) Er ist „anders“: unter Gleichaltrigen schüchtern. Fühlt sich unter Jungs unwohl.
3) Vater ist distanziert. Enttäuscht zieht sich der Junge von ihm zurück (Verteidigung!). Er kommt mit Gleichaltrigen noch weniger zurecht. Später wird er sagen: „Ich war schon immer anders“ und denken, er sei so geboren worden.
4) Junge sehnt sich trotzdem noch verzweifelt nach väterlicher Liebe. Bewundert als Kind ältere Jungs. In der Pubertät Vermischung mit sex. Gefühlen. Es entwickeln sich homos. Neigungen. Später wird er sagen: „Ich fühlte mich schon immer zu Jungs hingezogen“.. Wichtig: therap. Eingreifen mit Einbeziehung des Vaters! Ziel: beginnende weibl. Verhaltensmuster des Jungen ändern; Vater muss lernen, wie er mit seinem Sohn umzugehen hat.
5) Mit fortschreitender Pubertät beginnt er, mit homos. Aktivitäten zu experimentieren. Bei manchen kommt es auch zum Missbrauch. Oder er versucht noch verzweifelt, gegen seine Neigungen anzukämpfen. Er hat sich seine Homosexualität nicht ausgesucht – er hatte keine Wahl! Einerseits hört er sehr negative Äußerungen über Homosexuelle und denkt er sei Abschaum, andererseits hört er die Parolen der Schwulenbewegung: du bist normal! Lebe deine Sexualität aus!
6) Sehnsucht nach Liebe: erste homos. Erfahrungen. Sehnsüchte verschwinden zeitweise. Gefühl der Erleichterung / des Trostes. Homos. Erfahrungen werden häufiger.
Er entdeckt Sex als Mittel gegen Stress, Ängste und Probleme. Durch seine homos. Erfahrungen hat er bereits Tabus gebrochen. Nun weiterer Bruch: Sex mit mehreren Partnern, extremerer Sex... Homosexualität wird zum Zentrum des Lebens. 8) Tatsächlich gibt es nun mehr Stress. Er stößt auf Ablehnung. Nur die gay community akzeptiert ihn. Er hat aber immer noch Schuld- und Schamgefühle (auch darüber, dass er keinen Kontakt zu Frauen herstellen kann). Die Gesellschaft redet ihm aber ein: Homosexualität ist ok. 9) Er gibt den inneren Kampf auf. „Ich war schon immer anders. Ich kann mich nicht ändern, weil ich so geboren bin.“. Gefühl der Erleichterung / Befreiung. 10) Wichtig jetzt: Einstellung der Gesellschaft. Begünstigend für Festsetzung der Homosexualität: Diskriminierung/Ablehnung oder allgemeine Akzeptanz der Homosexualität. 11) Die wichtigste Botschaft, die er jetzt hören sollte: „Heilung ist möglich!“ 12) Entscheidet er sich für den Weg der Heilung, wird er schnell merken, wie lange und schwierig das ist – aber auch erfüllend und befriedigend. Wichtig jetzt: Unterstützung durch Ex-Gays, Familie, (heteros.) Freunde, Kirche (Trost/Beistand, Vorbild, Helfen bei der Findung der Geschlechts-Identität, Geduld, Lenkung der Talente in angemessene Richtungen). Achtung: Langer Lernprozess! Alte Wunden werden aufreißen! Erfordert viel Geduld!

“Anders“ zu sein oder andere Interessen zu haben als die Mehrzahl der Menschen unseres Geschlechts ist nicht das erste Anzeichen von Homosexualität. Jedoch kann die Intoleranz unserer Gesellschaft oder von Gleichaltrigen diesen Unterschieden gegenüber ein sexuelles Problem erzeugen. Als Junge in Frauenkleidern herumzulaufen, ist kein früher Hinweis auf Homosexualität. Der Wunsch, von anderen Menschen desselben Geschlechts beachtet zu werden ist ebenfalls keine Garantie für Homosexualität... „Jeder schaut sich im Umkleideraum um“...Das ist der „Gruppenzwang“ unserer Gesellschaft, der solch einen Druck erzeugt. Das gilt auch für sexuelles Experimentieren. Statistiken zeigen, dass eine große Zahl Jugendlicher gleichgeschlechtliche Erfahrungen haben, die ihnen durchaus gefallen haben – von gegenseitiger Masturbation bis hin zum oralen oder analen Geschlechtsverkehr. Die Auffassung „Wenn du wirklich hetero wärst, hätte es dir nicht gefallen“ ist falsch."
•„Als menschliche Wesen reagieren wir auf körperliche Stimulation. Das Reagieren auf schule Pornographie ist ebenfalls kein sicheres Zeichen von Homosexualität. Die meisten Männer werden leicht sexuell erregt, sodass sie sogar beim Anblick ihrer eigenen Geschlechtsorgane leicht erregt sind. Die Tatsache, dass ein Mann oder eine Frau keine „wirkliche Befriedigung“ in einer heterosexuellen Erfahrung gefunden hat kann ebenfalls ein Hinweis für viele verschiedene Sachen sein. Wenn diese Erfahrungen außerhalb einer Ehe geschehen sind, haben sie schon ein eingebautes potential für einen Fehltritt. Da gibt es die Unsicherheit, nicht zu wissen, wie lange es dauern wird. Mit keiner dauerhaften Verpflichtung liegt die Betonung mehr auf dem sexuellen Akt als auf wahrer Intimität. Diese und andere Faktoren können einen ernsthaften Effekt auf die Erfüllung haben.“ (Ed Hurst, Homosexuality: Laying the Axe to the Roots)

Ein Argument von schwulen Aktivisten: Homosexuelle seine nicht geschlechts-fixiert - im Sinne von: sie würden sich nicht auf ein Geschlecht festlegen. Die Gesellschaft allerdings würde polarisieren und müsse sich deshalb ändern. Allerdings muss man hier nachfragen: wenn Homosexuellen das Geschlecht wirklich so egal ist, warum sind sie dann nicht bisexuell?
Warum wird etwa "Männlichkeit" bei schwulen Männern so idealisiert? Liest man schwule Kontaktanzeigen, werden da immer "hetero-Typen" gesucht ("männlich", "behaart", "muskulös", "keine Tunten"). Und warum finden wir auf der Suche nach Männlichkeit ein derart zwanghaftes und gefährliches sexuelles Verhalten?
Ist es nicht vielmehr so, dass Homosexuelle dem Geschlecht nicht gleichgültig gegenüberstehen, sondern hier ein Defizit haben? Ein auf einem Defizit basierendes Verhalten, verursacht durch eine erhöhte Sensibilität hinsichtlich dem, was einem selbst fehlt und durch einen zwanghaften Drang charakterisiert ist (der Betroffene verfolgt das Verhalten trotz sozialer Nachteile und gesundheitlicher Risiken). Verhaltensweisen, die auf einem Defizit basieren, haben auch die Tendenz zur Karikatur (zu finden etwa in "Leder-Bars", wo sich Männer wie Soldaten und Polizisten anziehen und diverse einschlägige Utensilien bei sich tragen. Das dahinter steckende Defizit:




Dr. Leo Madow sagt, „In der Homosexualität ist oft ein großer Anteil Wut und Ärger, oft direkt unter der Oberfläche.“

Dr. Charles Socarides stellt fest: „Die meisten homosexuellen Akte entwaffnen zunächst den Partner durch die eigene Verführungskunst, Anziehungskraft, Macht, Ansehen, Weiblichkeit oder „Männlichkeit“ und befriedigen sich dann an dem Besiegten. Zu entwaffnen um zu besiegen ist ein übliches Motiv.“

Ein Mann beschrieb seine Gefühle wie folgt: „Ich versuche, von attraktiven Männern das zu nehmen, was ich selbst nicht habe (...) Ich glaube, ich kann selbst kein richtiger Mann sein und so versuche ich Konkurrenten zu verführen und übertrumpfen (...) Ich will doch einen Vater! (...) Ich kann einfach nicht aus der Falle heraus, in die mich meine Mutter gebracht hat (...) und jedes Mal, wenn ich einen Streit mit ihr habe oder sie wütend auf mich ist, scheine ich mir einen Mann heruaszusuchen, den ich sexuell ausbeuten kann und mir selbst zu beweisen, dass ich es mit ihm aufnehmen kann.“ (Irving Bieber et. Al. Homosexuality)


Was, wenn man doch ein schwules Gen findet? Dann schaut ihr schön blöd aus der Wäsche!

Nirgends in der Bibel steht, wir dürften dieses oder jenes nicht tun - außer es wäre in unserem Gencode. Auch Erbkrankheiten, die Veranlagung zum Alkoholismus oder zur Kriminalität können eventuell "angeboren" sein (im Sinne von: bestimmte genetische Voraussetzungen können es möglicherweise dem Betreffenden leichter machen, unter bestimmten äußeren Vorausetzungen bestimmte Verhaltensweisen oder körperliche bzw. psychische Merkmale zu entwickeln). Wir wollen hier nicht gleichgeschlechtliche Neigungen mit Alkoholismus, Erbkrankheiten oder gar Kriminalität vergleichen - gleichwohl sollte man sich die Absurdität einer solchen Argumentation vor Augen halten: Etwas ist "angeboren" und somit ist es auch moralisch akzeptabel, sich so und nicht anders zu verhalten. 

Die Tatsache, dass etwas "angeboren" ist, heißt nicht automatisch, dass es auch moralisch richtig ist. Was für ein Menschenbild wäre dies, bei dem wir wie Roboter das tun müssten, was der Gecode uns vorschreibt! Selbst wenn wir bestimmte Veranlagungen haben, heißt dies in KEINSTER Weise, dass wir auch so leben MÜSSEN! Tausende haben bereits bewiesen, dass man selbst als Mensch mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen ein erfülltes und gottgefälliges - keusches oder heterosexuelles - Leben führen kann! Egal was die Ursachen dafür sein mögen! Ganz abgesehen davon wird die menschliche Sexualität nicht von einem einzigen Merkmal bestimmt. Ebensowenig das menschliche Verhalten oder Empfinden. Letztendlich ist Jesus auch am Kreuz für uns gestorben, damit wir Vergebung finden und die Sünde überwinden können - und nichts anderes ist es, seine gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen auszuleben! Und BITTE kommt nun nicht mit dem Argument, dass Gott uns ja dann so gemacht hätte und dass es dann ja richtig sein müsse! Gott hat euch nicht zu Sündern gemacht - egal was die Ursache für gleichgeschlechtliche Neigungen ist - es bleibt jedem selbst überlassen, ob er sie auslebt oder nicht!

Manche schwule Aktivisten behaupten, dass Homosexuelle Geschlechtern gegenüber gleichgültig sind - im Sinne von: er/sie legt sich nicht auf eines fest. Unsere Gesellschaft aber würde dies tun - sie polarisiere und müsse sich deshalb ändern. Wenn Homosexuelle dem Geschlecht gegenüber aber wirklich so gleichgültig sind, warum sind sie dann nicht bisexuell??


(Quelle: U.a. Material von Joe Dallas.)


Homosexualität ist nicht falsch - schließlich ist mittlerweile klar, dass Schwule so geboren worden sind! Da müsste Gott ja einen Fehler gemacht haben!

Zum einen gibt es bis jetzt noch keinen einzigen beweis dafür, dass Homosexualität angeboren ist - warum also annehmen, Gott hätte uns "schwul" gemacht? Sexualität wird für gewöhnlich durch ein Bündel verschiedenster Faktoren beeinflusst, wobei die Gene nur einen Teil ausmachen. Zum anderen ist es für einen Christen unerheblich, ob man so "geboren" wurde oder nicht. Wir sind nicht Sklaven unseres Gencodes und außerdem ist die Tatsache, dass etwas "angeboren" ist kein Hinweis dafür, ob es auch moralisch richtig ist. Gesetzt den Fall, es gäbe tatsächlich ein "schwules Gen": als Christen müssen wir dann eben lernen, damit zu leben. Für uns ist die Bibel ausschlaggebend und das, was Gott uns darin sagt.

Ich habe mir meine Gefühle doch nicht ausgesucht!

Das mag so sein. Es gibt aber weitaus mehr Gefühle, die wir uns nicht aussuchen. Manchmal sind wir vielleicht wütend oder eifersüchtig. Diese Gefühle haben wir uns auch nicht ausgesucht - wir können uns aber sehr wohl aussuchen, ob wir ihnen freien Lauf geben und sie ausleben!

Ich bin schon homosexuell, seitdem ich denken kann!

Vielleicht hast du tatsächlich schon seit frühester Kindheit gemerkt, dass du "anders" bist (wobei wir hier ausdrücklich "anders" betonen - kann es nicht auch sein, dass du nur rückwirkend alles in diesem Licht interpretierst - was weiß ein Kleinkind denn schon von Homosexualität?). Vielleicht kannst du dich einfach nicht mehr erinnern. Wie dem auch immer - selbst das macht etwas nicht richtig oder falsch.

Gott hat mir also diese Gefühle gegeben - und jetzt will Er, dass ich ihnen nicht nachgebe??

Nur weil du bestimmte Gefühle hast, muss das nicht gleich heißen, dass Gott sie dir gegeben hat. Alle Menschen haben Gefühle, die auszuleben dem christlichen Glauben widersprechen würde. Na und? Auch Jesus wurde versucht - und hat der Versuchung widerstanden!

Wie auch immer - aber ich kann doch meine Sexualität nicht einfach ändern! Wollt ihr mich umpolen?

Wir zwingen niemanden, etwas zu tun oder nicht zu tun und wir wollen erst recht niemanden "umpolen". Als Christinnen und Christen glauben wir tatsächlich daran, dass das, was Menschen unmöglich ist, sehr wohl für Gott möglich ist. Und zu Ihm wenden wir uns um Hilfe. Wir haben die Erfahrung gemacht, dass unsere gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen sowohl in ihrer Häufigkeit wie auch in ihrer Intensität erheblich nachgelassen haben. Bei einigen sind sie gar ganz verschwunden. Manche unter uns haben heterosexuelle Gefühle entwickelt oder diese verstärkt - und eine Familie gegründet. Andere blieben Singles. Allen gemeinsam aber ist, dass sie ein enges Verhältnis zu Gott aufgebaut haben und ihr Leben an dem orientieren, was er uns in der Bibel sagt. Es mag sein, dass wir noch gleichgeschlechtliche Gefühle haben, aber sie beherrschen uns nicht mehr. Wir haben unser altes Leben aufgegeben und ein neues in Christus begonnen. Gehorsam dem Herrn gegenüber ist für uns wichtiger als alles andere. Im übrigen gibt es weltweit Wissenschaftler, die sehr wohl daran glauben, dass Homosexuelle therapeutisch begleitet werden können (siehe hierzu auch unser Selbstverständnis).

Warum sollte Gott denn wollen, dass ich etwas verändere, dass ich mein ganzes Leben lang gehabt habe? Ich habe ja versucht, es zu verändern, war aber nichts. Das klingt doch überhaupt nicht nach Gott!

Das klingt sogar sehr nach Gott! Er fordert von dir nichts anderes als von allen von uns: uns selbst zu verleugnen, ja aufzugeben. Unser Kreuz auf uns zu nehmen und Ihm nach zu folgen! Er weiß, dass du versucht hast, dich zu ändern und das aus eigener Kraft nicht kannst! Er hat auch nicht gesagt, dass DU dich ändern musst. Er hat gesagt, du musst Ihm nachfolgen und gehorsam leben. Die Veränderung in unseren Herzen, also im Inneren, ist Sein Job - der Gehorsam allerdings unserer. Wir sind nicht hier, um unser "Selbst" zu befriedigen, sondern es zu verlieren. Nichts von uns und alles von Ihm!


Es ist doch inzwischen bewiesen, dass homosexuelles Verhalten sogar im Tierreich weit verbreitet ist. Was für ein Problem habt ihr also damit?

Nun, ich will mal nicht so sehr auf die wissenschaftliche Seite eingehen (meiner Kenntnis nach sind derartige Fälle bei weitem nicht so verbreitet wie angenommen und erst recht selten unter natürlichen Bedingungen anzutreffen. Aber dem mag jeder selbst nachgehen. Ich denke aber doch, dass man solchen Berichten einmal objektiv nachgehen sollte, anstatt etwas nachzuplappern, was man irgendwo aufgeschnappt hat).

Aber gehen wir doch um der Diskussion willen einmal davon aus: nehmen wir an, es gibt Fälle homosexuellen Verhaltens im Tierreich. NA UND?? Will man tatsächlich tierisches Verhalten dafür hernehmen, um menschliches Verhalten zu rechtfertigen? Würde dies unser eigenes Verhalten irgendwie "moralischer", "richtiger" oder "natürlicher" machen? Im Tierreich gibt es eine Menge von Verhaltensweisen, die nachzuvollziehen für Menschen wohl kaum annehmbar wäre.

Ist es nicht ein Armutszeugnis, wenn man derartige Vergleiche als Rechtfertigung seiner eigenen Position verwenden muss?

Link: The Animal Homosexuality Myth

Same-Sex Attractions (SSA)


How about this: try not to see ssa only as something bad.

Yes, we are different and each one of us has his own past - but that is not necessarily a bad thing. It shaped us into the men we are now. Ssa means a lot more than just sexual behavior. We are different - that's for sure - but we also have different qualities and gifts. The Lord has given us something special that we can also use to honor and praise Him.

There is temptation in every man's life - but there is also the potential for something good.

We might have had a distorted view from ourselves (our identity) and from God in the past, but we are here to work on that and use what's left for the glory of the Lord.

Take care,


Andere Völker

Ich habe gehört, dass Homosexualität bei Naturvölkern weit verbreitet ist. Es scheint dort ganz normal zu sein, dass etwa Männer mit Jungen Sex haben. Und deshalb werden dort auch nicht mehr Jungen homosexuell als anderswo.

Gleich zu Anfang: Hast du dies Fakten wirklich überprüft? Oder wird hier wieder kritiklos irgend etwas weiter gegeben, ohne sich von dessen Wahrheitsgehalt und vollem Hintergrund zu überzeugen?

Aber gehen wir der lieben Diskussion willen einmal davon aus, es sei wirklich so.

Was will man damit eigentlich rechtfertigen oder begründen/erklären? Was, wenn es für ein "Naturvolk" "normal" ist und das sie nichts Verwerfliches dabei finden, Angehörige des Nachbarstammes umzubringen? Heißt das dann, bei uns ist das auch in Ordnung?

Auch hier gilt: die Tatsache, dass "Naturvölker" etwas tun, macht etwas nicht "natürlich" im Sinne von "normal" oder gar "moralisch richtig" (siehe dazu auch unser Selbstverständnis). Wir haben unser eigenes Wertesystem, das sich - gerade in Europa - aus christlichen Traditionen und Moralvorstellungen entwickelt hat (was ja heute wieder sehr kritisiert wird. Nur was uns da als "Ersatz" präsentiert wird, ist in meinen Augen oft nicht akzeptierbar). Was für andere in Ordnung geht, muss für mich/uns noch lange nicht richtig sein.

Es kann auch nicht angehen, dass jeder für sich persönlich entscheidet, was gut, richtig, moralisch in Ordnung und sittlich richtig ist. Wenn dies eine individuelle Entscheidung sein soll und nicht ein gesellschaftlicher Konsens über das, was wahr und richtig ist, kann das nur den moralischen Untergang jeder Gesellschaftsordnung bedeuten.

Ganz abgesehen davon: was will man eigentlich mit solchen Aussagen ausdrücken? Dass Jungen doch einmal Sex  mit anderen Jungen oder gar Männern haben sollen - sie würden dadurch schon nicht schwul? Dass etwas dadurch richtig wird, dass es andere auch tun?

Als Christen gründet sich unsere Vorstellung von Werten und Moral zuallererst auf die Bibel. Wir wissen, dass Gott uns liebt - und wenn er uns sagt, wir sollten bestimmte Dinge tun oder uns im Gegenzug ausdrücklich davor warnt, andere zu tun, dann nicht, weil Er uns gerne herum kommandiert, sondern weil Er uns liebt und vor möglichen Konsequenzen unseres Handelns bewahren will.

Und im Zweifelsfall glauben und vertrauen wir doch eher dem Schöpfer des Universums als dem, was andere uns glauben machen wollen. Dies ist eine persönliche Entscheidung unsererseits und wir verlangen keineswegs, dass jeder so denkt. Aber es ist unsere Entscheidung. Wir stehen dazu und werden diese auch öffentlich vertreten.

Wir schämen uns nicht unserer Werte - egal, was andere tun, denken oder sagen.


Was bedeutet Scham in Verbindung mit Homosexualität? Schämen sich Schwule dafür, dass sie so sind, wie sie sind?

Das ist hiermit nicht notwendigerweise gemeint. Zwar lässt sich durchaus bei vielen Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen in ihrer frühen Pubertät, wenn die ersten sexuellen und emotionalen Gefühle für Menschen des gleichen Geschelchts auftreten, feststellen, dass hier eine gewisse Scham auftritt und sich die Betroffenen oft innerst zutiefst dagegen sträuben. Dies lässt sich auch nicht einfach auf die Diskriminierung durch die Gesellschaft schieben. Viele junge Menschen, die dies durchmachen, weigern sich innerlich, ihre gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen einfach so anzunehmen und wollen nichts mehr, als heterosexuelle Neigungen zu entwickeln. Irgendwann geben sie diesen Kampf aber dann auf - unter anderem deshalb, weil die Gesellschaft ihnen ständig unter die Nase reibt, wie toll und normal es ist, diese Neigungen auszuleben - oder weil sie keine Unterstützung bei diesem inneren Kampf um ihre Identität gefunden haben.

Tatsächlich ist dieses Schamgefühl jedoch bereits vor den gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen vorhanden. Bereits sehr früh denken Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen, wenn mich jemand anderes so sehen könnte, wie ich wirklich bin, würde er/sie mich abweisen.

(Quelle: u.a. Dr. Joseph Nicolosi)

The Torah Declaration

The Torah Declaration is a public statement signed by 212 Rabbis, Community Leaders, and Mental Health Professionals

Declaration On The Torah Approach To Homosexuality
Societal Developments On Homosexuality

There has been a monumental shift in the secular world’s attitude towards homosexuality over the past few decades. In particular over the past fifteen years there has been a major public campaign to gain acceptance for homosexuality. Legalizing same-sex marriage has become the end goal of the campaign to equate homosexuality with heterosexuality.

A propaganda blitz has been sweeping the world using political tactics to persuade the public about the legitimacy of homosexuality. The media is rife with negative labels implying that one is “hateful” or “homophobic” if they do not accept the homosexual lifestyle as legitimate. This political coercion has silenced many into acquiescence. Unfortunately this attitude has seeped into the Torah community and many have become confused or have accepted the media’s portrayal of this issue.
The Torah’s Unequivocal And Eternal Message

The Torah makes a clear statement that homosexuality is not an acceptable lifestyle or a genuine identity by severely prohibiting its conduct. Furthermore, the Torah, ever prescient about negative secular influences, warns us in Vayikra (Leviticus) 20:23 “Do not follow the traditions of the nations that I expel from before you…” Particularly the Torah writes this in regards to homosexuality and other forbidden sexual liaisons.
Same-Sex Attractions Can Be Modified And Healed

From a Torah perspective, the question whether homosexual inclinations and behaviors are changeable is extremely relevant. The concept that G-d created a human being who is unable to find happiness in a loving relationship unless he violates a biblical prohibition is neither plausible nor acceptable. G-d is loving and merciful. Struggles, and yes, difficult struggles, along with healing and personal growth are part and parcel of this world. Impossible, life long, Torah prohibited situations with no achievable solutions are not.

We emphatically reject the notion that a homosexually inclined person cannot overcome his or her inclination and desire. Behaviors are changeable. The Torah does not forbid something which is impossible to avoid. Abandoning people to lifelong loneliness and despair by denying all hope of overcoming and healing their same-sex attraction is heartlessly cruel. Such an attitude also violates the biblical prohibition in Vayikra (Leviticus) 19:14 “and you shall not place a stumbling block before the blind.”
The Process Of Healing

The only viable course of action that is consistent with the Torah is therapy and teshuvah. The therapy consists of reinforcing the natural gender-identity of the individual by helping him or her understand and repair the emotional wounds that led to its disorientation and weakening, thus enabling the resumption and completion of the individual’s emotional development. Teshuvah is a Torah-mandated, self-motivated process of turning away from any transgression or sin and returning to G-d and one’s spiritual essence. This includes refining and reintegrating the personality and allowing it to grow in a healthy and wholesome manner.

These processes are typically facilitated and coordinated with the help of a specially trained counselor or therapist working in conjunction with a qualified spiritual teacher or guide. There is no other practical, Torah-sanctioned solution for this issue.
The Mitzvah Of Love And Compassion

It requires tremendous bravery and fortitude for a person to confront and deal with same-sex attraction. For example a sixteen-year-old who is struggling with this issue may be confused and afraid and not know whom to speak to or what steps to take. We must create an atmosphere where this teenager (or anyone) can speak freely to a parent, rabbi, or mentor and be treated with love and compassion. Authority figures can then guide same-sex strugglers towards a path of healing and overcoming their inclinations.

The key point to remember is that these individuals are primarily innocent victims of childhood emotional wounds. They deserve our full love, support and encouragement in their striving towards healing. Struggling individuals who seek health and wellness should not be confused with the homosexual movement and their agenda. This distinction is crucial. It reflects the difference between what G-d asks from all of us and what He unambiguously prohibits.

We need to do everything in our power to lovingly uplift struggling individuals towards a full and healthy life that is filled with love, joy and the wisdom of the Torah.


FAQ – Frequently Asked Questions on the Torah Declaration

1. How do we know that G-d did not create someone with a homosexual orientation that can not be changed?
2. What about individuals who claim that they have sincerely tried to heal through reparative therapy but were unsuccessful?
3. Why is teshuvah necessary? What if a person never acted on his desires?
4. Why don’t we hear more from people who have successfully gone through the process of reparative therapy?
5. If people are not born homosexual, what is the cause of their homosexual inclinations?
6. There are some that claim that Halacha only prohibits one homosexual act and that everything else is permitted. Is this true?
7. Why should Jewish people care about homosexual issues such as gay marriage for non-Jews?
8. Is the Torah Declaration implying that one who has gone to therapy will never struggle with this issue again?
9. How does the Torah Declaration define the words “Change” and “Overcome?”

Question 1:

It states in the Declaration, “The concept that G-d created a human being who is unable to find happiness in a loving relationship unless he violates a biblical prohibition is neither plausible nor acceptable. [Difficult struggles are part of this world, but]… Impossible, life long, Torah prohibited situations with no achievable solutions are not.”

How can you know for sure what G-d’s plan is for someone? People have all kinds of difficult lifelong struggles, how can you be sure that being an “unchangeable” homosexual is not part of G-d’s plan? Perhaps Hashem wants such a person to have a difficult life and nevertheless obey His commandments and stay celibate his entire life? How do you know that this is not one of the many difficult nisoyens (trials) that G-d sets out for people?

This is a very crucial question because it touches upon our core understanding of Hashem’s relationship with us. It also brings up the question of how much we can actually understand about suffering in this world. In order to have clarity on this issue we have to define the kinds of suffering we are talking about and break them into separate categories.

Let us start with two categories:

    Difficult situations where there is no desire that would violate Torah law, even if one falters due to his or her difficult circumstances.
    Difficult situations where if one falters there is a direct Torah violation.

Examples of situation 1 would be someone who was born blind, without a leg or perhaps has cancer (Hashem yerachim). Those are truly tragic and difficult circumstances that can affect a person’s entire life and greatly limit some of the things that many of us take for granted. However, as difficult as such a life may be, there is no inconsistency with living a Torah lifestyle. In fact there are special dispensations within halacha to deal with the blind, disabilities and the terminally ill that take into account their circumstances and to guide them halachicly.

In these situations there is no question of a compulsion to violate Biblically prohibited law. All the special circumstances are dealt with in a halachic framework. (I.E. doing a melacha (prohibited work) on Shabbos for a person with a medical emergency is not a Torah violation but rather a mitzvah, etc.)

Situation 2 would encompass someone born with a nature that will only be satisfied by committing a Biblically forbidden act. That could be someone born with an unchangeable murderous bloodthirsty nature or hypothetically if we say a person is born homosexual and can not change, then in both situations the person seemingly can ONLY find satisfaction by violating a Biblical prohibition.

We know this to be factually not possible based on the following Gemaras:

T.B. Avoda Zora 3a. “Because the Holy One, blessed be He, does not deal imperiously with His creatures.” The Gemara explains that Hashem does not play cruel tricks on His creatures and create impossible situations that would cause Torah violations.

The Chofetz Chaim uses this Gemara as an example why someone can not say that their desire for loshen hora is so strong that it can not be overcome. Hashem does not create impossible Torah situations that lead to violations.

So how do we explain someone who was born with a bloodthirsty nature? How is that not a cruel trick being played on a person? The following Gemara explains how that works:

T.B. Shabbos 156a
If one was born under Mazal Mars, he will spill blood;
Rav Ashi: He will be a bloodletter, bandit, slaughterer or Mohel. (He can channel his disposition for something neutral, for Aveiros, (negative) or for Mitzvos (positive).)

“The Vilna Gaon in Even Shelaima 1:7, building on T.B. Shabbat 156a, implies that every [inborn] drive has some form of outlet that is acceptable within Torah.”
[This Vilna Gaon quote is from Nishma.org]

The following is a direct quote from a public letter written on July 4th 2008 by Rav Shmuel Kamenetsky regarding homosexuality:

“Our Sages teach us that every human being is capable of changing for the better. Those who make the false claim that human beings cannot change their tendencies are comparing them to animals. Indeed it may be very difficult to change one’s nature, but it is definitely possible if one so desires.”

From these sources we see that situation 2, where someone is born with an inborn unchangeable drive to violate Biblical law is not possible. Hashem does not play tricks by saying something is forbidden, and then creating people with a drive that only can be expressed with what He has forbidden to them. However, other struggles like situation 1 are possible and do not cause impossible Torah situations.

Question 2:

Can everyone change their homosexual inclinations? What about individuals who claim that they have sincerely tried to heal through reparative therapy but were unsuccessful?

Not everyone succeeds with their current therapy, but everyone is capable of healing. This statement is true for most struggles that humans deal with. Whether it is drug or alcohol addiction, weight loss, anorexia, depression or any other human struggle. There will always be individuals who don’t succeed with their therapy, but it’s not because they are not capable of healing, rather they may just not be in the right space to achieve healing yet. For some it requires hitting rock bottom to be in that space. For others they may just not have yet been in a space to release certain blocks.

This is not about blame in any way, but rather the reality of why some people succeed and some people don’t. The fact that a person has not yet achieved healing, even after major effort, is not proof that they can’t eventually achieve healing, or that they should stop trying.

For example there is one individual who was 100 pounds overweight for most of his life. He struggled for 40 years with diets but was never able to successfully keep any weight loss beyond a short period of time. Then at 50 he finally lost the 100 pounds and 10 years later he has still kept the weight off.

This individual sincerely wanted to lose weight all his life. His not succeeding for 40 years does not mean he is not capable of success. It means that he was not in the right emotional/mental space to fully deal with the blocks that he had that were preventing success.

Each of these situations are unique and may be different than Same-Sex Attraction (SSA). However, all issues that require healing or therapy have in common that many people succeed in achieving their goals and others don’t.

To bring it back to SSA, one person struggled through therapy for SSA for seven years before achieving success. Can he have said after 5 years of major struggle that he is one of those individuals who can never change? At what point can we say that a person can’t deal with SSA successfully and should give up therapy? Perhaps an extended break is warranted or trying different techniques, but how can we tell the world that it is okay for some people to give up trying? How can there be any other message than everyone is capable of healing?

When it comes to homosexuality from a Torah perspective there is no other option other than healing. The Torah commands us to seek health and wellness and to repair, refine and elevate any aspect of ourselves that conflict with the Torah. For some it may be a short term struggle, for others a longer term struggle. Either way no one is exempt from continuously striving for healing and living a kosher Torah lifestyle.

Question 3:

The Declaration states that the process of healing is therapy and teshuvah. However, someone who has same-sex attractions but has never acted on it has done nothing wrong. Doesn’t including teshuvah imply that he has done something wrong, just by having those feelings?

The Declaration is very sensitive to this concern and specifically worded it very carefully. The main focus in the declaration of the concept of teshuvah is as a holistic process of reintegration. Within the concept of teshuvah it is a two part process. The first as it states is, “turning away from any transgression or sin.” If someone has committed a transgression then the first step is to stop that activity. If someone has not committed any transgressions then this part does not apply to him at all.

The second and most crucial part of teshuva is healing as the document states about the process of teshuvah, “This includes refining and reintegrating the personality and allowing it to grow in a healthy and wholesome manner.” Teshuvah is about a process of returning to ones true self and that is what is emphasized in the declaration. This applies to anyone who has same-sex attractions, regardless if they have acted upon it or not.

This fits well with Rabbi Yosef Serebryanski’s explanation of the roots of Teshuvah:

“The word T’shuvah is composed of two words, “Tashuv” and the letter “Hey”. This means returning to Hashem. It has nothing to do with negative or bad, it is simply each person restoring their open connection and flow directly with Hashem - the source of all life and existence.”

We asked over twenty individuals who have struggled with this issue how they feel about the “Process of healing” paragraph and not one had an issue with it. They understood that this is not about “blame” but rather about a process of personal reintegration and returning to one’s true nature.

In fact in the final section we specifically stressed that someone struggling with this is an “innocent victim.” As the Declaration states, “The key point to remember is that these individuals are primarily innocent victims of childhood emotional wounds.”

Question 4:

Why don’t we hear more from people who have successfully gone through the process of reparative therapy?

In the Torah Observant world there is a whole network of frum individuals who have gone through reparative therapy and have overcome their same-sex attractions. Many of these brave individuals are now married with their wives full knowledge and support and are upstanding members of Klal Yisrael living lives filled with kedusha and consistent with the Torah. These individuals are just like everyone else. Why would they want to publicize a difficult and private struggle in their lives?

Despite this, many of these brave souls know how important it is to bring awareness to this subject and are willing to privately share their personal struggles, the healing and therapeutic techniques and the joy and equanimity that successful change has brought to their lives. They have agreed to speak privately with anyone who is either struggling themselves with this issue or with a Rabbi, teacher, or community leader who needs more information about this issue.

If you fit into either of these two categories and would like to speak to someone who has successfully overcome their SSA, please email us with your specific situation and we can have someone contact you to discuss it further.

Question 5:

If people are not born homosexual, what is the cause of their homosexual inclinations?

The Gemara in Nedarim 51a states that To’eivah (abomination) translates as To’eh attah bah – you are mistaken or being misled with this (in our case with homosexual inclination).

The most widely accepted theory, among those with the most experience in helping individuals heal, as to the root cause of homosexuality is that something has gone awry in childhood development. There are many possibilities and combinations of factors that may lead to same sex attraction. From emotional or sexual abuse, to having a sensitive nature while not being able to properly bond with a father figure or male peers. There may be other issues as well, but the underlying factor is that this developmental deficiency with male bonding may manifest in a desire to connect with males in an inappropriate sexualized way.

One of the standard lines from homosexual activists is that they would never choose this voluntarily. They are correct in the sense that it was not a conscience choice to develop same sex attractions, but it is a conscience choice whether one chooses to heal from the underlying issue. No one consciously chooses to be overweight, but it is a choice and a possibility to lose weight and to deal with the emotional factors that lead to overeating. Just because one does not consciously choose a struggle or difficulty, does not mean that one can’t choose to heal from it.

For more information you can watch this excellent 16 minute video that gives a detailed and easy to understand explanation of some of the root causes of homosexuality and how it develops in childhood.


Question 6:

There are some that claim that Halacha only prohibits one homosexual act and that everything else is permitted. Is this true?

According to the Rambam and the Shulchan Aruch prohibited homosexual activity includes any non-platonic physical contact; even yichud (seclusion) with someone of the same gender is forbidden for homosexually active individuals.

Rambam Hilchos Isurei Biah 21:1,2; 22:1,2. See also Shulchan Aruch Even HoEzer 24

Question 7:

Why should Jewish people care about homosexual issues such as gay marriage for non-Jews?

Homosexuality is forbidden for all people, including non-Jews, by the Seven Noahide Laws. The Rambam (Maimonides) is explicit that the prohibition of sexual immorality in the Noahide laws specifically includes homosexuality.

Rambam, Mishneh Torah, in Sefer Shoftim, Hilkhoth Melakhim u’Milhamotheihem 9:7- 11

9:7 – “There are six types of sexual acts forbidden to a ben Noah: Intercourse with one’s mother, with one’s father’s wife (who is not one’s mother, i.e.: step mother), with another man’s wife, with one’s sister who has the same mother, with another male, with an animal…”

Another Torah source that explicitly mentions homosexual marriage is the Midrash Rabba which states that homosexual marriage was the ‘straw that broke the camels back’ and brought the Great Flood to the world:

“Rabbi Huna said in the name of Rebbi: The generation of the flood were not wiped out from the world until [men] were writing marriage contracts to males and to beasts.” (Midrash Rabba Breishis 26:5)

Question 8:

Is the Torah Declaration implying that one who has gone to therapy will never struggle with this issue again?

Deeply ingrained psychological or emotional issues are the root cause of people acting out in various unhealthy ways, be they addictions, alcoholism, obesity, or homosexuality, all of which are difficult to overcome. Being committed to healing the underlying issue with the help of therapy and supportive family and friends is a major step in the healing process.

However, ALL psychological issues, even after successful therapy, require continued emotional health and stability to maintain. As a person goes through life and he or she is subjected to trying or difficult times, some of those feelings may resurface. That is why, for example, an alcoholic may attend a support group or have a personal “sponsor” even after being sober for 10 years.

Paying proper attention to our emotional and mental health, which includes appropriate dietary habits, sleeping patterns and a network of supportive friends and family, is important for everyone and particularly crucial for those who have undergone therapy for major life issues. Without a commitment to continued mental and emotional health and well being, anyone who has undergone therapy for ANY issue is at risk of recidivism.

The following relevant excerpt comes from Dr. Bentzion Sorotzkin Psy.D. website:

    “The fact that overcoming SSA [Same-Sex Attraction] is indeed difficult and is often only achieved imperfectly is also cited as evidence of the unchangeable nature of sexual orientation thus making the apparent change not authentic. This claim is absurd! All psychological problems are difficult to change. Is it easy to help someone improve his self-esteem? Or to develop confidence? Or to overcome years of abuse? When the person makes progress, do we belittle his progress because he is still struggling? And if he improves with his issue 90%, do we not see this as a tremendous success even though vestiges of his problem remain? Why is the treatment of SSA held to such ridiculous and illogical and dramatically different standards than other areas of psychotherapy? Only because of a political agenda, it seems.”

Question 9:

How does the Torah Declaration define the words “Change” and “Overcome?”

In terms of the word “Overcome” the following is the dictionary definition:


    Succeed in dealing with (a problem or difficulty).
    To get the better of [a difficulty] in a struggle or conflict

“To succeed in dealing with” or “to get the better of” any kind of struggle does not necessarily mean that the issue with which one is dealing has been wiped away forever. The definition of the word “overcome” does not contradict that one may still have to deal with the issue in difficult times throughout life. How one is able to “overcome” an issue is totally dependent upon the depth of the initial wounds and his/her ability to take care of him/her self in the future. In this context, the word “overcome” simply means that with therapy people can overcome their block in an area of life that would otherwise prevent them from achieving their goals. Moreover, it will enable them to live a Torah-true lifestyle, with a supportive spouse and children.

The same applies to the dictionary definition of the word “Change:”


    Any variation or alteration; a passing from one state or form to another; as, a change of countenance; a change of habits or principles.
    To be altered; to undergo variation; as, men sometimes change for the better.

Reparative therapy or Gender affirming processes involves changing one’s inner sense of gender identity and changing the response patterns that may lead to a desire to act out in ways that are forbidden by the Torah.

Rav Shmuel Kamenetsky explains that “everyone is capable of overcoming an inclination that is prohibited by the Torah.” (Hakirah: The Flatbush Journal of Jewish Law and Thought, Volume 12, Fall, 2011, p. 33.) The Rosh Yeshiva went on to explain the concept of “change” and how two separate and distinct types of “change” relevant to mishkav zachar [homosexuality] may occur:

    virtual elimination of the thoughts, feelings, and behavior, or
    significant decrease of the desire, combined with knowledge of the tools necessary to redirect one's feelings if the desire returns.

He recognized that every person faces challenges of one sort or another but as humans we have been given by our Creator the capacity to overcome them. (Hakirah, p. 33)

In other words, changing one’s life does not necessarily mean that one will never struggle with this issue in the future. It doesn’t mean that one has to resolve all his/her inner gender conflicts before he/she can be considered “changed.” That process may take time, patience, and continued work. What does change more immediately, however, is one’s outlook on life and one’s ability to maintain healthy heterosexual relationships.

To sum up, an alcoholic who has been sober for a number of years has overcome their destructive patterns and changed their lifestyle to a productive and healthy one. The same understanding applies to obesity, other addictions and same-sex attractions.

(Source: The Torah Declaration: http://www.torahdec.org/FAQs.aspx#Q3. Used with permission)


Links National

Dr. Christian Spaemann (Psychiater und Psychotherapeut): Anmerkungen zum Thema Homosexualität

Homosexualität verstehen: http://www.hv-cv.de/

Wikipedia: Ichdystone Sexualorientierung



Here are some of the books by Joe Dallas some articles on this homepage are based on. We recommend to buy them:

When Homosexuality Hits Home: What to Do When a Loved One Says They're Gay [Paperback]
Joe Dallas (Author)
Paperback: 192 pages
Publisher: Harvest House Publishers (July 15, 2004)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 9780736912013
ISBN-13: 978-0736912013
ASIN: 0736912010

Desires in Conflict: Hope for Men Who Struggle with Sexual Identity [Paperback]
Joe Dallas (Author)
Paperback: 256 pages
Publisher: Harvest House Publishers; Upd Sub edition (July 1, 2003)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 9780736912112
ISBN-13: 978-0736912112
ASIN: 0736912118

The Gay Gospel?: How Pro-Gay Advocates Misread the Bible [Paperback]
Joe Dallas (Author)
Paperback: 272 pages
Publisher: Harvest House Publishers; annotated edition edition (February 1, 2007)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0736918345
ISBN-13: 978-0736918343

A Strong Delusion [Paperback]
Joe Dallas (Author)
Paperback: 245 pages
Publisher: Harvest House Publishers (September 1996)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1565074319
ISBN-13: 978-1565074316

The Game Plan: The Men's 30-Day Strategy for Attaining Sexual Integrity [Paperback]
Joe Dallas (Author)
Paperback: 256 pages
Publisher: Thomas Nelson; 1 edition (July 19, 2005)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0849906334
ISBN-13: 978-0849906336

The Complete Christian Guide to Understanding Homosexuality: A Biblical and Compassionate Response to Same-Sex Attraction [Paperback]
Joe Dallas (Author), Nancy Heche (Author)
Paperback: 512 pages
Publisher: Harvest House Publishers (July 1, 2010)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0736925074
ISBN-13: 978-0736925075

(see also our resources page)

You don't need to bring us Jesus!

Yes, we've been gone for so long. We've been outsiders - and still are. "The marginalized" you call us - and you use us to knock off your loving the unlovable off the list. You want to bring Jesus to us hookers, pimps, inmates, gays, drug addicts, homeless and what not. We don't need you to bring us Jesus so you feel better and can tap yourselves on your shoulders. Jesus is already here. Yes, we left our old lives behind, but we are still "we" - and that's alright with God. We went to those nice and fancy church buildings where they all asemble - all those nicely dressed people, some of which we knew too well from their double lives. They "welcome" us, but all the time they let us feel they are something better - and we are not.
Oh, they certainly know how to hide that behind spiritually or wanna-be-psychologically sounding phrases - "You might want to pray about...", "Don't take it personal, but...", "A Christian does not say/wear/do this/does not listen to this music...", "This looks like you're still gay/a hooker/a drug addict/a criminal..." - you get the point.

Then you wonder why so many call Christians hypocrite. Because many of you are. We sure don't need churches and Christians like these and we can smell your true attitude a mile away. This is why we feel much better among our own. Yes, we are Christians now - and certainly not worse ones than you are - and this is why our folks love us like we are. No "but" attached. And vice versa. We do not have to look like a middle class American John Doe in his suit and tie to worship the Lord. We dress up for Him - but that might look different than what you know. Who are you to tell us we should pray about our behavior - meaning to say you are standing on your hill, pretending to be God and having all the truth in the world. You are a sinner like the rest of us, not better, not worse.

When we follow Jesus, we are dead serious about it. We see you spreading much "wisdom" on facebook and telling everybody what should be done - but when we ask you to join us going out on the street to all those wild places where you find those people Jesus loves so much, you give us a trillion excuses why you cannot come along. Teary-eyed snowflakes, that's what you are. Chicken. Your house is not built on a rock and your seed fell among thorns.

So with all of our heart we tell you: Keep on doing whatever you think you should be doing, but leave us and our likes alone. We don't need you. We need Jesus - and we assemble for and with Him and we go to meet Him. Actually, it is pretty easy. He assembled twelve simple men called apostles and told them on the Sermon of the Mount the basics of what a believer in God is all about. This is what we go by.

We have two words for you:

Bless you.


David Kyle Foster: What's the primary cause for male homosexuality?

Mario Bergner - Homosexualities

Keys to Understanding Male Homosexuality

We Cannot Help Who We Are Attracted To

Homosexuality: Choice or Consequence?
Written By Ben Newman

Gay sympathizers insist that homosexuality is not a choice. On this point I completely agree. It is not a choice. No man I know or have heard of who deals with homosexuality, whether they reject and struggle against it or embrace it with pride, feels like they ever chose these desires.

It is not a choice, it is a consequence -- an unintended consequence of a lifetime of choices -- conscious, subconscious and unconscious. It is an unfortunate but natural consequence of choices made by a growing boy that were intended only to protect himself against rejection and hurt, to make himself feel safe, and to do what seemed most natural.

One can hardly fault a little boy for running away from male peers he felt were taunting and frightening and for preferring the company of girls he felt were accepting and easy-going. One can hardly fault a little boy for rejecting and protecting himself from a seemingly cold or harsh or absent or disinterested father, or for expressing his naturally artistic and sensitive talents while rejecting what for him are the frightening, unfamiliar and uncomfortable rough-and-tumble games of boyhood. After all, he is only trying to take care of himself, feel safe and be true to himself, as best as an innocent (and unguided) little boy knows how.

Little does he know that all of these perfectly understandable and innocent choices, in combination, and without intervention, can lead to horrendous unintended consequences. These choices can ultimately cause him to fail to discover his innate masculinity, fail to bond with his gender, and fail to develop a healthy gender identity as a man among men. And unable to find his own masculinity within, he can begin to seek it outside of himself, to envy it in other boys and men, and finally to lust for it sexually. His choices can have the
very unintended consequence of causing him to see himself as the opposite of men -- to see other men as the opposite sex. And so, being their opposite, he naturally feels drawn to them sexually to give himself that sense of completeness, wholeness, balance and
oneness that sexuality is designed to provide.

The problem is, many (perhaps most or even all?) men never really find in homosexual relationships that sense of completeness and balance that they long for, because in homosexuality they give away their masculinity to their partner. They turn to another man to fill the masculine emptiness within themselves. And though they may feel maleness for a moment outside of themselves, and revel in being able to touch it externally for a moment, they are left feeling even more detached from their own inner masculinity and void of a sense of maleness they have been craving all their lives.

The question to the now-grown man becomes, what will you do with this history of choices and their unintended but inextricably attached consequences? No one I have ever heard of has been able to simply choose to stop feeling homosexual desires -- after all, the desires
aren't chosen, they are the result of a web of other, more primal choices. You can't unchoose the consequences while continuing to make the same original choices.

Nor can you change past choices you have already made. That is your history and must be accepted. But that doesn't limit you to make the same choices now, in the present. This is the terrifying, thrilling, exciting and satisfying part of homosexual recovery -- learning to
make all-new choices about the kind of man you will be now, the way you see yourself as a man, the way you see other men, the way you relate to men in your life, the way you relate to the world of men, and the way you see women and relate to women.

Today, as a grown man with much greater understanding about choices and their consequence, as a grown man with many resources for support to turn to, and not as a hurt and needy little boy, you can make different choices. Healthy choices. Constructive choices. Empowering choices.

Perhaps you will choose to work on no longer rejecting your father outright and instead to find the good in him that you can embrace and, yes, even accept as a role model. Perhaps you will choose to work on no longer seeing heterosexual men as destructive and
frightening, or no longer rejecting the entire masculine realm out of hurt and spite. Perhaps you will choose to work on overcoming defensive detachment, or no longer running from meaningful relationships with heterosexual men. Perhaps you will choose to begin to focus on your similarities with other men instead of your differences.

These new attitudes and beliefs and ways of relating will take time to learn and to develop. This is a chosen path of careful and deliberate reconstruction of the inner self. You will be ridding yourself of the long-established and familiar attitudes and beliefs and character traits and ways of being with others that have had negative consequences in your life, or the outcomes you don't want, and instead embracing and developing those that have positive consequences in your life, or the outcomes you do want.

(By emphasizing that these things can be chosen, I don't mean to suggest that change is a moment in time. The decision to pursue change might be, but the change itself -- as anyone who has ever pursued personal growth or enlightenment knows -- can take months or years or a lifetime.)

Then, as real change begins to take effect, the consequences will inevitably follow: You will discover a sense of inner male power and innate masculinity you previously only saw in others. Men will eventually stop appearing to be the opposite sex from you. You will
begin to see heterosexual men as your peers and will begin to identify with them in a bond of brotherhood as you never have before. And as your masculine identity develops, your desire to connect sexually and romantically with your opposite will gradually, quietly begin to turn from the men you once saw as the opposite sex to the women (or a woman) that you, as a firmly grounded man, now recognize as your true opposite.

So as a man among men, what new choices will you begin to make today?

http://www.northridgerochester.com/messages/the-church-and-homosexuality/rethinking-our-responses/If you've ever read any of Matt Moore's articles, you'll enjoy his testimony at the beginning of this video.

Posted by Pure Passion on Sonntag, 5. Juli 2015
How to define "homosexuality"? It is a predominant, long-lasting sexual AND emotional attraction towards members of the same sex. Thus "homosexuality" in and of itself is not sinful - homosexual acts or deliberate seeking of homosexual lust is. Having said that, now comes point number two: There is no such thing as "homosexuality". God has createad each and everyone (!) heterosexual. There is no sexuality other than heterosexuality. Yes, there are people who experience same-sex attractions - for whatever reason. That makes them heterosexuals with same-sex attractions, not "homosexuals" or "gays/lesbians". BIG difference. Having come out of the gay life myself almost ten years ago (yipieeee - thank you, Lord!!), I can only confirm how important and helpful that way of looking at myself was for me. It made all the difference - and changed the focus of my life away from the gay life towards my true self as a child of God. There are so many gifts I discovered in me ever since that I had not ever known they existed before or that I had neglected. I am far from being "lonely" now - to be honest, I was very lonely in my gay life. Now I have a fulfilled life as a follower of Jesus Christ. Have I ever regretted my decision to leave the gay life? Not a second. How could I possibly regret leaving the quick fix for my hurts and needs and the fake version of myself to find true satisfaction looking at the One in whose image I was created!! Robert.

Feed design by pfalzonline.de


The only reason why people don't find freedom from same-sex attractions is because they don't believe it can be done!

Feed design by pfalzonline.de

Scaring the crap out of people?

Sometimes we tend to think that scaring the crap out of people by letting them know about possible health issues like sexually transmitted diseases, cancer and the like resulting from men having sex with men is enough to keep them or their loved ones away from same-sex encounters. Is it really?

First and upfront: It certainly is necessary to do so. Few parents who adhere to the idea that when gay groups tell their kids at school how good and wonderful and normal the gay life actually is, know about the other side. Gay activists have a hard time explaining that side, as it is obvious that it is not a “homophobic” society that they can blame for that, but the way especially gay men have sex with one another. Also those who think about doing so themselves or who are already involved in the gay scene should get a detailed idea of what can and does happen. At best in real life: Seeing someone suffer takes a lot away from the “gay” life.

The problem is: Is this enough?

Read my lips: NO. This tactic alone never works. Just look at all the things they write on cigarette packages. That might shy away some, but who really wants to go for it, knows all of that – and smokes anyway. If we focus on scaring the crap out of people, then what happens is that “safer sex” campaigns will be pushed. Put on a condom and all is fine. Aside from the fact that a condom does not prevent all diseases, not even all contagious diseases, we start at the end if we do so. As the saying goes: A stiff --- doesn’t have a conscience. Once you’re horny and had some beers or once you are naked in a bathhouse you might or you might not put on a condom. Even if you do – there are diseases, emotional, relational and spiritual consequences a condom cannot protect you from. Why not addressing same-sex acts the same way we should address many other issues in society: By going back to the roots. If we raise godly children, tell them about sexuality and family the way God sees them and keep those moral standards ourselves, they will not even get to the point where they need a condom at first place. The 60s with their “sexual revolution” have done away with traditional Christian family values uphold for centuries – and replaced them with nothing. Almost everything goes – and the boundaries and taboos are being pushed further almost each year. Even gender identities are not safe from being open for discussion and “change”. Moral relativism reigns – we all are gods. No wonder we are in trouble.

We need to love people with same-sex attractions the way Christ loves them and we also need to tell them the truth in love and show them a better alternative. Through our own lives and example we should let Christ become present in us so others want Him too. Sex isn’t just “good” or “fun”. Sex is holy – meant for the good of two heterosexual spouses in a lifetime monogamous marriage and also to produce the most wonderful gift on earth: children. Everything (!) else – including inappropriate heterosexual acts – falls short of that ideal and will have consequences no condom can protect you from.

So to cut a long story short: It is not an “either/or”, but an “and”. Yes, we need to show people where it can lead to if they turn their face away from the loving Father who does not tell them what to do or not to do because He can, but because He loves us and knows about the consequences of our running away from Him. But shying away from the bad is not enough –we need to show them where to run to afterwards. “Just say NO!” is a pretty poor guideline for those involved. We better let people know what to say “YES!” to – and why.


HA: New Homepage!

Homosexuals Anonymous has a new homepage:


Is Change Possible?

To make it very clear: Yes, the Jason ministry definitely believes that change is possible. We believe in God and His power to change our hearts and minds.

Matthew 19:26 King James Version (KJV):

"26 But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible."

"Whoever says that a person with SSA cannot change does not know my God."

Pastor Paul

Oceania and Africa

Thanks to the outstanding service and commitment of Pastor Paul, we were able to expand our ministry in Oceania, Africa and Asia. For more information please click here.

Was ist das eigentlich, "Homosexualitaet"?

Kurz gesagt, die Tatsache, dass sich jemand überwiegend und über einen längeren Zeitraum hinweg in sexueller und/oder emotionaler Hinsicht zum eigenen Geschlecht hingezogen fühlt. Wir bevorzugen aber den Begriff "gleichgeschlechtliche Neigungen". Zum einen ist der Begriff "Homosexualität" (als eigenständige Form der Sexualität) noch gar nicht so alt. In klinischer Hinsicht konzentriert er sich vor allem auf die sexuelle Anziehung, was jedoch zu kurz gegriffen ist, da man hier die emotionale Zuneigung außer Acht lässt. Zum anderen sind wir als Christen der Überzeugung, dass es nur eine Gott-gegebene Form der Sexualität gibt - und das ist die Heterosexualität. Ja, es gibt Menschen, die - aus welchen Gründen auch immer (und seien sie "genetisch") - gleichgeschlechtlich empfinden, wir sehen dies aber nicht als eine eigenständige Identität, sondern als Teil der Heterosexualität an. Dies bedeutet keine Abwertung von Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen oder eine Minder-Bewertung unseres Empfindens - ganz im Gegenteil. Wir sehen uns als Teil von etwas, das größer ist als wir (Gottes heterosexuelle Schöpfung) und sind weder besser noch schlechter als andere Menschen noch sehen wir uns als etwas Besonderes an und blicken auch nicht auf die herab, die ihre gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen ausleben. Auch konzentriert sich unser Leben nicht auf unser sexuelles und/oder emotionales Empfinden, sondern auf den, dem wir nachfolgen und der uns eine teuer erkaufte Freiheit geschenkt hat, damit auch wir frei sein können: Jesus Christus.

Homosexuals Anonymous

Jason is affiliated to Homosexuals Anonymous:



Dr. med. R. Febres Landauro



Ich freue mich auf Ihren Anruf oder Ihre E-mail. Sie brauchen keine Überweisung.

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Douglas McIntyre, Co-Founder of HA

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Sie dürfen sich jederzeit - auf Wunsch auch anonym - an uns wenden. Sämtliche Anfragen werden vertraulich behandelt.

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Wir freuen uns auf Sie!

The 14 Steps

1. We admitted that we were powerless over our homosexuality and that our emotional lives were unmanageable.

2. We came to believe the love of God, who forgave us and accepted us in spite of all that we are and have done.

3. We learned to see purpose in our suffering, that our failed lives were under God's control, who is able to bring good out of trouble.

4. We came to believe that God had already broken the power of homosexuality and that He could therefore restore our true personhood.

5. We came to perceive that we had accepted a lie about ourselves, an illusion that had trapped us in a false identity.

6. We learned to claim our true reality that as humankind, we are part of God's heterosexual creation and that God calls us to rediscover that identity in Him through Jesus Christ, as our faith perceives Him.

7. We resolved to entrust our lives to our loving God and to live by faith, praising Him for our new unseen identity, confident that it would become visible to us in God's good time.

8. As forgiven people free from condemnation, we made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves, determined to root out fear, hidden hostility, and contempt for the world.

9. We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs and humbly asked God to remove our defects of character.

10. We willingly made direct amends wherever wise and possible to all people we had harmed.

11. We determined to live no longer in fear of the world, believing that God's victorious control turns all that is against us into our favor, bringing advantage out of sorrow and order from disaster.

12. We determined to mature in our relationships with men and women, learning the meaning of a partnership of equals, seeking neither dominance over people nor servile dependency on them.

13. We sought through confident praying, and the wisdom of Scripture for an ongoing growth in our relationship with God and a humble acceptance of His guidance for our lives.

14. Having had a spiritual awakening, we tried to carry this message to homosexual people with a love that demands nothing and to practice these steps in all our lives' activities, as far as lies within us.

While the Homosexuals Anonymous Fellowship was inspired by the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, they are not really an adaptation. Rather, they were created specifically for this Fellowship, and should not be construed otherwise. AA, which is a program concerned only with recovery from alcoholism, and is not in any way affiliated with this Fellowship.

Homosexuals Anonymous

Arthur Goldberg

Homosexuals Anonymous

Homosexuals Anonymous Fellowship Services



Homosexuals Anonymous is an international organization dedicated to serving the recovery needs of men and women who struggle with unwanted same sex attraction.

This fellowship of men and women, who through their common spiritual, intellectual and emotional experiences have chosen to help each other live in freedom from homosexuality.

Welcome to our website

If you are a person who struggles with unwanted same sex attraction, you are not alone Homosexuals Anonymous and many other related ministries, counselors and therapists provide valuable resources that can be of great use to you.

Remember always that while no one chooses to have same sex attraction, many do choose to diminish and eliminate those feelings of attraction. All people have the right to self determination, the right to choose for themselves the aspects that comprise their identity. Through HA, you will meet many people who see their identity as being rooted in their faith and not in their unwanted desires and behaviors.

If you are a parent, relative or friend of someone who struggles with unwanted same sex attraction, you can find helpful resources they will appreciate.

If you are a parent, friend or relative of someone who embraces and lives a gay lifestyle, you can find support, encouragement and hope in the material you will find available to you in website. If you are interested in online support groups or forming a local parents support group, please contact us and let us know how we can serve you.

If you are a minister, counselor or therapist looking for a support group and other resources to serve the needs of a counselee wanting freedom from homosexuality, then please read through our website. In your exploration you will learn who we are and how we can help you.

New Book by Dr. Douglas McIntyre!

Broken Chains: A journey of recovery from ssa, anger, addiction and child abuse

Dr. Douglas E. McIntyre (Author)

Paperback: 80 pages

Publisher: CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform (December 19, 2012)

Language: English

ISBN-10: 1481265334

ISBN-13: 978-1481265331

Get it here: http://www.amazon.com/Broken-Chains-journey-recovery-addiction/dp/1481265334/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1356982439&sr=1-1&keywords=broken+chains+douglas+mcintyre

Seek Me!

Jeremiah 29:13

King James Version (KJV)

"And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart."


My King

Funny thing, if I remember correctly there once used to be a rabbi who did not have any business plan for church mega-growth. No publicity department. No homepage. No emails. No money. Even those He chose as followers were - theologically speaking - illiterates. A handful of dudes, and one even was a bum.

What was He thinking?

When He preached, He used words that drove people away from Him. He couldn't care less. He even asked the remaining rest if they wanted to leave, too. No political correctness here.

Again: What was He thinking?

He could have used other means. He could have been the kind of leader that people back then (and today?) were waiting for. The mighty warlord. The knight in shining armour. The one that kicks some .... and throws those Romans out.

Yes, He could have. He had all the power to do that - and more than that. And what did He do? He dealt with the lowest of the lowest and humbled Himself to their level. He loved people in a way unknown before. With a love that asked for nothing and gave everything. With a love that puts us to shame even today.

He did not fulfill people's expectations. He did not give them what they wanted. He gave them what they truly needed. And to do so, He gave His utmost: He sacrificed Himself and gave His life so we can live. He came down on earth to become man so men could become sons of God. Dying on the cross like a criminal, He even prayed for those who helped nailing Him up there.

And what's worst: He even asked everything of His disciples. They were told to give - no: to sacrifice! - everything they have. To sell all of their possessions, give their money to the poor and follow Him without even looking back. They were even told to give their own lives!

I guess He would still be sort of out of place in some of the churches today.

If I remember correctly, His name was Jesus.

Anybody by chance remember Him?

He is the ruler of my life. He is the one I love and follow.

He is my king.

My saviour.




theWord Bible Software

I Have Decided to Follow Jesus

"I have decided to follow Jesus. Though no one joins me, still I will follow."

Assam, north-east India, who held on to Jesus when being told to recounce his faith by the village chief. His wife was killed and Assam as well - while he was singing these words: "The cross before me, the world behind me." His strong faith kept on shining: The village chief and others in the village converted afterwards. (see: Wikipedia)


Freedom from SSA


there are many professionals who are able to scientifically explain to you how to find freedom from same-sex attractions.

I am a simple man so I will try to tell you in simple terms.

Imagine a father who wants to teach his son how to ride a bike. He will not give him a lesson on the functioning of each single part, where it came from and what it is made of. Nor will he lecture on how the human body works and how the mind coordinates things. He loves his sonny and wants him to be able to ride that bike on his own.

Of course, he could let him continue to ride with additional wheels, but this is not what the father wants. Daddy knows that his son will likely fall a couple of times. There will be tears and some pain as well. But as a loving father he buys his son a bike and takes him out to teach him how to ride.

Now the son does not expect a big lesson or a manual to start with. Yes, he might be somewhat scared as he does not know what to expect and how to handle this bike without additional wheels that keep it stable. But he knows that he can fully trust his father. He loves his daddy more than anything - and daddy loves him. So he takes a courageous first step and lets daddy show him how to do it.

Daddy will fist be there all the time to hold his son while he rides. However, step by step he will let him run a little bit on his own.

Sonny will ride this first bits all shaky and insecure, but then again he trusts his daddy, so he manages to do it - sort of.

Sometimes he will fall and have his knee scratched. Tears will roll down his cheek, but daddy will hold him im his arms and encourage him to take another effort.

Day by day little sonny will drive a little longer all by himself, until he finally manages to ride that bike completely alone. Daddy will be so proud of his son and his son will come running into his arms, thanking his beloved daddy for keeping his promise to be there all the time when things were getting rough on him. Daddy told him that he will ride that bike and all his little son had to do is to trust him just enough that he goes for it.

Sometimes all that keeps us from succeeding is the lack of belief that it can be done.