Jason

Christian Ex-Gay Ministry

Ansprechen - aber wie

Wie spreche ich Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen an?



(Quelle: u.a. Material von Joe Dallas)


Wie spreche ich mit jemand, der gleichgeschlechtliche Neigungen hat, ohne ihn gleich zu verjagen?

Keinesfalls solltest du hingehen und sagen: "Hey, ich glaube, du bist schwul, stimmt's?".

Informiere dich zunächst über das Thema. Welche Faktoren können zur Homosexualität beitragen? Es geht nicht nur um die Sexualität an sich, sondern um die zugrunde liegenden Probleme. (Empfohlene Literatur: "You don't have to be gay" von Jeff Konrad). Jugendliche kannst du etwa auf bestimmte Verhaltensweisen ansprechen, die man bei ihnen beobachtet (Jungs, die dauernd bei Mädchen sitzen etwa). Fühlen sie sich in Gegenwart von anderen Jungs etwa niicht wohl/willkommen? Wie sieht es mit den Familienverhältnissen / dem gleichgeschlechtlichen Elternteil aus? Ist man mit der Person (Frau oder Mann) sehr vertraut, kann man auch versuchen, nach Vergangenem zu fragen (körperlicher, seelischer, verbaler, sexueller Missbrauch, Kindheit allgemein etc.) - verbunden mit dem Angebot, jederzeit für ein Gespräch bereit zu sein.

Hilfreich ist es, wenn du erstmal zeige, dass mir dieser Mensch etwas bedeutet - egal, was er tut oder getan hat. Verbringe Zeit mit ihm/ihr! Zeig ihm/ihr, dass du Interesse an seinen/ihrer Gefühlen und Ansichten hast! Wenn er/sie sich beginnt, zu öffnen, öffne auch du dich ein Stück! Sprich nie abfällig über Homosexuelle oder mache Witze darüber. Sollte die Sprache dann auf dieses Thema kommen, mache klar, dass du als Christ das Ausleben von Homosexualität - ebenso wie andere sexuelle Unmoral - nicht dulden kannst. Dass dir der Mensch, der dahinter steckt, aber sehr wichtig ist und dass du jederzeit für ihn da bist, wenn er deine Hilfe und Unterstützung auf dem Weg aus der Homosexualität braucht. Weise ihn/sie auf Hilfsangebote hin! Zwinge ihn aber nicht vorschnell dazu oder komme mit - wenn auch gutgemeinten - Ratschlägen. Biete ihm/ihr ein vertrauensvolles Umfeld, in dem er/sie sich öffnen kann. Sei dir bewusst, dass der Weg aus der Homosexualität für den Betroffenen sehr lang und hart sein kann - bedenkt man die dahinterliegenden Faktoren. Wenn dazu noch körperlicher, seelischer oder sexueller Missbrauch oder ein Mangel an Liebe in der Kindheit kommt, sei dir der Verantwortung bewusst, die du auf dich nimmst, wenn du so einen Menschen begleiten willst. Wenn die alten Wunden aufbrechen und Sex nicht mehr als Schmerzmittel zur Verfügung steht, kommt es zu einem Gefühlschaos, das nicht immer angenehm ist. Du wirst sehr viel Liebe und Geduld brauchen - aber eines kann ich dir versichern: es lohnt sich.









 
 
Wie spreche ich einen Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen an?


Nun, hier gibt es zwei Fälle zu unterscheiden:

1) Der Homosexuelle ist noch kein Christ
2) Der Homosexuelle ist Glied deiner Gemeinde

Fangen wir mit dem ersten Teil an: der (oder die) Homosexuelle ist nich kein Christ(in). Jemand, den du irgendwo triffst und der sich irgendwie für den christlichen Glauben interessiert. Vielleicht wurde er (sie) als Kind getauft, hat aber ifgendwann den Kontakt verloren. Du kommst mit ihm (ihr) ins Gespräch und redest über das Christentum.


Hier einige praktische Tips:

Als praktizierender Homosexueller wird er (sie) sehr aufgebracht sein, wenn du ihm (ihr) sagst, die Bibel würde Homosexualität verurteilen. Das empfindet er (sie) so, als wenn du einem Farbigen sagst, die Bibel würde alles andere als eine weiße Hautfarbe verurteilen. Er (sie) denkt, so sei er (sie) geboren und das sei seine (ihre) Identität. Vielleicht wird er (sie) wütend, aggressiv, streitlustig oder verwickelt dich in eine endlose Diskussion. In diesem Moment sprichst du gegen eine Mauer (wenngleich er/sie sich vielleicht zu einem späteren Zeitpunkt an deine Worte erinnern wird).

Bleibe freundlich und geduldig - aber fest in der Sache. Weise ihn (sie) auf existierende Hilfsprogramme hin und auf die vielen Menschen, die den Schritt aus der Homosexualität bereits geschafft ahben.

Mache auch klar, dass das Ausleben von Homosexualität nicht besser oder schlechter ist wie andere sexuelle Sünden - Ehebruch, Porno, Prostitution usw. Und dass die Kirche, was Homosexuelle betrifft, in der VErgangenheit bestimmt Fehler gemacht hat und dies zu bereuen hat.

Sage ihm (ihr) ganz klar, dass es eine Ausrede ist, "so geboren worden zu sein" (da erstens nicht bewiesen und zweitens belanglos. Sünde bleibt Sünde - egal warum. Und wir sind bestimmt nicht Sklaven eines Gencodes). Nenne ihm (ihr) Ansprechpartner, Selbsthilfegruppen usw. Schlage ihm (ihr) vor, es doch einmal unverbindlich zu versuchen und biete deine Begleitung sowie ständige Unterstützung an.

Gib ihm (ihr) keinesfalls das Gefühl, ihn (sie) als Mensch abzulehnen. Sage aber offen, dass sein/ihr Verhalten /(sofern praktizierender Homosexueller) eine Sünde ist. Wenn er (sie) Christ(in) werden und Jesus nachfolgen will, muss er (sie) aufhören, zu sündigen.

Sei darauf vorbereitet, dass dein Gesprächspartner die Bibel nicht kennt. Keinesfalls solltest du nun bei jeder Gelegenheit Bibelstelle (womöglich noch mit der genauen Fundstelle!) zitieren und so deine "Schlauheit", "Besserwisserei" und "Überlegenheit" - und seine/ihre Dummheit herauskehren. Spiele nicht den Oberlehrer, stelle aber klar heraus, wie die Position der Bibel ist. Glaube kommt nicht durch Wissen, sondern durch das Hören des Wortes und das Wirken des Heiligen Geistes in uns.

Dein Gegenüber wird vielleicht mit Gefühlen, christlichen Songs, Erfahrungen, Buchautoren, der Wissenshaft, anderswoe gehörten "Fakten" usw. argumentieren. Mache ihm/ihr klar, dass dies menschliche Meinungen sind. Ein Christ sollte sich nur an die Bibel halten.

Unterschätze nicht dieses erste Gepräch! Ein falsches Wort, und dieser Mensch könnte für immer dem christlichen Glauben fern bleiben oder falschen Predigern hinterher laufen, die ihm/ihr erzählen, er/sie könne gleichzeitig homosexuell und Christ(in) sein!

Unbedingt vermeiden solltest du schwulenfeindliche Sprüche, Witze, Hobby-Psychologie, ein "Helfer-Syndrom" oder Mitleid!

Wenn es sich um eine bibeltreue Gemeinde handelt und der/die Betroffene weiterhin uneinsichtig bleibt, wird er/sie irgendwann von einem Bruder angesprochen oder vor die Gemeinde geladen und gebeten, sein/ihr sündiges Verhalten abzulegen. Im schlimmsten Fall - bei weiterhin praktizierter Homosexualität - wird man sich von ihm/ihr trennen müssen. Keinesfalls darf man homosexuelles Verhalten tolerieren, nur um keine Glieder zu verlieren! Sünde ist wie ein Geschwür, das sich im ganzen Körper ausbreiten kann. Der/die Betroffene sollte aber auch wissen, dass er/sie jederzeit zurückkommen kann und jede nur mögliche Hilfe und Unterstützung bekommen wird.

Schütze Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen auch vor schwulenfeindlichen Angriffen oder Ausdrücken anderer Gemeinde-Glieder. Auch das ist Sünde!


Zusammenfassung:

Wichtig ist:

- Geduld (nicht vom ersten "Nein" abschrecken lassen! Die Saat, die du säst, muss erst aufgehen!).
- Langfristige Unterstützung (bei Ausstiegswilligen).
- Was zählt, ist alleine der Wille, frei von Homosexualität zu sein.
- Konsequentes Handeln (bei Uneinsichtigen bzw. Unwilligen).
- Freundlichkeit.
- Liebe.
- Brüderliche Ermahnung, Leitung und Hilfe.
- Keine schwulenfeindlichen Ausdrücke/Witze.
- Keine "Hobby-Psychologie".
- Kein Mitleid (im Sinne von: herablassendes "ach, du Armer"-Getue).
- Keine Überheblichkeit - auch du hast Sünden zu bereuen und bist kein besserer Christ!
- Kein "Oberlehrer-Ton".
- Sachliche, fundierte Argumente.
- Besonnenheit.
- Fundiertes Bibelwissen.
- Fundiertes Wissen um Ursachen von Homosexualität.
- Taktgefühl, Sensibilität.
- Sage deinem Gegenüber, dass du ihn/sie als Mensch repektierst und liebst, aber homosexuelles Verhalten klar als Sünde ablehnst.
- Christsein und Homosexualität sind nicht vereinbar!

Nur mut - mit der richtigen Einstellung und Gottes Segen wird es dir bestimmt gelingen, diesen Menschen zurück zu Jesus zu bringen! Es ist und bleibt aber dessen Entscheidung: An ihm/ihr liegt es, zwischen Leben (Jesus) und Tod (Sünde) zu wählen!






Toleranz?

Es gibt zwei typische Reaktionen, wenn Gespräche auf das Thema Homosexualität kommen.

  1. Schweigen. Gründe hierfür: man befürchtet, den Vorwurf der "Diskriminierung" zu ernten oder in ein radikales Lager abgeschoben zu werden. Man denkt, man hätte nicht genügend Hintergrundwissen, um den Argumenten von Homosexuellen oder fon schwulenfreundlichen Mitmenschen angemessen begegnen zu können. Das sit nicht nur Unsinn, sondern sogar gefährlich, da man hierbei der "Gay Propaganda" freie Bahn gewährt. Lesen Sie die betreffenden Stellen in der Bibel nach - und schämen Sie sich nicht, einen klaren Standpunkt für biblische Werte einzunehmen! Informieren Sie sich! Lesen Sie Fachliteratur, fragen Sie bei Ex-Gay Ministries nach! Laden Sie Ex-Gays zu Seminaren und Informationsveranstaltungen ein!
  2. "Toleranz". Man will besonders "weltoffen" und "cool" gelten, oder gar "fortschrittlich" und gibt an, man hätte ja gar nichts dagegen, wenn Schwule heiraten, Beziehungen eingehen, Sex miteinander haben usw. Sollen sie doch - wenn sie sich "lieben". Was kümmert es uns? Nun, fragt man bei solchen Menschen etwas genauer nach und erklärt ganz offen, dass man zum Thema Homosexualität nicht so einen lockeren Standpunkt hat sondern das Ausleben oder bewusste Inkaufnehmen homosexueller Versuchungen/Neigungen ablehnt, merkt man sehr schnell, dass es mit dieser Toleranz nicht weit her ist, sondern dass solche Menschen im Grunde ihres Herzens Homosexualität genauso ablehnen und nur zugunsten von aktiven Homosexuellen argumentieren, um "politisch korrekt" zu sein. Niemand wünscht sich aber, dass sein eigenes Kind homosexuell wird. Und sehr schnell stellt man fest, dass auch diese Menschen Homosexualität als etwas Unnatürliches ablehnen. Dazu sollte man dann aber auch stehen - und nie vergessen, dass man nicht die Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen ablehnt, sondern das, was sie tun oder vertreten.





A Christian's job is to convince homosexual men & women that God still loves them and wants to have a personal relationship with them. 



Nützlicher Bibelvers: Jakobus 2:14-17






Ich bin Priester. Wie bringe ich meine Gemeinde dazu, Homosexuelle aufrichtig zu lieben?
  • Informiere zunächst den Pfarrgemeinderat (bzw. die Brüderversammlung oder welches Gremium auch immer ihr habt) von deinen Plänen. Du wirst ihre Unterstützung brauchen.
  • Informiere sie (und dich selbst) über dieses Thema. Dann suche in der Gemeinde nach Menschen, die die seelsorgerische Tätigkeit auf diesem Gebiet mit übernehmen könnten. Bereite sie auf ihre Aufgabe vor. Nimm Kontakt zu Ex-Gay Ministries auf.
  • Unterrichte und lehre auch in deiner Gemeinde über dieses Thema. Lade Sprecher von Ex-Gay Ministries zu Seminaren ein. Wenn ihr Sonntagsschulen habt, beziehe Lehrer mit ein. Besprecht das Thema im Bibelunterricht. Predige darüber. Und versichere dich, dass all dies aus Liebe zu den betroffenen Menschen geschieht.
  • Ein Beispiel: Predige nächsten Sonntag über Homosexualität. Sage der Gemeinde, wenn unter ihnen Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen sind, sollen sie dich diese Woche anrufen und einen Termin für regelmäßige Gespräche (Bibelstudien, rechenschaft, Seelsorge) mit dir vereinbaren - über mehrere Wochen. Frage gleichzeitig, ob sich Gemeindemitglieder zur Verfügung stellen, um diese Menschen auf dem langen (!) und harten Weg zu begleiten und deren Ansprechpartner zu sein (sie sollen sich nach dem Gottesdienst bei dir melden).
  • Sei selbst ein Beispiel dafür, wie man richtig mit diesem Thema und den betroffenen Menschen umgehen sollte.


„Don Quixote, Cervantes‘ traurige Figur eines Ritters, traf in einem Dorf-Café eine junge Prostituierte. Die Menschen in diesem Dorf behandelten sie wie eine gewöhnliche Hure... Aber Don Quixote behandelte sie wie eine Lady und sagte ihr, dass sie tatsächlich eine edle Lady sei. Sie wurde Don Qixote‘s Dulcinea. Was er tat, war an die edle Frau zu appellieren, die tatsächlich im Inneren der Prostituierten versteckt war. Sie sah in seinen liebenden und Respekt-erfüllten Augen ein Abbild ihres wahren Selbst... Und so begann sie edel zu handeln; die Prostituierte wurde eine Lady, die Hure wurde eine Dulcinea.“ (J. Rinzema, The Sexual Revolution)



How to Love Homosexuals

(Part 1)

(This article is adapted and expanded from a workshop I taught at Saddleback Church's recent HIV/AIDS conference)

by Tim Wilkins

There is a form of love that is merely verbalized and nothing more. The words are as meaningless as the nauseating "no problem" often heard in the hospitality industry.

We cannot reach the homosexual until we first love the homosexual. One of W. E. Sangster's seven rules for personal evangelism was "Do not set out to make people good-love them."

No one has ever been argued out of homosexuality or into the Kingdom of God

I receive email from around the world-- much of it from men and women who not only suffer greatly from unwanted same-sex attractions, but from uncaring churches.

One such email came from a 19 year old man who lives in Singapore. Here's his email in his rough English.

r churches really against homosexuals

I am a gay n I left my church bcuz of many reasons, all the reasons r related 2 homosexuals.

reasons:

1st my paster went on stage n started insulting n joking abt homosexuals. every1 was laughing. I didnt think it was funny but I followed them and laugh cuz I don't 1 em 2 think I m a gay.

            2nd, my church brothers called me "a girl".

3rd, my sherperd, the person who taught me a lot of things on christianity when I joined the church call me "aqua" meaning gay. I was really hurt by that word. quite lot of people calls me that but I didnt expect my own sherperd 2 say such a thing 2 me. that's when I decided that I was borned without a soul n I was sent in2 this world 2 suffer. god never ever wanted me as his child.

Now I know that christianity is nver meant 4 me.

now the question that has been bothering me ever since I left is whether churches r really against homosexuals.

Thank u.


We live in denial if we dismiss this young man's pain-filled email with a glib "he misunderstands us Christians", or "he's too sensitive."

Loving Homosexuals Requires That You Have Experienced God's Love

It is impossible to express a love that you have not experienced. God says "I have loved you with an everlasting love." (Jer 31:3) And John the Apostle wrote "How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! " (I Jn 3:1)

God wants his love to be reciprocated, but he will not force us to love him. If you would love homosexuals best, you must love God most!

Dr. R. Albert Mohler, President of Southern Seminary writes "Evangelical Christians must ask ourselves some very hard questions, but the hardest may be this: Why is it that we have been so ineffective in reaching persons trapped in this particular pattern of sin?"

The atheist Voltaire may have had the answer. He wrote "If Christians want us to believe in a Redeemer, let them act redeemed." Ouch!!

Rick Warren says it like this, "There are two basic reasons people don't know Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. They have never met a Christian. They have met a Christian." Ouch again!!

Loving Homosexuals Requires Getting Right with God

You can be a Christian and still not be right with God.

A lady walked into a psychiatrist's office. She was wearing a strip of bacon over each ear and a poached egg on top of her head. As soon as she sat down, she struck a serious pose and said to the doctor, "I've come to talk to you about my brother-who has a problem."

Jesus said before you can remove the microscopic speck from your brother's eye, you need to eradicate the lumberyard from your own eye. (Loose translation of Matt 7)

A mother, father and their teenage son came to see me; the parents had learned their son had same-sex attractions by viewing the history on his computer-gay porn. One of the recommendations I made was to perform a DSL-ectomy on the home computer. Immediately the father became agitated saying "that's impossible, my work depends on it." I was not surprised to get a call from the son later that week. "I couldn't tell you the other day, but the reason dad became agitated at your suggestion to disconnect from the Internet is because I secretly know he has some sites he visits also."

Loving Homosexuals Requires Distinctive Qualities

Humility tops the list. A day after I hosted a TV show, I got a call from a pastor. "I saw you on TV last night. Do you find homosexuals in churches where you speak?" I replied, "I believe there are people with homosexual attractions in all churches." The pastor's proud and self-assured retort was, "Not in mine!"

Has it come to this? Do evangelicals pride themselves on the mistaken belief that their church has no one with homosexual attractions? Wake up and smell the latte!

Charles Spurgeon visited an affluent, aristocratic woman one day. He moved the conversation to sin and one's need of Christ. The woman said "Rev. Spurgeon-- I'll have you know I have not sinned in the last three weeks!" Spurgeon said "My, you must be awful proud of that" to which she answered "Indeed I am!"

Care is important. I had counseled Brandon for some time--every session a trying experience. He was haughty, arrogant, high-minded, caustic, and more abrasive than 40 grit sandpaper. On the morning of an appointment he left me a voice message "I don't think I need to see you anymore; this is not helping."

My first thought was "thank goodness that's over with!" But I realized my response was wrong and unbiblical. So I called him and left this message. "Brandon, I got your call and appreciate your honesty. I want you to know that if you ever need someone to scream at or curse, call me. You can say what you feel and I will listen."

A few minutes later Brandon called. He spoke haltingly, "Tim, this is Brandon. I got your message and was wondering if I could still make my appointment today?"

"Sure!"

Brandon walked in my office and sat down. I began, "Your initial message was that you did not want to continue, that this was not helping. What did I say in my message that changed your mind?"

Brandon's arrogance was gone. Unlike previous appointments, his demeanor was broken--his words sobering. "Tim, it's not so much what you said; it's because you care."

Warren Wiersbe writes "Lost sinners came to Jesus, not because He catered to them or compromised His message, but because He cared for them."

Empathy is "Direct identification with, understanding of, and vicarious experience of another person's situation, feelings, and motives." We often call it "walking in another man's shoes."

Kindness Mark Twain wrote, "Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see." (See Colossians 3:12)

Patience, gentleness and respect. "But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect..." (1 Pet 3:15) The episcopalian preacher Phillips Brooks wrote an "...element of a preacher's power is genuine respect for the people whom he preaches to."

Loving Homosexuals Requires Being Pro-Active

Many friends of homosexuals tell me "all I know to do is pray for her." I believe in prayer, but prayer is never an excuse for inaction! Love is a verb!

Have evangelicals forgotten that when Adam and Eve ate us out of house and home, God initiated a search and rescue mission-calling out to Adam, "Where are you?"

Are we inoculated against the miracle of the Incarnation- forgetting that God left the splendor of heaven for the stench of a cow stall-to become a man and dwell among us?

And have we underestimated the fact that nowhere in Scripture is God ever pictured in a hurry-except in Jesus' parable of the prodigal son? The father, who represents our Heavenly Father, races to the wayward son. (Luke 15)

Loving Homosexuals Requires Believing in Freedom from Homosexuality

A 'love' that rejects the reality of freedom should be considered "cruel and unusual punishment." A grace that forgives us of sin, but does not free us from sin is a grace not worth having. Individuals who hold to "once a homosexual, always a homosexual" should take Christ's words to heart--"You know neither the scripture nor the power of God." (Matt 22:29)

(Look for Part 2 tomorrow)



Cross Ministry
PO Box 1122
Wake Forest, NC 27588
919/569-0375


Equipping the Church to Evangelize and Disciple the Homosexual 


 


How to Love Homosexuals

(Part 2)

(This article is adapted and expanded from a workshop I taught at Saddleback Church's recent HIV/AIDS conference)

by Tim Wilkins

Loving Homosexuals Requires Asking Their Forgiveness

I know what you're thinking "the writer of this article is crazy; why should I ask forgiveness from my gay family member? He's the one living in sin!"

Bear with me here.

Larry Burtoft writes "If the biblical and theological perspectives are right which see in homosexual behavior one of the myriad forms which human fallenness can take, then those engaged in such behavior deserve...the offer of divine forgiveness and healing which is available." I would add that evangelicals need to ask homosexuals' forgiveness for some inappropriate responses we have made to this issue. Note I said "responses" not "beliefs."

This recommendation is often met with incredulity. Take a spiritual inventory. When you first learned that a friend or family member was homosexual, did you curse them? Did you scream at them? Did you use any language unbecoming a Christian? Did you condemn them? Did you entertain the thought "I'm glad I'm not like him." Did you gloat? Did you feel yourself to be holier than him?

If you did any of the above things, you have sinned against God and homosexuals and need forgiveness. First, go to God and ask His forgiveness. "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." (1 Jn 1:9)

Then go to the homosexual and ask her forgiveness. No emails or letters; this needs to be face-to-face or if distance is an issue, make a phone call. Here's an example of what to say. "When I learned of your same-sex attractions, I said some angry things I should not have. While I still hold to my beliefs on the issue, I ask your forgiveness for the mean-spirited remarks I made. Would you please forgive me?"

At this point you wait for them to say "I forgive you." If they will not forgive you or take the conversation in another direction, remain polite and respectful. Remember, you are not asking forgiveness in order to gain a confession of sin from them. Your request for forgiveness needs to be personal, brief and sincere.

You are not responsible for how they treat you; you are responsible for how you treat them!

In preparation for a speaking engagement at a major university, I encouraged the inviting organization to run an ad in the student newspaper. I wrote the following ad which they ran.

Apology to Gays Overdue (that headline caught attention)

While we have clearly communicated our beliefs about homosexuality, we confess we have not always done so with humility. Our conspicuous, self-righteous attitudes have contradicted the very message we proclaim. We have regularly emphasized truth to the neglect of love. Often our desire to be right has overshadowed our responsibility to be respectful.

We confess that we are sinners in need of God's grace, that the way we live our lives has not always matched what we confess with our lips. We confess that although all of us are created in God's image, that image has been marred by our own deliberate sin against our Creator and we long to be remade in His image through the atoning death of Jesus Christ.

Thus we apologize for the way in which we have addressed this issue. We ask your forgiveness and commit ourselves to build bridges of friendship based on human dignity rather than human sexuality.

(The date and time of my speaking followed.)

Loving Homosexuals Requires More Than Words

1 John 3:18 reads "Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth." (Emphasis added)

When a friend or family member of a homosexual contacts me, an initial question is "what do I tell him so he will leave this lifestyle?" As if there is a magic set of words that will do the trick.

In 1979 Adrian Rogers was elected as President of the Southern Baptist Convention. He could have run for re-election in 1980, but chose not to. When asked by a reporter why he was not running for a second term, Rogers said God told him not to. The reporter then asked "Did God speak to you in an audible voice?" Adrian Rogers revealed one of God's attributes when he answered "No, It was louder than that!"

If God can speak in inaudible ways, can his children not also? Chuck Colson and his wife have the following matted and framed in their home "Christians should share the gospel at all times and if necessary, use words."

Loving Homosexuals Requires Touch

Physical touch is not optional, it is essential! Americans, particularly men, are reticent to express affection to each other. Not so in other countries, nor in the Bible. In China, Africa and other countries it is common to see men embrace and hold hands. When I was in East Africa a few years ago, I noticed two teenage boys with their arms thrown over each others' shoulders. Ron Taffel, in his book Why Parents Disagree, recounts a father's question, "Is it all right if I hug and kiss my two-and-a-half-year-old son goodnight? I'm afraid it will turn him into a homosexual."

Such thinking is counterintuitive!

Some in the church defend their resistance to ex-gay ministry on the grounds that homosexuality is a dirty subject-to which I politely say-- "I am not aware of a 'clean sin.'." God the Father got His hands dirty when He "...formed man from the dust of the ground." (Gen. 2:7) God the Son got His hands dirty when He washed the dust/dirt/sewage from the disciple's feet. (John 13:5)

Communicate love physically, not just verbally! Biblical examples of demonstrative male friendship include David and Jonathan, Paul and Timothy and Jesus and John the Beloved Apostle (John 21:20)

Loving Homosexuals Requires Telling the Truth

Take another inventory. When you read the previous point-"Loving Homosexuals Requires Telling the Truth", which truth did you first think of?

--that homosexuality is sin, an abomination or similar thought OR

--that when a person asks forgiveness, God separates them from their sin as far as the 'east is from the west' or 'and such were some of         you?' or similar thought

My point is this-- I find that when the word truth is used in relation to homosexuality, many Christians first think of "sin" or "abomination" versus God's transforming grace. We must give people the whole counsel of God. What people need is "the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth."

Let me illustrate this with an actual email I received from a Christian man who mistakenly thought I was still a homosexual.

"I will continue to pray for your misunderstanding and immoral offenses. I have faith that God will open a door for you so you can realize your sins. Here is a verse written by Paul in Corinthians. 'Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.'

If Jesus was ok with homosexuality, then why was Paul and everyone else to follow the Christian movement until the late 20th century so against it? The Bible talks about such catamites as this in the end times. Please find the truth."

Much love, Tom (not his real name)


I do not advocate Tom's form of evangelism for the same reason I do not advocate sticking one's lips in a meat grinder.

Tom made some major mistakes. First, he assumed I was homosexual. Second, the tone of his email is less than loving; on the contrary it reeks with arrogance. And thirdly, Tom does not give me the whole truth when he quotes 1 Corinthians. He quotes verses nine and ten, but omits verse eleven which is crucial to the text. Versus eleven reads "And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus." (Emphasis added)

Also note that telling the truth does not mean converting homosexuals to heterosexuality. Many Christians peddle heterosexuality like it's 'another gospel.' (See Galatians 1:6) Conversion is to Jesus Christ who, in turn, transforms us. Jesus did not say "Go and make heterosexuals." He said "Go and make disciples."

Loving Homosexuals Requires Listening

James 1:19 reads "My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry."

We can learn a lesson from Job. His oxen and donkeys are stolen. His servants and sheep are killed. His camels are carried off. A storm collapses a house-killing his sons and daughters. And his health deteriorates dramatically. When Job's three friends hear of his multiple calamities, they go to comfort him. Because of Job's poor health, he is unrecognizable to the friends who weep in sympathy.

Here's the important part. "Then (the friends) sat down on the ground with (Job) for seven days and seven nights with no one speaking a word to him, for they saw that his pain was very great." (Job 2:13) (Emphasis added.) Can you imagine sitting with a hurting homosexual and remaining silent for a week? Some Christians can not be silent seven seconds when the issue of homosexuality is broached.

After addressing a church group, a visibly-angry lesbian made her way toward me. My understandable fear subsided when I got the story. The lesbian's sister would not allow the lesbian's partner to visit her nephew and niece.

Though tempted to interrupt her tirade and say the sister had the right and responsibility to guard her childrens' exposure to such relationships, I sensed I should remain silent and just listen compassionately.

Then, with no hint that things were about to change, tears began to stream down her face. In a soft-spoken voice I asked "Why are you crying?" Though she didn't answer my question directly, and what's more I already knew, her reply spoke volumes, "I cry all the time." I pulled up two chairs; we sat down and for more than an hour I listened to her story of hurt and confusion.

Do not miss the point! If I had not kept my mouth shut, this lady and I would never have connected.

Peter Marshall said, "There are aspects of the gospel that are puzzling and difficult to understand. But our problems are not centered around the things we don't understand, but rather in the things we do understand. This, after all, is but an illustration of the fact that our problem is not so much that we don't know what we should do. We know perfectly well, but we don't want to do it."

Is it possible that what many Christians do not want to do is love?

Jesus said "...all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." (John 13:35)

If you beleive in what Cross Ministry is doing, please consider mailing a tax-deductible gift today.

Cross Ministry
PO Box 1122
Wake Forest, NC 27588
919/569-0375


Equipping the Church to Evangelize and Disciple the Homosexual






Homosexuality and heat and light

The subject of homosexuality is one that often creates a lot of heat.  James Stuart Stewart wrote, "There is a type of preaching which apparently regards it as more important to generate heat than supply light."  One need not be a preacher to be a heat-generating participant.

It is easier to denounce homosexuality with great fervor than to portray and proclaim a loving God who separates our sin from us "as far as the east is from the west."  Before Man had circumnavigated the globe, the Psalmist wrote Psalm 103:11-12.

Allow me to illustrate the power of this text. Let's say we take a plane flying north. After we cross the North Pole, we begin flying south. And after we cross the South Pole, we again are flying north. But if we take a plane that heads east, we will fly forever in the direction of east. If we take a plane flying west, we will always fly west. And so the Psalmist wrote "as far as the east is from the west, so have I separated you from your sin." That's a vivid illustration of God's forgiveness. And that's an appropriate text to use as you mention homosexuality in your preaching.

Everywhere I speak I advocate we turn down the heat on the subject and turn up the light!  

****
Tim Wilkins







I dedicate this last thought tonight to my very dear and treasurered
brothers in HA.

May the Lord's blessing always remain with you.

In His service.

Les.


I Am


I am a worthwhile person.

I am entitled to be who I am.

If you can't accept me as I am,

Then you are not worthy

To be a part of my life

To ignore or reject who I am

Is your loss.

I deserve uncompromised devotion.

Anything less is unacceptable.

If you can't view me

As the treasure, the prize

That I am,

Then forget it--

I am worth more than that.

There will be others

Who will recognize

The worthiness of who I am.

I am who I am

And I am a worthwhile person.


Likewise, please consider the song as written below, MIRACLES DO HAPPEN....
and praise God for that.

~L~

"Miracles happen because one happened to me. I can't explain it but I know it
was especially for me. Miracles happen and now one's happening today,
thank you Jesus for first loving me." ( Song )




Nuetzliche Bibelverse:

Matthaeus 18:15-17

Sprueche 27:5-6

Epheser 4:1-3

Preaching Like Jesus to the LGBT Community and Its Supporters | JD Greear

Muss ich es respektieren, wenn mein Sohn mit einem anderen Mann zusammen lebt?

Das kommt darauf an, was man unter "respektieren" versteht. Ich glaube, selbst Christen treffen hier - möglicherweise aus Bequemlichkeit oder Angst vor möglichen Konsequenzen - falsche Entscheidungen (etwa indem sie sich "da raushalten").


Wer seinen Sohn wirklich liebt, sollte ihn auch mit der Wahrheit konfrontieren. Er wird ihm sagen, was er hören muss und nicht, was er hören will. Dies allerdings in einer Art und Weise, die eines Christen würdig ist.


Der Sohn sollte auf jeden Fall die Botschaft bekommen, dass man ihn als Menschen auch weiterhin liebt - und ihn gerade deshalb mit der Wahrheit der Bibel konfrontiert. Es wäre leichter, den anderen Weg zu gehen. Auch sollte man nicht etwa aufhören, für und um ihn zu kämpfen und für ihn und seinen Partner zu beten.


Schließlich sollte ihm klar gemacht werden, dass es - sofern beide zu Besuch kommen - bestimmte moralische Standards in deinem Haus gibt, die alle (!) zu beachten haben.


"Respektieren" heisst also nicht, etwas gut nennen, was man nicht für gut hält. Es heisst auch nicht, es nicht für gut zu halten, aber nichts dagegen sagen zu dürfen. "Respektieren" heisst vielmehr, die Entscheidung eines erwachsenen Menschen als solche wahrzunehmen und sich dann im Licht des christlichen Glaubens zu überlegen, wie man damit umgeht.


Ein Wort noch zum Schluss: Wer andere Menschen mit moralischen Standards  konfrontiert, sollte auch selbst ein vorbildliches Leben führen. Auch sollte er nicht mit unterschiedlichem Maße messen (also etwa unangemessenes heterosexuelles Verhalten als "männlich" ansehen und dasselbe bei Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen als "pervers" aburteilen!).

How Should the Church (Re-)Act When It Comes to Same-Sex Attractions?


When it comes to same-sex attractions, churches tend to (re-)act in completely different and mostly opposing ways:


1) There are churches who completely affirm all kind of same-sex behavior and relationships (usually referred to as “gay marriage”). Their theology goes somewhat like this: God gave those people same-sex attractions and this is why it also is alright with Him to live that way. Besides, Jesus is all about love and when people (no matter what sex they belong to) love one another, then this is fine with Him. Love can’t be wrong. Basically, those folks ground their theology on their personal experiences and emotions and interpret the Bible from that standpoint – instead of studying the Bible and living our lives according to the written and the living Word of God. God knew how deceitful our hearts and emotions can be and this is why He left us His written Word and also the Holy Spirit to guide His Church in order to give us something to hold on and to live by. Love as God sees it is not just a fuzzy feeling, but a life-giving, life-long, heterosexual & monogamous covenant where people give themselves (as opposed to a contract where people exchange property). A covenant that reflects the covenant of Christ with His Church.

2) Then you have churches that just don’t deal with same-sex attractions at all. Their view goes somewhat like this: We don’t have “that problem” and so we don’t need to talk about it. Also we don’t want to shy away people from our church services. The problem with that: First, every church that has a certain size is very likely to have “that problem”. Second, the church is not a hotel for saints, but a hospital for sinners. Obviously, it has greatly missed her job & vocation – else there wouldn’t be a need for ex-gay and purity ministries. Finally: Not talking about “the problem” does not make it go away. It does not help those concerned and also you will be very surprised when gay activists come breaking into your church doors someday, forcing you by law to hold same-sex “wedding ceremonies”.

3) Thirdly there are churches that seem have all the truth, but no grace at all. “God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve!”, “We love the sinner, but hate the sin!”, “It’s wrong because the Bible says so!” and statements like that might characterize those churches. The problem here: We cannot start reaching out to people in need by telling them what not to do, even more so when this is done from a standpoint that makes the person who issues those statements look like he or she does not belong to that group of “poor little sinners”, that just need to be told they are wrong and just need to “say no”. That has little to nothing to do with the Christian faith the way Jesus taught it. First, we need to understand about God’s love and grace at first place –and if we do we can – and should! – pass it on to others the way Jesus did. Everything else flows out of this. Remember the prostitute that Jesus saved from being stoned? He did not tell her, “Haven’t you read the Thora? What you are doing is wrong! Beat it!”. No, Jesus saved her from certain death before she could even say beep. Only then did He tell her to go and sin no more. Love comes before everything else – a love without any conditions (“I love you, but…”).

4) Finally, you have the churches that do not only welcome people with open arms and a loving heart, but also go out to look for those in need before they even think about knocking on church doors. They do not only re-act, but act. They love those that others look down upon and they do this because Jesus loved us first.


Robert

www.crossministry.org

“Should we care about homosexuals?”

_________________

Create a Caption
We recently asked you to write a caption for this cartoon - emphasizing
homosexuality from a redemptive perspective.  Here are some we received. 
Vote on your favorite caption or comment here.


“As we stand to sing ‘Throw out the life line’
let’s remember that homosexuals need a life line too.”

“If we don’t express Christian love to homosexuals, how will
they ever know the real thing?”

Pastor Bratwurst was taken back when, after quoting “and such were
some of you”, seventeen of his members jumped to their feet and
shouted “I’m one of those ‘some of you.’”

“Yes, God loves the homosexual just as he is...but God loves him too
much to let him stay that way.”

“If the Corinthian Church could love people out of homosexuality, why
can’t our church?”

“Faithful parishioners, we can not lead homosexual to Christ with a
clenched fist.”

“My dear people, Christian love needs to come out of the
closet.”

“After 20 years of prayer, I’ve come to the conclusion that my
ranting and raving about homosexuality is a deterrent to sharing Christ
with them.”

Half the congregation fainted when choir member Brother Bromide began his
testimony of having left homosexuality 32 years before. The other half of
the congregation died in their pews.

“After a vigorous debate during last week’s Deacons’
meeting, we have decided it is OK for you to mention your homosexual
friends in your prayer requests.”

“Our men’s ministry project for this month is witnessing
outside the Trade St gay bar.”

“What Did Jesus Really mean to love your neighbor as yourself?”

“If you don’t know what to say to a homosexual, try something
novel  - like listening.”

“This evening the ladies from the ‘Pushing 80 Sunday School
Class’ will tell us about their visit to the local AIDS
hospice.”

“Our own Horton Smellfungus will now share his testimony of freedom
from homosexuality as our organist softly plays ‘We’ve a story
to tell to the nation.’”

________________

We ask for and appreciate your prayerful and financial help!


Dr John R. W. Stott turns 87!

I (that's me on the right in my late 20's) met Dr. John Stott during a
seminary trip to London.  In this photo, Stott autographs my copy of his
book "Between Two Worlds: the art of preaching in the 20th century" -  a
classic.

Happy Birthday Dr. Stott!

 


_________________

A partner of Cross Ministry writes

I have traveled a long journey through life with several careers and
lifestyles searching for the epitome of success with many mountains and
valleys.  With each mountain I felt I had reached it, YET, there was never
total fulfillment.  The hunger continued for satisfaction!  Money and
material things cease to satisfy my desires for happiness.
 
As a young child with great parents I started under their guidance on the
journey in the right direction.  However, in my teens I left the safety of
my parents and stepped into the "world" of fascination.  I would follow
that life's journey until I was in my sixties - when I found a void and
hunger in my soul that fame or fortune could not fulfill. 
 
Before my mother died I promised her I would make my journey back in the
right direction. It took me several years searching for the one thing that
could fill that void in my inner-being.
 
It was not until I moved to San Antonio and continued my search that I
happened upon the beginning of the mostamazing discovery in my entire
life.  I never knew that there was something so simple, yet complex, that
could consume my very being.  Giving me a total commitment that I will
hold to death takes me into the realm of eternal saturation of "LIGHT AND
SPIRIT"!
 
If you will just take a moment, I’d like to share that with you in a
song, not sung by me, but mirrors my  heart and soul.  This will be my
epitaph........

www.crossministry.org


The Distinctives of a Leader


Reaching Homosexuals with God's Love
By Tim Wilkins (Permission given to reprint; cite www.CrossMinistry.org)

I pulled the following from a sermon I preached years ago -modifying these nine “distinctives” for a leader in outreach to those with same-sex attractions.

President Dwight David Eisenhower, when he was serving as a General, used to demonstrate the art of leadership with a simple piece of string. He would place it on a table and say, “pull it and it will follow you wherever you wish, push it and it will go nowhere.”

1. A leader is an uncompromising individualist who cannot be bound by public opinion nor restrained by the sometimes over-cautious local church. He or she knows “uncompromising” does not mean “mean-spirited” or “rude.”

2. A leader is conscious of a divine call that holds him to the task set by God. Thus, he knows that “if he is easily swayed by men’s opinions, he should do anything but preach.” He also knows that calling homosexuality a sin is insufficient; he must proclaim the God who separates us from our sin “as far as the east is from the west.”

3. A leader is conscious of the privilege of access to the inner counsel of God, but a leader never “struts” into God’s presence. He does not speak FOR God; rather, God speaks THROUGH him.

4. A leader is usually a person of action with a certain ruggedness of body and character that commands attention in any gathering. But he understands that action never takes the place of unction and any attention he draws is simply Christ radiating through him - though God will surely depart from him if he happens to think “I am being righteous.”

5. A leader is conscious of God’s authority and backing in all emergencies. A leader stands alone against practically all his contemporaries. Consequently, he may be widely ridiculed or politely patronized by the very persons he hopes to lead to Christ.

6. A leader is definitely a man of prayer and communion with God - consecrated in life and character. He knows that if “the prayers of a righteous man are powerful and effective”, he also knows the prayers of an Unrighteous man are powerLESS and INeffective.

7. A leader is an outspoken critic of specific evils in the social order AND within the church. He knows that ranting about “what’s wrong among the world’s people” must be balanced with “what’s wrong among God’s people.”

8. A leader is God’s agent to reveal the future to the people. He is given peculiar insight into the will of God for the generations yet unborn. And no amount of “political correctness” or “uncomfortableness” with certain sins will deter him from the task. He knows there are no “clean sins.”

9. A leader knows “Consensus is the death of leadership.”

Thoughts to Ponder...

Für heterosexuelle Christen ist es wohl schwer nachzuvollziehen, welches Gefühl Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen beim "Coming Out" haben. Und erst recht, wenn sie dann ihre Neigungen ausleben. Wenn sie das erste Mal in die Szene gehen.

Es ist so ungefähr, als würde ein Damm brechen. So vieles, das man bisher aufgestaut oder verheimlicht hat! Endlich frei!! Endlich an einem Ort, wo man sich zuhause fühlt - angenommen und geliebt, so wie man ist!

Mal ganz abgesehen davon, dass sich dieses Stimmungshoch meist relativ bald legt und man wieder ernüchtert auf dem Boden der Tatsachen landet, ist hier durchaus ein Kern der Wahrheit enthalten, den wir uns zu Herzen nehmen sollten:

Leider war und ist es in etlichen Gemeinden, Organisationen, Familien oder wo auch immer so, dass man sich nicht "zuhause" fühlt. Nicht geliebt und angenommen.

Wir müssen endlich begreifen, dass die Kirche kein Hotel für Heilige ist, sondern ein Krankenhaus für Sünder! Und das gilt keineswegs nur für Homosexuelle. Wenn jemand das erste Mal in eine Kirche geht, steckt noch sein ganzes bisheriges Leben in ihm. Er raucht vielleicht vor der Kirche. Oder flucht. Er sieht vielleicht nicht so aus, wie man das erwartet. Oder benimmt sich nicht so.

Wenn sich dieser Mensch aufgrund des Verhaltens der dort versammelten Christinnen und Christen wie ein Fremdkörper vorkommt, wird er bald wieder kehrt machen und der Kirche den Rücken drehen. Und die Kirche hat versäumt, ihre Aufgabe wahrzunehmen.

Jesus kam nicht, um die Gesunden zu heilen, sondern die Kranken. Und wir sind in Seine Nachfolge gerufen. Das heißt nun keineswegs, dass die "Gesunden" nicht Seines Beistands bedürfen, aber als Christinnen und Christen haben wir die selbstlose und aufopferungsvolle Liebe weiter zu geben, mit der uns Jesus liebt.

Es hilft Homosexuellen nicht, wenn man ihnen erzählt, man würde sie selbst lieben, aber das, was sie tun, hassen. Das mag zwar ebenfalls einen wahren Kern haben, aber mit Allgemeinplätzen gewinnt man keine Herzen.

Wann haben wir denn das letzte Mal jemandem gezeigt, dass wir ihn oder sie lieben?

Eines sollten wir nie vergessen: Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen, die auf ein Ausleben derselben oder eine homosexuelle Partnerschaft verzichten, verzichten damit auch auf das, was sie vielleicht am nötigsten haben: Liebe. Mag sein, dass es die falsche Liebe ist, aber für sie ist es einfach nur Liebe. Und das alles nur, weil sie Jesus mehr lieben als alles andere. Das sollte uns zu denken geben.

Wir sind gerufen, das dadurch in ihren Herzen und Leben entstehende Loch mit unserer Liebe zu füllen. Nicht nur in die Kirche zu gehen, sondern Kirche zu sein.

Nicht mehr und nicht weniger würde Jesus von uns erwarten.


Das „Coming Out“ heißt doch nichts anderes, als dass Homosexuelle ihre Identität finden und auch nach außen dazu stehen müssen. Entsprechende schwule Emanzipierungsgruppierungen sind von kirchlicher Seite zu unterstützen und nicht abzulehnen!

 

Hier zeigt sich das ganze Drama, das die Kirche im Umgang mit Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen an den Tag legt: weil man keine Ahnung hat, wie man aus christlicher Sicht mit diesem Thema umgehen soll, öffnet man der Schwulenbewegung gewollt oder ungewollt Tür und Tor. Die Betroffenen bleiben jedoch trotz bester Absichten auf der Strecke.

Warum? Nun, sehen wir uns doch einmal diese Betroffenen an:

Zumeist haben Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen keinen Ansprechpartner, der ihnen verständnis- und liebevoll begegnet, ohne dabei von christlichen Grundwerten abzuweichen. Die Kirche schweigt das Thema in der Regel weiter tot und so sind die einzigen Ansprechpartner früher oder später schwule Gruppierungen, die als einzige Option das Ausleben dieser Neigungen nach Lust und Laune propagieren. Eine andere Botschaft bekommen diese jungen Menschen selten – mal abgesehen von der grundsätzlichen Ablehnung, die nicht vermittelt wird und als Ablehnung der eigenen Person und der eigenen Identität wahrgenommen wird.

Auch in der Kirche selbst spiegelt sich dieses Drama wieder: wenn man denn überhaupt offen für dieses Thema ist, sieht man ebenfalls nur eine Option: Standpunkte der Schwulenbewegung zu übernehmen. Die schwule Propaganda – seit langem vorbereitet und sehr gut strukturiert und geplant – trägt reiche Frucht. Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen aus den eigenen Reihen, die es durch Gottes Gnade und die Unterstützung Gleichgesinnter geschafft haben, einen anderen Weg zu gehen werden nicht selten als „Fundamentalisten“ oder als Menschen, die sich selbst verleugnen und bei anderen mit unmenschlichen Methoden Gehirnwäsche betreiben, diffamiert. Was um alles in der Welt ist hier geschehen? Um es einmal ganz deutlich zu sagen: Ex-Gay Ministries müsste es nicht geben, wenn die Kirche ihren Job machen würde. Leider hat sie hier zum überwiegenden Teil bisher versagt.

Jedoch sind wir nicht hier, um anzuklagen und mit dem Finger auf andere zu zeigen, sondern um zu helfen.

Leider jedoch wird uns zumeist der Zugang zu den Gemeinden verwehrt. Die einzelnen Gemeindeglieder finden jedoch oft trotzdem den Weg zu uns – ebenso wie Pastoren, Priester, Ordensangehörige und andere christliche Amtsträger oder Angehörige bestimmter Gruppierungen. Menschen, die uns immer wieder sagen, sie würden sich nicht trauen, zu ihresgleichen zu gehen und über das zu sprechen, was in ihnen vorgeht – aus Angst, dann mit anderen Augen gesehen zu werden oder mit der noch größeren Angst, eine Botschaft zu bekommen, die sie nicht mit ihrem Glauben vereinbaren können: dass sie ihre Neigungen ruhig ausleben sollen.

Wenn ein Mensch also in jungen Jahren gleichgeschlechtliche Neigungen empfindet, kommt es sehr darauf an, wie er dies selbst sieht und welche Botschaft er/sie nun von der Familie und Kirche zu hören bekommt:

1)    Gibt er/sie zu, gleichgeschlechtliche Neigungen zu haben, ist sich aber noch nicht sicher, wie er/sie damit umgehen soll oder ob er/sie diese ausleben soll?
2)    Oder sagt er/sie von vorneherein, er/sie möchte diese Neigungen auch ausleben – unabhängig davon, was andere darüber denken?
3)    Oder kommt die dritte Möglichkeit in Betracht: er/sie gibt zu solche Neigungen zu haben, sagt aber auch, diese nicht ausleben zu wollen und sucht Unterstützung hierbei?

Gerade bei jungen Menschen sollte man zuerst einmal fragen, was der Betroffene denn überhaupt zu diesem Thema weiß. Auch sollte man sich klar sein, dass es hier nicht um eine vorschnelle Entscheidung geht, sondern dass dies schon seit Jahren im Inneren des jungen Menschen präsent war und er/sie nun endlich den Mut gefunden hat, darüber zu reden. Verletzende Kommentare, Beschimpfungen oder gar Beleidigungen – oder einfach nur ein vorschnelles Wort - würden nun einen verheerenden, kaum mehr gutzumachenden Schaden verursachen. Zunächst einmal sollte man daher den Betreffenden für seinen Mut loben. Auch sollte man sich bewusst sein, dass man ihn oder sie nicht schwul „gemacht“ hat, dass also niemand daran „schuld“ ist, wenngleich der familiäre Hintergrund und gerade das Verhältnis zum gleichgeschlechtlichen Elternteil einen erheblichen Anteil an der Entwicklung der Sexualität und Geschlechtsidentität hat.

Wenn der junge Mensch nun die Botschaft bekommt, dass es auch eine andere Option gibt, nämlich Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen, die sich entschieden haben, diese nicht auszuleben und die Unterstützung von anderen (Familie, Kirche, Ex-Gay Ministries, Therapeuten, Freunden...) in Anspruch genommen haben, dann kann das Auswirkungen auf sein/ihr gesamtes zukünftiges Leben haben. Ex-Gay Ministries schulen etwa auch Familienangehörige im liebevollen und zwanglosen Umgang mit den Empfindungen ihres Kindes oder Geschwisterteils – etwa was die Möglichkeiten angeht, die besonderen Begabungen des jungen Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen in Bahnen zu lenken, die ihn/sie in ihrer Geschlechtsidentität bekräftigen und nicht noch mehr verwirren. Keinesfalls jedoch sollte der junge Mensch zu etwas gezwungen werden. Wenn er/sie sich für ein schwules Leben entscheidet, sind Möglichkeiten zu vereinbaren, unter vorher bestimmten Bedingungen und Grundsätzen, die es auch den Familienangehörigen erlauben, keine Kompromisse hinsichtlich ihres Glaubens einzugehen, ein liebevolles und respektvolles Miteinander zu gestalten.

„Coming Out“ heißt für viele immer noch, man müsse seine Neigungen nicht nur vor sich selbst und anderen eingestehen, sondern auch ausleben und dies auch noch gutheißen, da man eben so ist. Dies ist eine Botschaft, die mehr auf Hilflosigkeit gründet denn auf christliche Nächstenliebe. Man weiß nicht, was genau in diesem Menschen los ist und noch viel weniger weiß man, wie man als Christ damit umgehen soll, also sagt man ihm/ihr im Grunde, dem Ganzen doch freien Lauf zu lassen, wenn es denn nicht anders geht. Das ist billige Theologie. Wir schulden unseren Kindern und den Gliedern des Leibes Christi mehr als das!

Ja, jungen Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen fehlen Identifikationsmöglichkeiten. Damit meinen wir aber nicht durch die Medien bekannte Persönlichkeiten, die diese Neigungen publikumswirksam ausleben, sondern vielmehr christliche Vorbilder von Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen, die erfolgreich einen anderen Weg gegangen sind und trotzdem – oder gerade deswegen! – mit ihren ganz besonderen Fähigkeiten ein erfülltes Leben in Familie, Beruf, Gesellschaft und Kirche gefunden haben. Das ist die Botschaft, die zu vermitteln wir als Christinnen und Christen verpflichtet sind!


Wer Homosexuelle diskriminiert, hat doch nur Angst. Angst vor seinen eigenen gleichgeschlechtlichen Empfindungen, die es ja in beinahe jedem Menschen gibt und Angst davor, dass die Vorstellung von dem, was einen Mann ausmacht, durch Homosexuelle und deren Verhalten ins Wanken kommt!

Hier wird in bester Hobby-Psychologenmanier vieles in einen Topf geworfen, was nicht dorthin gehört und dann einmal kräftig umgerührt. Das Ganze hört sich ganz gut und vernünftig – und vor allem wissenschaftlich an und scheint keinen Widerspruch zuzulassen – zumindest keinen vernünftigen.

Ist dies wirklich so?

Natürlich kommt es leider immer noch vor, dass Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen diskriminiert werden. Diskriminierung ist grundsätzlich abzulehnen und zu bekämpfen – in jeder Form, auch was Ex-Gays betrifft, bei denen man sich oft ebenso wenig mit abwertenden Kommentaren oder gar körperlichen Angriffen zurückhält. Heute wird jedoch mit dem „Diskriminierungsvorwurf“ gegen jeden vorgegangen, der nicht vollumfänglich Homosexualität und das Ausleben homosexueller Neigungen akzeptiert. Dass eine abweichende Meinung auf vernünftigen Argumenten und christlichen Glaubensgrundsätzen basieren kann, wird von vorneherein geleugnet, da nicht sein kann, was nicht sein darf. Da muss schon eine diffuse „Angst“ herhalten. Man stellt die Gegenseite als emotional verkümmertes Etwas mit unterdrückten Gefühlen dar – was an sich schon eine Diskriminierung darstellen kann. Nicht jeder Mensch, der andere diskriminiert, tut dies aus verklemmten Neigungen heraus. Manchmal ist es purer Hass oder Unzufriedenheit mit dem eigenen verkorksten Leben, der Menschen dazu treibt. Nicht jeder Mensch, der zum Thema homosexuelles Verhalten eine andere Sichtweise einnimmt, tut dies aus Angstgefühlen welcher Art auch immer. Das ist eine unzulässige und unehrenhafte Verkürzung und Einengung eines weitaus komplexeren Problems. Nur weil sich etwas gut anhört, ist es noch lange nicht richtig.

Aus unserer eigenen Erfahrung können wir euch im übrigen sagen, dass es in der schwulen Szene Gang und Gebe war – und auch mit einer gehörigen Portion Selbstironie oft zum Gegenstand von Witzen wurde -, dass man jedem Mann (vor allem den gutaussehenden!) unterstellte, homosexuelle Anteile zu haben. Hier war wohl eher der Wunsch Mutter des Gedanken und dies war uns auch durchaus bewusst, hielt uns aber nicht davon ab, gerade Männer anzubaggern, die einen „heterosexuellen“ Eindruck machten. Wenn wir schon nicht selbst so sein konnten, wollten wir wahre Männlichkeit (oder was wir dafür hielten) zumindest besitzen. Allerdings war uns im tiefsten Inneren durchaus klar (wenngleich wir das nie zugegeben hätten), dass ein richtiger Mann keinen Sex mit anderen hat – und wenn doch, hat er wohl dasselbe Problem wie wir selbst.

Mit dem Männlichkeitsideal ist das so eine Sache. An dieser Stelle sei ausdrücklich auf die unserer Meinung nach beste christliche Männergruppe überhaupt verwiesen: Men’s Fraternity (www.mensfraternity.com bzw. www.freewebs.com/mensfraternity). Das größte Problem, das sich Männern heute stellt, ist nicht, dass sie sich durch homosexuelles Verhalten in ihrer Männlichkeit angegriffen fühlen, sondern dass ihnen mehr und mehr die Vorstellung fehlt, was einen richtigen Mann ausmacht. Welche Rolle er in Beruf, Familie, Gesellschaft und der Kirche hat. Eine Definition von einem richtigen Mann kann heute kaum mehr jemand geben. Männer sind in ihrer Geschlechtsidentität zutiefst verwirrt – und verwirrte Männer können eine Menge Unheil anrichten (man sehe sich nur mal die Anzahl männlicher Strafgefangener im Vergleich zu den weiblichen an, oder die steigende Zahl vaterloser Familien usw.). Männliche Qualitäten wie die Übernahme von Verantwortung, die Zurückweisung von Passivität, das mutige Führen anderer bei Bedarf sowie Jesus Christus als Zentrum im Leben eines jeden Mannes gehen schrittweise verloren und werden vergessen bzw. von der Gesellschaft geleugnet und bekämpft. Männer sind sich in ihrer Rolle als Familienoberhaupt, als geistige Führer sowie in ihrer Beziehung zum eigenen wie zum anderen Geschlecht unsicher. Sie haben keine Momente mehr mit anderen Männern (bereits die Bibel weist uns in Sprichwörter 27,17 darauf hin, dass Männer durch andere Männer geprägt werden und deren Gesellschaft brauchen!), wissen nicht, wann sie eigentlich zum Mann geworden sind und ob sie überhaupt einer sind – oder sein dürfen. Das „Gender-Mainstreaming“, das vorgibt, für die Rechte von Frauen zu kämpfen, tatsächlich aber die Grenzen der Geschlechter an sich leugnet und damit den Frauen mehr Schaden zufügt als alles bisher dagewesene, setzt den Männern in ihrem Innersten zu. Das beste nämlich, dass einer Frau passieren kann, ist ein richtiger Mann, der sie liebt und ehrt, für sie sorgt und sogar sein Leben für sie geben würde. Der anerkennt, dass Mann und Frau zwar gleich viel wert, aber nicht dasselbe sind – und dass dieser Unterschied gottgewollt und gut ist!

Um eines nochmals klarzustellen: Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen sind nicht weniger wert als Menschen mit rein heterosexuellen Empfindungen. Sie sind anders – und dieses Anders-Sein kann man als eine Gabe sehen, die man zum Wohle für sein eigenes Leben, die Familie, Gesellschaft und Kirche nutzen kann – oder als eine Form sexueller Anziehung, die ausgelebt werden will. Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen sind nicht „krank“ im Sinne von „geisteskrank“. Allerdings ist bei so manchen Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen etwas schief gelaufen – zumeist schon in frühester Kindheit. Hier geht es nicht darum, wer daran „schuld“ ist, sondern wie man jetzt damit umgeht. Oft hat dies dazu geführt, dass diese Menschen eine verzerrte Sichtweise von sich selbst und dem, der sie eigentlich sind, bekommen haben und diese Verzerrung als das wahre Ich gesehen haben. Oder dass sie ihre legitimen Bedürfnisse auf eine Art und Weise zu befriedigen suche, die die Bedürfnisse nicht stillt, sondern sie höchstens vergessen lässt und langfristig noch weitaus stärker hervortreten lässt. Schließlich hatten viele von uns einen großen Schmerz tief in uns drin zu verkraften und wir sahen oft keine andere Möglichkeit, als diesen Schmerz dadurch zu betäuben, dass wir ein homosexuelles Leben geführt haben. Wobei sich dieser Schmerz aber nur eine Zeitlang betäuben lässt, irgendwann aber ein Ventil sucht, um zu explodieren.

 

Liebe den Sünder, hasse die Sünde!

Wer hat diesen Satz noch nicht gehört: Wir sollen den Sünder lieben, aber die Sünde - also das, was er/sie tut, hassen.

Natürlich stimmt das im Prinzip, jedoch raten wir sehr davon ab, Sätze wie diese zu benutzen, und zwar aus folgenden Gründen:

1) Mit Allgemeinplätzen und Binsenwahrheiten, so wahr sie auch sein mögen, überzeugt man wohl kaum irgend jemand.

2) Wir lieben also den Sünder. Wann haben wir denn das letzte mal konkret, praktisch und völlig uneigennützig gezeigt, dass wir einen Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen lieben? Sollte das nämlich nicht der Fall sein, geht ein derartiger Satz schnell nach hinten los!

3) Der Adressat eines solchen Satzes ist wohl ein Mensch mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen. Wir wollen ihm damit mitteilen, dass wir ihn/sie als Menschen lieben, aber das, was er/sie tut, ablehnen. Gut und schön, aber ein Mensch mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen denkt in der Regel, er IST so, wie er ist. Für ihn/sie geht es hier nicht um ein Verhalten, sondern um seine Identität, die er/sie genausowenig zu ändern vermag (zumindest denkt er/sie dies), wie ein Mensch seine Hautfarbe verändern kann. Er/sie kann also nicht einfach etwas ablegen, was ihn/sie in seiner tiefsten Persönlichkeit ausmacht. Ganz im Gegenteil: weil er/sie denkt, dass seine Identität homosexuell ist, führt ein Satz wie oben genannter zumeist dazu, dass er/sie sich al Mensch abgelehnt fühlt - ob das nun gewollt ist oder nicht. In der Regel wird er/sie deshalb auch sehr verärgert, verletzt und/oder aggressiv reagieren oder den Absender dieser Botschaft als verlogen, scheinheilig oder bestenfalls rückständig, verbohrt und dumm ansehen.

Anstatt also einfach mit platten Allerweltswahrheiten zu kommen (selbst wenn sie einen wahren Kern haben!), sollten wir dieselbe Botschaft lieber praktisch ausdrücken und den Betroffenen zeigen, dass wir sie lieben - aber ihnen auch verständlich machen, dass es für uns als Christinnen und Christen gewisse Grenzen gibt, die wir im gegenseitigen Umgang doch eingehalten haben möchten.

Article by Tim Wilkins

What Your ‘First Question’ Says about You 

by Tim Wilkins

When helping people who hurt, homosexual or otherwise, our questions reveal a lot about what we consider important and our first question sets the stage for all that follows.

In Mark 5, Jesus meets “the man from Gadara” – a man who is naked, lives among the tombs, cuts himself with stones, breaks out of chains, and screams at the top of his voice.

This was a real man with real hurts and yet he could easily represent the multitudes of hurting people we meet everyday.  But don’t make assumptions based on this man.

Don’t assume all peoples’ hurts are conspicuous.

Any emergency room triage nurse would have moved this man to the front of the line because his need was conspicuous – “naked and bleeding.”
 
Behind many a smiling face or angry expression is a person who carries a burden.  Not all those in the gay lifestyle are gay and some of the most celebrated comedians have nothing to laugh at when the show is over.

Don’t assume all people who hurt will ask for help.

The man in Mark 5 ran to Jesus, but that’s not always the case.  Many who experience despair beyond description run from Jesus.  Adam and Eve hid themselves from God – but God went looking for them asking “Where are you?”

The prodigal son left home, wasted his inheritance and learned to slop hogs – but the father stood on tiptoe looking for his wayward son while the son was “a long way off.”

When I was as lost as a goose in a homosexual hailstorm, God wooed me, wowed me and won me with a love that eclipsed the world’s superficial loves.

Don’t assume all that people need are tangible things.

Here stood a man who did 2,000 years ago what some people still do today – self-mutilate.  What possesses a person to slice their skin until blood flows?  We could spend eternity attempting to answer that question.

But let’s watch Jesus – who asks this miserable man a question - which we will get to directly. 

For a moment though, let’s imagine what questions other persons might have asked this distraught man had they seen him.

A government employee might have asked “What is your social security number?”
A psychotherapist might have asked “What is your problem?”
A financial planner might have asked “What’s in your portfolio?”
A politician might have asked “What is your party affiliation?”
A lawyer might have asked “What is your grievance?”
A philosopher might have asked “What is your worldview?”
An astrologist might have asked “What is your sign?”
A photojournalist might have asked “What is your best side?”
An ex-gay ministry director (like me) might have asked “What is your sexual orientation?”

None of the above questions are necessarily inappropriate, but not all of them are relevant

This man was naked, yet Jesus did not ask “where is the nearest clothes closet?”
This man lived in a cemetery, yet Jesus did not ask “do you need a real estate agent?”
This man broke out of chains, yet Jesus did not ask “who in your town makes reinforced chains?”

I am not criticizing social ministries which provide for tangible needs; on the contrary, I commend social ministries, but what’s their purpose if they are not “marked by or conducive to friendliness or pleasant social relations”?

When Jesus approached this man, He cut through all the red tape and asked this visibly broken and burdened man the most personal, practical and pertinent question He could - “What is your name?”

Sometime ago, I and a friend – who is a prominent biblical scholar - were guests on a TV talk show.  Speaking from an opposing position was a homosexual advocate whom I had met and befriended a few years earlier.

I specifically watched the scholar to see how he would interact with the homosexual man before and after the taping.  This learned scholar, for whom I have high respect, never asked the homosexual his name.  My Christian friend continued to debate homosexuality even after the program ended.

Behind every despairing individual is a name.

Jesus eventually healed this man from Gadara - but not until He made His first question the right question.

What does your ‘first question’ say about you?

(Permission is granted to reprint this article; cite www.CrossMinistry.org)

________________________

Cross Ministry is a faith ministry.  Your partnership in giving and praying is appreciated.



Sündenböcke?

Auf eines sollten wir im Umgang mit Homosexuellen besonders achten: sie nicht zu Suendenboecken fuer unsere eigenen Unzulänglichkeiten werden zu lassen (das gilt im übrigen auch fuer die "Gegenseite"). Wie schnell sind wir dabei, andere Menschen oder das Verhalten anderer Menschen radikal und entschieden zu verurteilen und sie zum großen Feindbild zu erklären. Nicht selten stecken dahinter eigene Unzulänglichkeiten, ein gebrochenes Verhaeltnis zu Gott, ein verzerrtes Gottesbild, eine besondere Vorstellung davon, was ein Christ zu tun, wie er/sie auszusehen oder sich zu verhalten hat usw.

Ja, wir dürfen und sollen zu unseren Überzeugungen stehen - dies aber in Demut und Liebe. Einer Liebe, die nichts fordert und nichts verlangt.


A “Change of Mind” on Homosexuality?

By Tim Wilkins (Permission granted to reprint; cite www.crossministry.org)

 


 Several years ago, I received a “green light” to coordinate a display and distribute literature packets to attendees of a convention.  The packets contained an array of resources - how to share Christ with and minister compassionately to persons with same-sex attractions.


I knew the exhibit hall coordinator well; he, among others, helped me secure space for the booth, so he knew what I and Cross Ministry were about.


The exhibit hall opened and a river of people streamed in and to our booth.  The massive hall had been open a mere five minutes when the coordinator, my friend, came to me.   With a coy smile and a “knowing” wink” he said “Tim, we just had a lady come to our exhibit office and tell us ‘there’s a display in the exhibit hall promoting homosexuality!’”


He knew Cross Ministry and me to be thoroughly biblical and passionate about sharing the grace of God with homosexuals.  He also knew this well-intentioned lady mistakenly thought that any exhibit on homosexuality at an evangelical event had to be “pro-homosexual.”


Not only had I secured space in the exhibit hall to distribute materials, I received permission to do so outside the enormous arena.  Dispensing packets like a robot, I handed one to a woman as she walked my way.  She must have known the nature of the packets because she commented “But I am NOT homosexual.”  Taken back, I managed to mumble “Uh, I didn’t think you were, but you might know someone who is.” She confidently replied “No thank you” and walked on.


I continued my task as throngs of people passed me, but could not help but notice the aforementioned woman as she walked away.  She had gone about 200 feet when she abruptly stopped, did an about-face and headed back.  “Uh-oh.” I said to myself.  “I am about to be lectured to - at the least or possibly lambasted.  Lord, help me know what to do.”  I quickly prepared myself for an altercation.


At least fifteen years my senior, she walked up to me, extended her hand and said “Sir, I’ve changed my mind.  I’d like that packet of information.”  Breathing a sign of relief, I handed her the packet.


A miracle took place as she and I stood on that hot concrete sidewalk that afternoon.  The miracle was encapsulated in her words “I’ve changed my mind.”


I later pondered her initial response “But I am NOT homosexual.”  I was confused; why would she think I would make such a presumption?


The only answer that made sense was this – when she initially approached me, she thought the packet of materials was solely for persons struggling with same-sex attractions.  I believe it had never occurred to her (and possibly to millions of other Christians) that God intends us to reach out to those with same-sex attractions, as we should to all people.  As believers, we are beggars showing other beggars where to find bread – Jesus Christ – “the bread of life.”


I will never know if the lady who told the exhibit hall coordinator “they’re promoting homosexuality” ever experienced a similar “change of mind.” It never occurred to her that a display in an exhibit hall at an evangelical event might offer a redemptive approach to same-sex attracted persons who need to know God is mighty to save.


Do those with same-sex attractions need a change of mind? Yes, but so do all of us and a Christian’s mind is a terrible thing to waste.


___________________________

 

Proving Christian Compassion is not an oxymoron

 

Cross Ministry

PO Box 1122

Wake Forest, NC27588

[email protected]

www.crossministry.org


Is the Church Hypocrite?

Some people with same-sex attractions who self-identify as being “gay” would call “organized religion” (the Church, in our case the Christian Church) hypocrite.

What do we make of that?

Simply saying this is nonsense or the usual attack of gay activists would not be correct. Yes, some “gays” might call anyone and everyone who does not share their view of how to deal with same-sex attractions as being “hypocrite” or even “homophobic”. This is a problem those people have to deal with. We do not know why some people with same-sex attractions would make general accusations like that and so we can only pray for them, ask God to touch their hearts and treat them with Christian love instead of attacking them at the same level.

But is there any truth in that statement?

I am afraid there is. One of the reasons men and women with same-sex attractions embrace the “gay” life is that they have the impression that in the ‘”gay” scene they find the love and acceptance they have neither found with their families, friends – or with the Church for that matter.

Maybe they will later on realize that this “love” and “acceptance” they seem to be getting in the “gay” scene is not really what they were hoping for, but it is some sort of “home-coming” feeling that strikes a nerve and at least somehow fulfills - or maybe numbs - a legitimate need that had been unfulfilled so far in many cases.

Finally, they don’t feel like outsiders anymore that people put up with somehow at best. Thinking back of my own “gay” days I well remember that some folks in my environment had an outside attitude that said something like “live and let live” or “why not if they love one another” or “this is totally ok”, but I did not always buy that. I had always had the feeling that this is rather superficial and once times would get rougher again (economically, politically or whatever), we'd soon get to see what they really think. Even Church members usually have no clue as to how to approach people with same-sex attractions, how to truly love them with a love that does not shy away from telling them the truth, but also mirrors the love of Christ.

Think of sarcastic sayings like “God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve”. This almost mocks people with same-sex attrations. Or “let’s love the sinner, but hate the sin”. That has some truth in it like the first saying, but it gives you – voluntarily or involuntarily – the impression that the person who says that is not a sinner. That he (or she) is a better Christian than those poor men and women who live a “gay” life.

Thinking of that, it is no wonder that some people with same-sex attractions at some point began to self-identify as being “gay”. That at least conveyed the image of being happy, in good mood – as opposed to the impression some of the people that surrounded them might have given.

When has the Church – when have WE – ever shown people with same-sex attractions that we truly love them (with no “but” attached)? I guess if you ask that those people who tell us to love the sinner and hate the sin, some might have a hard time giving you a real-life example.

So to cut a long story short: The Church – that is all believing Christians – has good reasons to ask people with same-sex attractions for forgiveness. That does in no way mean the Church should accept a “gay” life or condone everything “gays” do or say, but it does mean that we have to ask for forgiveness for the many hurts we caused people with same-sex attractions –through the things we did and the things we failed to do.

Munich, November 27th 2011

Robert Gollwitzer

Copyright

Some of the graphics are from http://whytehouse.com/ and copyrighted.

Einige der Graphiken sind von http://whytehouse.com/ und urheberrechtlich geschützt.

„Love the Sinner, Hate the Sin!“

Who hasn’t heard that phrase before. We are supposed to love the sinner, but hate sin (i.e. what he/she does or fantasizes about).

At first glance this sounds perfectly right. And yet I’ve come to really dislike that statement and I ask my brothers and sisters to refrain from using such commonplaces, especially when it comes to people with same-sex attractions. And this for the following reasons:

1) You do not convince anybody with commonplaces – as true as they might be.
2) So we love the sinner. To which every gay activist (and every person in general) can and might reply: When was the last time you showed that – through unconditional works of love? It is so easy to give a fire-and-brimstone sermon on sinful “homosexual” acts. How much harder it is to love those people like Christ would! Because if you don’t, such a statement will backfire big time. And you deserved that.
3) Such a phrase is obviously talking about a person with same-sex attractions. We want to tell our church brothers and sisters to let “those people” know that we love them but hate what they are doing. Now thing for a moment how that sounds like for “one of those”. I had been there, so I have an idea about that. Throughout my whole “gay” time (which was many, many years!) I had the feeling that this is not only how I am, but most of all who I am. This is my identity – much like it would be my identity to be a white person from Europe. For “people like us” who are still involved in that life or in that world (whether or not we act out) this is not simply about “behaviors” or “fantasies” – this is an identity question. He or she thinks that they cannot do anything about it anyways (and just throwing facts at them wouldn’t help either, because they are bombarded with different facts all the time and rather confused anyway). As a consequence, these persons might feel rejected for who they are (like you might reject a person because of his or her color of skin) – if you mean to say that or not (for the record: this is not how I think, but how many “of us” think). Usually, it is not the first time they heard things like that, so to cope with their anger, hurt and frustration they might react very aggressively. They might see you as hypocrite, retarded, radical, inhumane – or simply stupid.
4) So we love the sinner and hate the sin. Fine. Sounds like we are talking about somebody else when we are talking about sinners. And in fact this is exactly what we are doing there: We point with the finger on other people and call them sinners that “deserve” to hear the truth. This in fact is hypocrite. If we point with the finger on somebody else, we should remember that all the other fingers are pointing back to us – for good reason. We sometimes tend to forget that we are sinners too. As someone once said: A church is not a hotel for saints, but a hospital for sinners. And even if you find a “perfect” church, you ruin it the very moment you walk through its doors. I remember when I joined a “Bible church” a couple of months after I left the gay life and enrolled in H.A.’s online program. The brothers and sisters there were really nice, but man was there a difference between us. I walked in on a Wednesday evening to join there Bible study – dressed in army pants & boots and a black leather jacket. And there were sitting all those nicely dressed Christians. I felt like someone from Mars (which was not their fault, but still). They knew nothing about me, but as luck wanted to have it they dealt with a Bible verse speaking on sexual immorality. One of them mentioned that actually there was nothing for them to talk about as they didn’t have that problem. On the inside I thought well, now you do (as it later turned out, they had it as well). Sometime after that – I was already a member – a dear friend of mine held a Bible study before the service. He spoke about sinning. Sinning with a capital “S” sort of – the real bad stuff. And then he turned to me and said something like “Well, Robert, what do you say to that?”. As if I was the only sinner in the house (he might not have meant it that way, but it sure sounded like that. For a very long time I felt like the black sheep of the family there – as loving as they were.
So instead of confronting people with same-sex attractions with commonplaces and Bible verses (as true as they are, but the letter can kill if you don’t apply him with love – think of how Jesus saved the prostitute who was about to be stoned – He saved her before she could even say beep!), we might show them what Christian love, what Christianity in general is all about – through our actions. They should see Christ through us! That does not mean they should not be confronted with the truth as well, but they first need to be “fed” (that is taken care of with love), before they even trust us enough to want to know more about what motivates us. Just standing with a sign at the sidewalk when a gay parade passes by, does not to anything good for anyone. It might even make you look weird (to say the least).

To cut a long story short: Yes, sinners (that is we all!) need to hear the truth in and with love. But people that come from “out there” need to see what stuff we are made of first. They want to feel it, experience it before they might think about wanting to have it too. And yes, we all deserve the truth. But the truth in love – else there is no truth. Most of all people with same-sex attractions deserve every and any help possible – from a medical point of view (like therapy), from the Church, from their families and friends and from politics and laws. This is why I support “Voice of the Voiceless”.

Some time ago I served as a volunteer in a local prison. There you cannot throw Bible verses at the inmates. First, you are not supposed to do that unless they want it and second they can smell a mile away what your true motivation is – if you are there to get one point off your Christian “to-do-list” and do something for those poor prisoners by quoting them Bible verses and tell them some commonplaces – or if you are there for THEM. They want to see what you are made of – and then (and ONLY then) they might take some interest in your motivation.

I guess it is not much different with people who live a “gay” life. If we are REALLY made of that stuff, then let’s show it to them! Let’s love them like Christ would.

Rob

„I only object to homosexual behavior, not the person behind it!“ – how many times have said things like that? Sounds good, right? Well, like every other distorted view it has a core truth – else there would be nothing to distort. Of course, as Christians we are against EVERY inappropriate sexual thing outside a monogamous, lifelong marriage between a man and a woman – be it in thought or deed.

However, think about it: What would you say if someone told you that as a heterosexual man – you as a person are alright as long as you don’t have sex with a girl. What nonsense! How on God’s good earth did we ever come up with the thought that you can separate the two? As human beings, we are an inseparable unity of body, psyche and soul. Our actions cannot be separated from the rest of our personality. This is why Jesus kept on telling us that it is not only our wrong actions that get us in trouble, but the thought/heart behind them.

So if you see someone with same-sex attractions, maybe an effeminate man or a masculine looking woman, stop saying things like that. Our actions are just an expression of something bigger in us. Likewise simply to stop doing something is not recovery, it is avoidance and won’t get you far as the needs and hurts behind your lustful thoughts and actions are still there and are building up till the whole thing explodes.

To cut it short: If we want to be of some real help for men and women with same-sex attractions, we need to take a closer look, to listen and to love. What is going on in that person? Maybe he/she is dealing with some past hurt or has unmet emotional or relation issues? How can we substitute that or even be part of the healing process?

You know what, people with same-sex attractions have heard so many shallow-sounding Christian commonplaces they are fed up with them. It’s not for nothing that the old prejudice of the hypocrite and self-righteous Christians keeps on being repeated over and over again.

Why can’t we just go away from all those sophistic theological phrases and just love people with same-sex attractions like Jesus would?

Robert

I very much dislike it when people give wise advices and comments on how people with same-sex attractions feel and act without having the slightest idea of what's going on in such folks. Keep it for yourself, will ya? You actually say more about yourself then than about those you criticise.
Rob

The Gospel Coalition: In a series of short videos, Sam Allberry explains how you can minister to your friends and church members who are same-sex attracted.

Posted by Sex/uality Matters on Samstag, 27. Juni 2015

Remember:

The only reason why people don't find freedom from same-sex attractions is because they don't believe it can be done!

From some of our members:

For those of you who embraced the gay life: What do you think was the reason for you to do that? What was the big hook?


„Personally talking, as far as I can remember, I was looking for an ideal relationship with a guy at my age. Before living the gay life, the boys at my age never behave to me like being equal.  My self esteem was extremely low and it seemed to me like a dream if one of those boys who rejected me wanted to have a love affair with me.  

Of course that kind of love affair never appeared. Instead of that , other kind of sexual relationships came to my way, especially those who are motivated from sexual pleasure. “

Ya.


“I was isolated at the time. I did  not realize there were other options.  I did not know I could make choices. I blamed God at the time (Who is now Our Father to me). I did not know  where to  go for help. I had no guidance. I came from a single parent back ground. I grow  up in an inner city  hostile, violent ghetto.   I was lost. I was ashamed to talk about what happened to me. I was just a small child. The people who could have helped me didn't.  I needed help but did not know  where to go. Then  the stigma, the shame,  the embarrassment, the ridicule was a  complete attack  on my broken little self. Who could I talk to; not even my  Mom. I was too ashamed, embarrassed and scared I was just a small developing boy. I was already hurt &  broken. My only options  were suicide and drugs so i thought.  Later I went to a gay bar and met new people. I started talking, having fun, drinking all my problems away. Made new friends, discover  a whole new world the gay ghetto even had lovers. Then I go to sleep with drugs  and wake  up the next day and start  over again. I was lost with  no where to go.“

Yo.

HA: New Homepage!

Homosexuals Anonymous has a new homepage:

http://www.homosexuals-anonymous.com/

Is Change Possible?

To make it very clear: Yes, the Jason ministry definitely believes that change is possible. We believe in God and His power to change our hearts and minds.

Matthew 19:26 King James Version (KJV):

"26 But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible."

"Whoever says that a person with SSA cannot change does not know my God."

Pastor Paul

Oceania and Africa

Thanks to the outstanding service and commitment of Pastor Paul, we were able to expand our ministry in Oceania, Africa and Asia. For more information please click here.

Was ist das eigentlich, "Homosexualitaet"?

Kurz gesagt, die Tatsache, dass sich jemand überwiegend und über einen längeren Zeitraum hinweg in sexueller und/oder emotionaler Hinsicht zum eigenen Geschlecht hingezogen fühlt. Wir bevorzugen aber den Begriff "gleichgeschlechtliche Neigungen". Zum einen ist der Begriff "Homosexualität" (als eigenständige Form der Sexualität) noch gar nicht so alt. In klinischer Hinsicht konzentriert er sich vor allem auf die sexuelle Anziehung, was jedoch zu kurz gegriffen ist, da man hier die emotionale Zuneigung außer Acht lässt. Zum anderen sind wir als Christen der Überzeugung, dass es nur eine Gott-gegebene Form der Sexualität gibt - und das ist die Heterosexualität. Ja, es gibt Menschen, die - aus welchen Gründen auch immer (und seien sie "genetisch") - gleichgeschlechtlich empfinden, wir sehen dies aber nicht als eine eigenständige Identität, sondern als Teil der Heterosexualität an. Dies bedeutet keine Abwertung von Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen oder eine Minder-Bewertung unseres Empfindens - ganz im Gegenteil. Wir sehen uns als Teil von etwas, das größer ist als wir (Gottes heterosexuelle Schöpfung) und sind weder besser noch schlechter als andere Menschen noch sehen wir uns als etwas Besonderes an und blicken auch nicht auf die herab, die ihre gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen ausleben. Auch konzentriert sich unser Leben nicht auf unser sexuelles und/oder emotionales Empfinden, sondern auf den, dem wir nachfolgen und der uns eine teuer erkaufte Freiheit geschenkt hat, damit auch wir frei sein können: Jesus Christus.

Homosexuals Anonymous

Jason is affiliated to Homosexuals Anonymous:

www.homosexuals-anonymous.com

 

Dr. med. R. Febres Landauro

http://dr-richi.com/german/index.php/de/

Kontaktdaten

Ich freue mich auf Ihren Anruf oder Ihre E-mail. Sie brauchen keine Überweisung.

In Österreich erreichen Sie meine Ordination unter +43 662 84 53 25.

In Deutschland erreichen Sie die Praxis unter +49 8651 979 38 29.

Nonntaler Hauptstraße 1

A-5020 Salzburg

Douglas McIntyre, Co-Founder of HA

We as Christians are called to go and and make disciples. We should never content ourselves just meeting on a weekly basis like a religious club and listening to nicely sounding messages. Going out, however, means going out to those who need the Lord most: The poor, the sick, the lonely, the drug addicts, the hookers, the sexually broken, the gays, the desperate, the criminals, the inmates and many more. That means diving into their (!) waters. Only working on finding new ways to lure people into the Church (building) won't cut the deal. Those people will not even waste a thought on our nicely thought-out programs. If we go to where they are at though, we need to be aware that this is the kingdom of the Prince of the Air. These are highly dangerous waters, even though they offer us the greatest challenge for a rich harves for the Lord. To go there means to prepare - to put on our spiritual armour. Having a daily spiritual structure and surrounding ourselves with good and solid Christians is crucial if we want to face the evil. Then again - there is nothing like that. THIS is what Jesus wants us to do and where he wants us to be at. All the angels in heaven will cheer for each sould saved, for each sheep that finds its way back to the flock! Hallelujah!

What is Homosexuality?

“The older I get, the more I meet people, the more convinced I am that we must only work on ourselves, to grow in grace. The only thing we can do about people is to love them.”
― Dorothy Day, All the Way to Heaven: The Selected Letters of Dorothy Day

Hinweis fuer Priester und Ordensangehoerige sowie Mitarbeiter in pastoralen Diensten:

Sie dürfen sich jederzeit - auf Wunsch auch anonym - an uns wenden. Sämtliche Anfragen werden vertraulich behandelt.

Kontakt-Telefonnummer: 089-78018960

Kontakt-Email: [email protected]

Wir freuen uns auf Sie!


The 14 Steps

1. We admitted that we were powerless over our homosexuality and that our emotional lives were unmanageable.

2. We came to believe the love of God, who forgave us and accepted us in spite of all that we are and have done.

3. We learned to see purpose in our suffering, that our failed lives were under God's control, who is able to bring good out of trouble.

4. We came to believe that God had already broken the power of homosexuality and that He could therefore restore our true personhood.

5. We came to perceive that we had accepted a lie about ourselves, an illusion that had trapped us in a false identity.

6. We learned to claim our true reality that as humankind, we are part of God's heterosexual creation and that God calls us to rediscover that identity in Him through Jesus Christ, as our faith perceives Him.

7. We resolved to entrust our lives to our loving God and to live by faith, praising Him for our new unseen identity, confident that it would become visible to us in God's good time.

8. As forgiven people free from condemnation, we made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves, determined to root out fear, hidden hostility, and contempt for the world.

9. We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs and humbly asked God to remove our defects of character.

10. We willingly made direct amends wherever wise and possible to all people we had harmed.

11. We determined to live no longer in fear of the world, believing that God's victorious control turns all that is against us into our favor, bringing advantage out of sorrow and order from disaster.

12. We determined to mature in our relationships with men and women, learning the meaning of a partnership of equals, seeking neither dominance over people nor servile dependency on them.

13. We sought through confident praying, and the wisdom of Scripture for an ongoing growth in our relationship with God and a humble acceptance of His guidance for our lives.

14. Having had a spiritual awakening, we tried to carry this message to homosexual people with a love that demands nothing and to practice these steps in all our lives' activities, as far as lies within us.

While the Homosexuals Anonymous Fellowship was inspired by the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, they are not really an adaptation. Rather, they were created specifically for this Fellowship, and should not be construed otherwise. AA, which is a program concerned only with recovery from alcoholism, and is not in any way affiliated with this Fellowship.

Homosexuals Anonymous

“Love and ever more love is the only solution to every problem that comes up.
If we love each other enough, we will bear with each other's faults and burdens.
If we love enough, we are going to light a fire in the hearts of others.
And it is love that will burn out the sins and hatreds that sadden us. It is love that will make us want to do great things for each other. No sacrifice and no suffering will then seem too much.”
― Dorothy Day

Arthur Goldberg

New Homepage: Voices of Change!

Click here for more info.

If

If you were a Facebook member, and if you received a message to accept Jesus as your friend, would you?

If you received Him as a friend and you had the opportunity to say Like Him, would you share Him with your friends?

If He shared some awesome messages on Facebook with you, that could save lives, would you tell your other Facebook friends?

If Jesus asked you to tell your Facebook friends about Him, would you be to ashamed to do so?

If Jesus came to your door today, would you let Him in?

If Jesus walked into your door, would you let Him be your friend?

If Jesus shared a life altering message with you, that could save lives, would you tell your friends?

If you had the opportunity to tell others about Him, would you be too ashamed to do so?

If Jesus allows you a glimpse of Heaven, would He be ashamed of you?

If Jesus opened the door for you to see the Father, would He be your friend?

If Jesus asked the Father to be your friend, would He be ashamed of you?

André

www.thewordswithin.org

 

http://www.northridgerochester.com/messages/the-church-and-homosexuality/rethinking-our-responses/If you've ever read any of Matt Moore's articles, you'll enjoy his testimony at the beginning of this video.

Posted by Pure Passion on Sonntag, 5. Juli 2015

Homosexuals Anonymous

Homosexuals Anonymous Fellowship Services

www.homosexuals-anonymous.com

USA

Homosexuals Anonymous is an international organization dedicated to serving the recovery needs of men and women who struggle with unwanted same sex attraction.

This fellowship of men and women, who through their common spiritual, intellectual and emotional experiences have chosen to help each other live in freedom from homosexuality.

Welcome to our website

If you are a person who struggles with unwanted same sex attraction, you are not alone Homosexuals Anonymous and many other related ministries, counselors and therapists provide valuable resources that can be of great use to you.

Remember always that while no one chooses to have same sex attraction, many do choose to diminish and eliminate those feelings of attraction. All people have the right to self determination, the right to choose for themselves the aspects that comprise their identity. Through HA, you will meet many people who see their identity as being rooted in their faith and not in their unwanted desires and behaviors.

If you are a parent, relative or friend of someone who struggles with unwanted same sex attraction, you can find helpful resources they will appreciate.

If you are a parent, friend or relative of someone who embraces and lives a gay lifestyle, you can find support, encouragement and hope in the material you will find available to you in website. If you are interested in online support groups or forming a local parents support group, please contact us and let us know how we can serve you.

If you are a minister, counselor or therapist looking for a support group and other resources to serve the needs of a counselee wanting freedom from homosexuality, then please read through our website. In your exploration you will learn who we are and how we can help you.

New Book by Dr. Douglas McIntyre!

Broken Chains: A journey of recovery from ssa, anger, addiction and child abuse

Dr. Douglas E. McIntyre (Author)

Paperback: 80 pages

Publisher: CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform (December 19, 2012)

Language: English

ISBN-10: 1481265334

ISBN-13: 978-1481265331

Get it here: http://www.amazon.com/Broken-Chains-journey-recovery-addiction/dp/1481265334/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1356982439&sr=1-1&keywords=broken+chains+douglas+mcintyre

Radical | A book by David Platt

Radical | A book by David Platt

Radical | A book by David Platt

Seek Me!

Jeremiah 29:13

King James Version (KJV)

"And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart."

 

My King

Funny thing, if I remember correctly there once used to be a rabbi who did not have any business plan for church mega-growth. No publicity department. No homepage. No emails. No money. Even those He chose as followers were - theologically speaking - illiterates. A handful of dudes, and one even was a bum.

What was He thinking?

When He preached, He used words that drove people away from Him. He couldn't care less. He even asked the remaining rest if they wanted to leave, too. No political correctness here.

Again: What was He thinking?

He could have used other means. He could have been the kind of leader that people back then (and today?) were waiting for. The mighty warlord. The knight in shining armour. The one that kicks some .... and throws those Romans out.

Yes, He could have. He had all the power to do that - and more than that. And what did He do? He dealt with the lowest of the lowest and humbled Himself to their level. He loved people in a way unknown before. With a love that asked for nothing and gave everything. With a love that puts us to shame even today.

He did not fulfill people's expectations. He did not give them what they wanted. He gave them what they truly needed. And to do so, He gave His utmost: He sacrificed Himself and gave His life so we can live. He came down on earth to become man so men could become sons of God. Dying on the cross like a criminal, He even prayed for those who helped nailing Him up there.

And what's worst: He even asked everything of His disciples. They were told to give - no: to sacrifice! - everything they have. To sell all of their possessions, give their money to the poor and follow Him without even looking back. They were even told to give their own lives!

I guess He would still be sort of out of place in some of the churches today.

If I remember correctly, His name was Jesus.

Anybody by chance remember Him?

He is the ruler of my life. He is the one I love and follow.

He is my king.

My saviour.

Rob

Map

theWord Bible Software

I Have Decided to Follow Jesus

"I have decided to follow Jesus. Though no one joins me, still I will follow."

Assam, north-east India, who held on to Jesus when being told to recounce his faith by the village chief. His wife was killed and Assam as well - while he was singing these words: "The cross before me, the world behind me." His strong faith kept on shining: The village chief and others in the village converted afterwards. (see: Wikipedia)

Freedom from SSA

Guys,

there are many professionals who are able to scientifically explain to you how to find freedom from same-sex attractions.

I am a simple man so I will try to tell you in simple terms.

Imagine a father who wants to teach his son how to ride a bike. He will not give him a lesson on the functioning of each single part, where it came from and what it is made of. Nor will he lecture on how the human body works and how the mind coordinates things. He loves his sonny and wants him to be able to ride that bike on his own.

Of course, he could let him continue to ride with additional wheels, but this is not what the father wants. Daddy knows that his son will likely fall a couple of times. There will be tears and some pain as well. But as a loving father he buys his son a bike and takes him out to teach him how to ride.

Now the son does not expect a big lesson or a manual to start with. Yes, he might be somewhat scared as he does not know what to expect and how to handle this bike without additional wheels that keep it stable. But he knows that he can fully trust his father. He loves his daddy more than anything - and daddy loves him. So he takes a courageous first step and lets daddy show him how to do it.

Daddy will fist be there all the time to hold his son while he rides. However, step by step he will let him run a little bit on his own.

Sonny will ride this first bits all shaky and insecure, but then again he trusts his daddy, so he manages to do it - sort of.

Sometimes he will fall and have his knee scratched. Tears will roll down his cheek, but daddy will hold him im his arms and encourage him to take another effort.

Day by day little sonny will drive a little longer all by himself, until he finally manages to ride that bike completely alone. Daddy will be so proud of his son and his son will come running into his arms, thanking his beloved daddy for keeping his promise to be there all the time when things were getting rough on him. Daddy told him that he will ride that bike and all his little son had to do is to trust him just enough that he goes for it.

Sometimes all that keeps us from succeeding is the lack of belief that it can be done.

Rob

Americans for Truth about Homosexuality

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JONAH'S Suggested Questions for a Prospective Therapist or Counselor
Author / Contributor :: JONAH's Directors
JONAH is frequently asked for referrals to therapists or counselors who are experienced in working with those who are unhappy feeling same-sex attraction. We provide referrals if we are familiar with a therapist who lives in the required geographical area and at times we recommend telephone therapy. However, there are times when we do not have a particular therapist to recommend and/or one of our members wants to interview a new therapist.
In order to be sure the prospective therapist or counselor you are interviewing understands fully the concepts involved in reparative or change therapy, we have compiled a list of questions you can ask to determine if this is the right person for you to work with.
If you find a therapist who is effective in treating unwanted same-sex attraction, please contact us with the name so we can speak with him/her and perhaps add this person to our referral list.
Here are basic questions you can ask of any therapist:
These five questions are taken directly from Anne Paulk's 2003 book:
Restoring Sexual Identity: Hope for Women Who Struggle with Same-Sex Attraction (page 115).

Do you believe that men and women are "born gay?"
Do you believe that wanting to leave homosexuality is harmful or dangerous?
Do you believe that change is even possible?
Can you support me in my desire to change?
Have you read relevant research concerning the topics of gender identity disorder,
homosexuality, and family structure?

The following six questions or requests are taken directly from Richard Cohen's 2000 book:
Coming Out Straight: Understanding and Healing Homosexuality (page 115).

Please tell me about your education and training in this area of sexual reorientation therapy.
What therapeutic modalities do you use? Please explain them in simple layman's terms.
Have you worked with others who have transitioned out of homosexuality?
What is your success rate in doing this kind of work?
Do you believe in God? (If important: What is your religious faith?)
Have you done your own healing work?

Janelle Hallman

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